43 & Single – Heaven Help Me, I've Resorted To Internet Dating!

Ridiculous & Random Stories & Thoughts on My Experiences

What Is It About Cats? May 7, 2015

Filed under: internet dating — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 4:15 pm
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Sure, cats are okay (they’re no dog, mind you).  They (can be) cute, fluffy, interactive and goofy.  Usually though, they’re just kinda, well, cats.  They do their own thing, on their own schedule and seem to like to be left alone.  I associate cats with someone not really committing to a pet.  You could never put a big bowl of food down and leave the house for a week with a dog, but I find that a lot of cat owners do this very thing.  Because they can and it’s easy.

Now before all you cat people get up in arms, I realize I am making a HUGE generalization here.  You should know by know that’s kinda my thing. ;-)  There are some awesome cats out there as well as some awesome cat owners.  I just find it a little Norman Bates-ish for a single man to own cats.  Not that they go around killing people in their showers, but in that I always think they spend lots of time at home.  Alone.  Petting their cats.  And talking to their mothers on the phone (dead or alive).  But that’s just me.

Anyway, I’ve come across a LOT of profile pictures with men hugging their cats.  And they use them as their main pictures.  It’s just weird.  Today I even saw one that looked like a total professional pictures and the man was not only holding his cat up next to his face, but was also wearing a sweat band on his wrist.  As he wasn’t dressed in tennis garb, I have no clue why anyone would wear a white terry cloth sweat band with a dress shirt.  Sure, I live in a very hot climate, but I feel their are better ways to handle a sweat situation.

Although my list of things NOT to pose with for an online dating profile seems to be ever growing (dead fish, dead animals, a crotch rocket, a hooker, a convertible corvette to name a few), I do believe I’m going to have to add cats to my list.  At this rate I’m going to rule out every guy in town.  *Sigh*.  Maybe I just do this as they’ve already apparently ruled me out …..


Fairy Tales and Delusions April 30, 2015

Filed under: internet dating — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 2:29 pm
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Instead of demanding my phone number like that other douchebag, I had someone politely request my number after just 2 messages several days ago as he didn’t like to communicate on dating sites.  I get that.  There’s sort of a ‘big brother is watching’ feel to it.  As he asked so nicely (and was a total cutie in his pictures), I gave it to him.  And he actually picked up the phone and called me!  What a nice guy!  We talked for over 2 hours.  We actually have a lot in common and have been texting back and forth.

We are meeting for a drink tomorrow night (I’m writing this in advance and not actually posting it in case something goes horribly wrong …….. or right) and I’m actually nervous.  He’s a 6’2″ red head.  I love me a ginger!  He’s also very physically active and in shape.  Sadly, I am far from that right now.  I am honest in my profile and with my pictures, but I still fear that he’s going to take one look at me and run away.  While I’m far from a lazy sloth (most days), since my stupid surgery and repeated rounds of medications that do nothing but make me gain weight paired with my inability to exercise, I’ve certainly got more ‘padding’ than I ever have before.  He knows about all of this, but I still can’t help but wonder if someone like him would really be attracted to a ‘fluffier’ than normal me.

So we met yesterday and we’re running off to Europe together over the weekend.  It’s love!

Okay, not really.  Here’s how it really went.  He showed up and although I was a little bit disappointed in his appearance (he’s more skinny than built), I still knew he was a nice guy, so why not.   We sat and chatted and he looked everywhere but at me when he talked.  Uber annoying, but when I asked him about it, he said he does make eye contact when talking.  Okaaaaaay.  He was a bit opinionated and negative when he spoke, but I chalked that up to being nervous maybe?  Anyway, we had an okay time but as he announced, right off the bat, that he was taking his kids out to dinner later, I kinda got the hint.  We hung out for about an hour or so and he walked me to my car, gave me a hug, told me to keep in touch and even opened the car door for me.  Nice touch.  As I drove home I wondered if it was even worth giving things a 2nd chance just to make sure there was nothing there.  Before I could even decide if a 2nd date would be warranted I got a text message saying that he wasn’t interested.

Huh.  It’s a pretty crappy day when guys I’m not even sure I’m interested in tell me they’re not interested in me…… :-(


All That For………….This??? April 26, 2015

Filed under: internet dating — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 7:00 pm
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So the great debate was whether or not to give this guy my phone number.  As he somewhat demanded it instead of asking politely for it, right away, my gut instinct said not to.  Then I read some comments saying to go ahead.  Ugh.  I know I’ve given my number out right away before and honestly, I wasn’t worried about him being a weirdo or a stalker, it was more in the way he gave me the ultimatum of sending my number or no communication that made me not want to.  Whatever.  I thought is was a bit assholian (GG original word) of him.

His main claim was that he hated typing and thought it was a ‘pain’ and wanted to have a conversation in real time.  On top of that, he just sounded kinda negative in his messages and profile.  I did decide, in the end, to send him my phone number.  I gotta recoup my membership fee somehow, right (and, as everyone pointed out, it would at least make for a blog post – you’re welcome)?  So he texts me this morning.  What?  Isn’t texting the same as typing, just on a smaller keyboard?

Here’s how it went:

him: Hi there.  This is the stalker! lmao

me: Hi (insert name here)

him: How are you doing GG?

me: Great, thanks!  How are you on this gorgeous day?  Anything fun planned?

him: Getting ready to have some brunch or breakfast, whatever, and don’t know what else

me: 11am = brunch (smiley emoticon).  So your profile says you like to cook?

him: (45 minutes later, mind you) yes

I didn’t bother to respond.  Really?  He tried this hard for my number not even to make an actual call like he claimed, he took no less than 10 minutes between responses (and 45 at the end) and this is what I got?  No ‘conversation’.  No engaging.  No questions. No nothin’.  What an idiot…….


The Art Of Back Peddaling April 24, 2015

Filed under: internet dating — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 1:07 pm
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Soooooo, remember the horrible man who grilled me for over an hour on the phone before declaring me worthy of meeting him, who I subsequently opted out of, who THEN sent me a lovely shitty e mail listing all of the reasons that he didn’t want to meet me anyway?  Yeah, that one.  He decided to e mail me yesterday.  Lucky me.

He apologized for how our phone conversation came off, claimed that’s not how he ‘normally’ has a conversation with his friends and then blamed it on online dating for being such a grill-master.  He also was gracious enough to say that he’d still like to meet me.  Uhm, hello?  I feel as if he’s missing a HUGE chunk out of his memory.  Not only was the phone call painful, but the follow up nasty-gram letting me know all the reasons that I wasn’t a suitable match for him seems to have escaped his memory.  I do believe I’ll opt out of responding and have absolutely NO regrets of missing out on the opportunity to meet this jackass.

Now, as for the guy on the other site who gave me the ultimatum of providing my phone number or he wouldn’t communicate with me messaged back.  As I can’t possibly capture the esense of his defensiveness without making him seem like a petulant and controlling idiot……oh wait, he IS these things, I’ll just post it.  Anywhoo, here’s what I wrote him as well as his response.  Please enjoy

Me to him:  Hi Dumbass (not his real name),

Thanks for the note. I would never assume that anyone is a stalker. I’m the one that always thinks the best of everyone.

Although I prefer to have a real conversation as well, as I said, giving out my number (which is my work phone as well) off the bat just isn’t something I’m comfortable doing.

I ‘get’ that you’re not a fan of typing (who is?), but as you managed to type an entire profile, I’m kind of surprised that you basically told me that you won’t communicate with me unless I give you my number.

While I’m far from being someone that likes to message back and forth incessantly, I didn’t think it was too much to ask for a few more messages back and forth before doing so. I’d think if you wanted to get to know me, you’d be okay with waiting until I was comfortable. That’s disappointing that you’re unwilling to do that.

My apologies if that’s not what you meant, but it’s the way it came across.

Him to me:  Well Grey Goose, You certainly labeled me as doing that, then merely left a disclaimer afterwards. lmao… Its okay though as I dont expect much from online anything.
And I did fill out a profile. It is a must to get someone to pay attention. But to keep doing as I am now is just a pain.
Look up (insert dumbass’ crappy website here) and you will see my number is also my business number.
So I have no choice in running a successful business under a number For stalking. lol…
I hope since I have been typing with you now that you my compromise and also text…

Not sure how he thinks that message would make me want to give him my phone number, but that’s what he opted to go with.  Please note, that he STILL didn’t just give me his number.  He made me look up his craptastic website.  I think this one is a bit too argumentative, negative and difficult for me!  Everything else aside, his grammar sucks!


Why I’m An Idiot, Part #4,268 April 23, 2015

Filed under: internet dating — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 8:43 am

So yesterday was the day I had in my calendar to cancel my Match subscription.  As I haven’t really had anything of interest happen in the past 3 months on there, I was actually sort of excited to cancel it!  So I did.  Until it asked the reason for my quitting and when faced with that, I always choose the one that may get me a ‘deal’ (no clue why I do this).  I selected ‘can’t afford it’ and then was presented with another question asking if I could afford it at a discount.  Of course, being the frugal gal I am, I hit yes just to see what they’d offer me.  And there it was.  3 months for the price of one.  And there went another $35.99.  For 3 more months of annoyance and disinterest from the men that are on Match in my area.

As we all know that I base the ‘success’ of my dating memberships on whether or not I can make up the subscription price in dating cocktails, I’m actually a bit skeptical that I can even do it.  Or want to.

I feel I’m having a Charlotte moment.  I’m so tired of dating.  Where is he?!?!?!?


As The World Turns….. April 22, 2015

Filed under: internet dating — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 3:57 pm

The world of online dating, that is.  I went out of town for 4 days.  Prior to that, I was messaging with 2 seemingly great guys.  Apparently 4 days away was all it took to cure them of their attraction to me.  I messaged them when I got back (they knew I was going out of town) and I am now privy to the sound of crickets.  Online affections are quite fleeting.

I’m confused by a new guy.  Not that I know anything about him, but I fear he’s bad news.  Not sure why.  I logged on today to one of my multiple dating sites to see that he had sent me a ‘flirt’.  Uhm, okay.  I read his profile and it said he was a recovered bad boy.  I assume that was his attempt at humor, but who knows.  Anyway, as I was about to run out the door, I saved him to my favorites with the intention of messaging him when I had time.  Well, not 4 seconds after I did that, he sends a note saying ‘why not just message me’.  Uhm, hold on slugger, I’m getting there.

He basically told me his name and asked for my phone number.  Yeah.  No.  I wrote back saying that I’m hesitant to give out my number right away to men I know nothing about online.  He writes back saying that he’s sorry for whatever I’ve experienced in the past to make me feel that way, but that he’s not a stalker or weirdo.  That he hates typing and would rather have a conversation in real time.  That ‘when I’m ready to start this’, to send him my number.

I’m hugely annoyed by this and I’m not sure why.  Maybe he’s a huge ALPHA and likes things his way.  Maybe he’s dying to send me a dic pic.  Maybe he’s just an asshole.  While I’ve given out my number right away before, I’ve never had someone tell me that they won’t communicate unless it’s over the phone.  Even if I was thinking about sending it to him, now I don’t want to because he basically told me I had to.  Thoughts??


Timing Is Everything….. April 14, 2015

Filed under: internet dating — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 2:45 pm
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No, not for dates, but for blog posts.  I was just reminded that I never updated all two of you everyone on my baseball date.  The overly optimistic reasoning, she figured, was because I was well on my way to happily ever after while sitting on a beach in Bali.  Hmmmmm, not quite.

I met him at his place and he had gotten my favorite beverage for me.  Well, what he thought was my favorite beverage but was, in fact, not.  Sweet gesture though.  I should have taken him up on his offer of a cocktail though as his driving is just short of horrendous.  I thought my mother was the worst driver ever but he makes her seem awfully safe and smooth by comparison.

We arrived in one piece though, so there’s that.  We had a great time at game.  We didn’t actually watch much of the game as the spectators were much more fascinating.  We watched some of the game, had some of the world’s most expensive beers and chatted.  He really is a fascinating man.  His background is in history and geography, so pair that with his extensive travels and he knows a lot.  I mean, a lot.  I’m no dummy, but I can’t touch his knowledge of all things in existence.  I don’t even mean that in a sarcastic way, he’s truly just a well educated man.  And a very sweet one.

He took me back to my car, gave me a hug and a quick peck and that was that.  No discussion of seeing each other again.  As I was a tad bit tipsy, of course I had some sort of pathetic panic attack on the way home and regaled one of my friends with my neurotic ‘why, what if, what did I do wrong’ nonsense.  Until I woke up the next day and realized that I was okay either way.  There still wasn’t a spark, but being the oddly conceited gal that I am, I still find it hard to believe that there are no sparks on his end either.

I got a text from him the next day letting me know what a terrific time he had and telling me about his morning.  And that was that.  And last Tuesday.  A week ago.  Radio silence since then, and it’s okay.

Mr. San Diego called me several times last weekend to let me know he’d be in town.  I was booked with plans but told him where he could meet us if he wanted.  And he apparently didn’t want to.  Haven’t heard from him since either.

I guess it’s back to the drawing board………



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