43 & Single – Heaven Help Me, I've Resorted To Internet Dating!

Ridiculous & Random Stories & Thoughts on My Experiences

The Art Of Back Peddaling April 24, 2015

Filed under: internet dating — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 1:07 pm
Tags: , , , ,

Soooooo, remember the horrible man who grilled me for over an hour on the phone before declaring me worthy of meeting him, who I subsequently opted out of, who THEN sent me a lovely shitty e mail listing all of the reasons that he didn’t want to meet me anyway?  Yeah, that one.  He decided to e mail me yesterday.  Lucky me.

He apologized for how our phone conversation came off, claimed that’s not how he ‘normally’ has a conversation with his friends and then blamed it on online dating for being such a grill-master.  He also was gracious enough to say that he’d still like to meet me.  Uhm, hello?  I feel as if he’s missing a HUGE chunk out of his memory.  Not only was the phone call painful, but the follow up nasty-gram letting me know all the reasons that I wasn’t a suitable match for him seems to have escaped his memory.  I do believe I’ll opt out of responding and have absolutely NO regrets of missing out on the opportunity to meet this jackass.

Now, as for the guy on the other site who gave me the ultimatum of providing my phone number or he wouldn’t communicate with me messaged back.  As I can’t possibly capture the esense of his defensiveness without making him seem like a petulant and controlling idiot……oh wait, he IS these things, I’ll just post it.  Anywhoo, here’s what I wrote him as well as his response.  Please enjoy

Me to him:  Hi Dumbass (not his real name),

Thanks for the note. I would never assume that anyone is a stalker. I’m the one that always thinks the best of everyone.

Although I prefer to have a real conversation as well, as I said, giving out my number (which is my work phone as well) off the bat just isn’t something I’m comfortable doing.

I ‘get’ that you’re not a fan of typing (who is?), but as you managed to type an entire profile, I’m kind of surprised that you basically told me that you won’t communicate with me unless I give you my number.

While I’m far from being someone that likes to message back and forth incessantly, I didn’t think it was too much to ask for a few more messages back and forth before doing so. I’d think if you wanted to get to know me, you’d be okay with waiting until I was comfortable. That’s disappointing that you’re unwilling to do that.

My apologies if that’s not what you meant, but it’s the way it came across.

Him to me:  Well Grey Goose, You certainly labeled me as doing that, then merely left a disclaimer afterwards. lmao… Its okay though as I dont expect much from online anything.
And I did fill out a profile. It is a must to get someone to pay attention. But to keep doing as I am now is just a pain.
Look up (insert dumbass’ crappy website here) and you will see my number is also my business number.
So I have no choice in running a successful business under a number For stalking. lol…
I hope since I have been typing with you now that you my compromise and also text…

Not sure how he thinks that message would make me want to give him my phone number, but that’s what he opted to go with.  Please note, that he STILL didn’t just give me his number.  He made me look up his craptastic website.  I think this one is a bit too argumentative, negative and difficult for me!  Everything else aside, his grammar sucks!

 

Why I’m An Idiot, Part #4,268 April 23, 2015

Filed under: internet dating — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 8:43 am

So yesterday was the day I had in my calendar to cancel my Match subscription.  As I haven’t really had anything of interest happen in the past 3 months on there, I was actually sort of excited to cancel it!  So I did.  Until it asked the reason for my quitting and when faced with that, I always choose the one that may get me a ‘deal’ (no clue why I do this).  I selected ‘can’t afford it’ and then was presented with another question asking if I could afford it at a discount.  Of course, being the frugal gal I am, I hit yes just to see what they’d offer me.  And there it was.  3 months for the price of one.  And there went another $35.99.  For 3 more months of annoyance and disinterest from the men that are on Match in my area.

As we all know that I base the ‘success’ of my dating memberships on whether or not I can make up the subscription price in dating cocktails, I’m actually a bit skeptical that I can even do it.  Or want to.

I feel I’m having a Charlotte moment.  I’m so tired of dating.  Where is he?!?!?!?

 

As The World Turns….. April 22, 2015

Filed under: internet dating — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 3:57 pm

The world of online dating, that is.  I went out of town for 4 days.  Prior to that, I was messaging with 2 seemingly great guys.  Apparently 4 days away was all it took to cure them of their attraction to me.  I messaged them when I got back (they knew I was going out of town) and I am now privy to the sound of crickets.  Online affections are quite fleeting.

I’m confused by a new guy.  Not that I know anything about him, but I fear he’s bad news.  Not sure why.  I logged on today to one of my multiple dating sites to see that he had sent me a ‘flirt’.  Uhm, okay.  I read his profile and it said he was a recovered bad boy.  I assume that was his attempt at humor, but who knows.  Anyway, as I was about to run out the door, I saved him to my favorites with the intention of messaging him when I had time.  Well, not 4 seconds after I did that, he sends a note saying ‘why not just message me’.  Uhm, hold on slugger, I’m getting there.

He basically told me his name and asked for my phone number.  Yeah.  No.  I wrote back saying that I’m hesitant to give out my number right away to men I know nothing about online.  He writes back saying that he’s sorry for whatever I’ve experienced in the past to make me feel that way, but that he’s not a stalker or weirdo.  That he hates typing and would rather have a conversation in real time.  That ‘when I’m ready to start this’, to send him my number.

I’m hugely annoyed by this and I’m not sure why.  Maybe he’s a huge ALPHA and likes things his way.  Maybe he’s dying to send me a dic pic.  Maybe he’s just an asshole.  While I’ve given out my number right away before, I’ve never had someone tell me that they won’t communicate unless it’s over the phone.  Even if I was thinking about sending it to him, now I don’t want to because he basically told me I had to.  Thoughts??

 

Timing Is Everything….. April 14, 2015

Filed under: internet dating — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 2:45 pm
Tags: , , ,

No, not for dates, but for blog posts.  I was just reminded that I never updated all two of you everyone on my baseball date.  The overly optimistic reasoning, she figured, was because I was well on my way to happily ever after while sitting on a beach in Bali.  Hmmmmm, not quite.

I met him at his place and he had gotten my favorite beverage for me.  Well, what he thought was my favorite beverage but was, in fact, not.  Sweet gesture though.  I should have taken him up on his offer of a cocktail though as his driving is just short of horrendous.  I thought my mother was the worst driver ever but he makes her seem awfully safe and smooth by comparison.

We arrived in one piece though, so there’s that.  We had a great time at game.  We didn’t actually watch much of the game as the spectators were much more fascinating.  We watched some of the game, had some of the world’s most expensive beers and chatted.  He really is a fascinating man.  His background is in history and geography, so pair that with his extensive travels and he knows a lot.  I mean, a lot.  I’m no dummy, but I can’t touch his knowledge of all things in existence.  I don’t even mean that in a sarcastic way, he’s truly just a well educated man.  And a very sweet one.

He took me back to my car, gave me a hug and a quick peck and that was that.  No discussion of seeing each other again.  As I was a tad bit tipsy, of course I had some sort of pathetic panic attack on the way home and regaled one of my friends with my neurotic ‘why, what if, what did I do wrong’ nonsense.  Until I woke up the next day and realized that I was okay either way.  There still wasn’t a spark, but being the oddly conceited gal that I am, I still find it hard to believe that there are no sparks on his end either.

I got a text from him the next day letting me know what a terrific time he had and telling me about his morning.  And that was that.  And last Tuesday.  A week ago.  Radio silence since then, and it’s okay.

Mr. San Diego called me several times last weekend to let me know he’d be in town.  I was booked with plans but told him where he could meet us if he wanted.  And he apparently didn’t want to.  Haven’t heard from him since either.

I guess it’s back to the drawing board………

 

Douchebags, Dickheads & Dates April 3, 2015

Filed under: internet dating — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 12:28 pm

Ahhh, the ever present three ‘D’s of online dating.  If only we could tweak the ratios of each, I probably wouldn’t dislike it so much.

I gave my number to several gentlemen this week.  One proceeded to text me with ridiculous nonsense.  One actually asked me out.  One opted to pick up the phone and call me.  And then proceeded to grill me for the most uncomfortable hour and 15 minutes of my life.  I swear he was going off a checklist.  The ‘okay, uhm, well’ before moving onto the next invasive question was a dead giveaway.  It was all about him and how I could fit into his messed up and very structured life.  It was just weird.  He asked about my business.  And my friends.  And my parents.  And where they live.  And their health.  And their history.  I’m pretty sure that while he listened to my responses, that he didn’t actually ‘hear’ a word I said.  Then he proceeded to wax poetic about how ‘spiritual and open minded’ he is before moving on to his next uber structured question.  It was excessive and annoying and the fact that I kept texting my friend to please come kill me during the call kind of said it all.  I tried to get off the phone multiple times.  He just kept going.

The next day he informed me that he enjoyed our conversation (which was far and away NOT a conversation, but an interview) and since I ‘fit’ what he was looking for (and didn’t have an issue with his one eyed creepy looking cat) he was ‘willing’ to meet me.  Gee, thanks.  I graciously declined and wished him well.  He then opted to send me the world’s crappiest e-mail letting me know all the reasons that he didn’t want to go out with me anyway.  Very mature.  As his #1 reason wasn’t that I told him I didn’t want to go out with him first, I hope karma comes to kick him in his shitty balding ass very soon.

To round out my week, I was on the receiving end of a string of nasty-grams from TD regarding his kids.  Yes, again.  It’s such a circular argument and one that’s been going on since last summer.  As I’ve told him before, I leave it to his kids to contact me, but if they do, I respond.  Duh, why wouldn’t I.  They’re adults.  He continues to process horse-face’s highly paranoid and uber emotionally manipulative behaviour as something that I should be responsible for.  No.  It was so strange.  As he was bitching me out, he kept also saying that it ‘wasn’t a big deal’ and that he knows I’m great with his kids.  Then he would say my contact with the kids was excessive and strange.  Then he said that when although he conveniently doesn’t remember encouraging me to stay in contact with the kids way back when, he says that he meant it as a temporary thing.  What?  I see his kids maybe once every month or two.  In no uncertain terms I told him to back off and to stop delivering his relationship drama at my feet.  I can’t help that she’s jealous of me.  I’m sure even if I did magically fall off the face of the planet, that she (and in turn, he) would still find something to attack me on.  Amazing how crappy people can be.  Amazing still that I never saw it coming until it was too late from him.  Most amazing of all, is that he still feels it’s okay to unload his bullshit on me and then say that he never meant to make me feel bad.  Uhm, okay.  He’s almost made me sorry that I ever met him.  Almost…..

Anywhoo, I had a date with a nice man last night.  We talked easily and he’s led a pretty fascinating life.  I would love to say that there was a spark, but there wasn’t.  Could there be in time?  I’m not sure.  It’s funny, when the check came for dinner (we had drinks first), he grabbed it and for whatever reason, I offered to pay since he paid at the bar prior.  He easily handed it over and said ‘well this one is more than the one at the bar’, by which time it was too late for me to rescind my offer.  Not sure why I offered.  I only do that when I know I don’t like someone and even then I shittily judge them if they take me up on my offer.  I kinda suck in this regard.

We’re going to see a baseball game on Monday.  I’ll let him pay.  And we’ll see how it goes.

Happy Friday everyone!

 

Coming To Terms….. March 30, 2015

Filed under: internet dating — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 9:47 am

With the fact that I’m (sadly) closer to 50 than I am 40, I’ve opted to try a new dating site.  I can’t even bring myself to type the name as it just makes me feel OLD, but so far so good.  And by good, I mean that no one has sent me a penis picture or been exceptionally rude or inappropriate.  Then again, no one has stepped up to the plate and asked me out yet either.  Aside from the guy in Montana.  Huh.  As I don’t live in Montana, the logistics of that would be interesting…..

Before I catch all 2 of you up on the current goings on, let’s close out the past bachelors.  Literally.  The one that I had the world’s most painful phone conversation with cancelled on me for happy hour fairly last minute.  I was fine with that as I was sort of considering doing the same to him.  He said he wanted to reschedule and never did.  Oh well.

Match is still dismal as ever.  I did have someone contact me who, poor guy, has contacted me many times over the past years of me being online.  And me being me, I never responded.  I decided that since the poor man has basically chased me all over the internet for years, I should probably at least respond.  He’s a nice man, I’m just not sure if we have anything in common and as he’s had the same set of unfortunate photos up for several years now, I have no clue what he actually looks like these days.  I fear that I’m not attracted to him, but maybe his personality will win me over and make me look past the Friar Tuck aspects of his appearance?  As he hasn’t asked me to meet and he wants to talk on the phone first as well, I guess we’ll see.

I had another gent from Match basically ask me out off the bat.  He lives in another state, but is here for work a lot.  Uhm, okay.  Problem is, whenever I would ask him any questions, he would just ask me out again and not really answer anything.  As I was sitting at a spring training game this weekend with girlfriends, I opted to text him (as I kinda think he’d be better suited to one of them over me) and he was again NOT forthcoming with details but wanted to meet after the game.  Uhm, sweaty and sun burned is not really how I roll for 1st meetings, but I told him I’d let him know if we went out afterwards.  And never did.  And I haven’t heard from him since.

I have been communicating with several people on this new (old) site though.  One seems quite promising.  I guess being ‘only’ 47 on a site for 50+ year olds is a good thing?  We’ll see if anything pans out and you’ll all be the 1st (or 3rd) to know. ;-)

 

What My Future Holds……. March 15, 2015

Filed under: internet dating — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 11:59 am

According to the psychic I went to see yesterday anyway.   I walked in, a bit cynical (as I’m not the most ‘spiritual’ person in the world – go figure, right?) and the 1st thing she says that screamed out of her from me was about my business.  Well boo.  I mean, that’s great and all, but really?  I was hoping that romance or relationships or pretty much anything other than ‘business’ would be what is the forefront of my being.  Not to be.  She was all about way to make my company bigger and more successful while simultaneously creating more time for me to be, well, alone ‘me’.

She told me lots of interesting things about lots of aspects of my life, but let’s be real here, I’m really only interested in what my romantic future holds.  She actually saw TD as an interference (surprise!).  Knew that there was someone ‘sticky’ who still hovered just outside my world.  She told me that that situation would never (NEVER) be anything other than sticky.  Go figure.

When she finally got down to business, she asked me if I’d just joined a softball league.  Interesting in that no, I haven’t, but I have joined a bowling league.  Nope.  She was pretty sure it was softball.  Okay.  She says that although she doesn’t like to give specifics as she doesn’t want anyone to close off to other possibilities, she sees someone that either plays or played softball, who is successful in his business, who is tall and who will most likely be introduced to me by a friend coming into my life.  Being as I’ve waited 47 years for any friend of mine to ever fix me up, I’m not sure about that one but who knows.  She says that online dating, although she’s not sure that’s how I’ll meet Mr Softball, is good in that it will help me stop putting my ideals and expectations forward.  She told me that just because someone isn’t forthcoming with everything right away, doesn’t make it deceptive.  I found that interesting in that I don’t think I do expect everyone to be an open book right away, but I took it to heart anyway.

She told me a few other things that I neglected to write down (darn it), but all in all it was an interesting reading.  Of course I went directly downstairs to their store and bought lots of rose quartz and other assorted crystals.  Don’t judge, it certainly couldn’t hurt.  Oh, and I bought tickets to a spring training game……….what?  If nothing else, I could go for a hot dog and beer!  And maybe meet my destiny ;-)

 

 
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