43 & Single – Heaven Help Me, I've Resorted To Internet Dating!

Ridiculous & Random Stories & Thoughts on My Experiences

Accidental Invite December 4, 2016

Filed under: dating,internet dating,online dating,single — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 9:45 am
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007 works shitty hours at his fascinating job.  Like 14 hour shifts 6 days a week.  Oh, and they’re overnight shifts right now too.  Yey me.  So our last date was to see the disappointing  Cirque Du Soleil show.  Then I was leaving town for 10 days.  We only texted once while I was away.

When I got back, our weather (no, the real weather, this isn’t a metaphor for anything) had changed and gotten really cold.  I texted to see if he was bundled up as it was supposed to be close to freezing that night.  We texted for a while and he said that he’d been thinking of me.  That’s sweet and all, but how am I to know if he doesn’t reach out?

He then asks me out on a date.  For December 16th.  Uh, that was 3 weeks away.  He said that all days off for his detail had been revoked due to travel plans.  I totally get that.  I guess a fascinating job equals a shitty schedule. I am supposed to leave town on the 15th for 3 weeks, but told him that I might be able to be persuaded to delay my departure.  He sweetly said that he would do his best to make that happen.

He did ask me to meet him for a late breakfast on Sunday (4 days away).  As I had plans already with a big group of friends I had to decline.  I did throw in a ‘you’re welcome to join us if you want’.  Being as I am meeting a group of 15 friends, I assumed that he would decline the invitation.  He did not.  He said great and that he was looking forward to it.  Okee dokee.

Today is Sunday Funday with friends.  As the last conversation I had with 007 took place via text on Tuesday and I haven’t heard from him since, who knows if he’ll actually show.  I guess I’ll know in about an hour ……..

 

FB Strikes Again

Filed under: bad dates,dating,internet dating,online dating,single,TD — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 8:38 am
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Well, not that I actually saw anything on FB, but someone who didn’t want me to be blindsided sent it to me.  There’s no way I could have seen it as I have just about everyone connected to him blocked.  Including him.  Once it’s made ‘Facebook Official’, it’s real, right?

TD and the Lunch Lady are engaged.  I honestly am not sure how I feel about this.  Aside from running into him at his daughter’s event a couple months ago for the most awkward 15 minutes of my life and his sending me some random text out of the blue about 6 months ago offering to do a vacation home swap (no clue if I even wrote about that but it was the weirdest thing ever) I haven’t spoken to him in probably 2 years.

As I’m still close to his kids, and his son’s girlfriend totally ‘get’s it’ and sees through all the misinformation that TD spreads, I seem to know a lot of what still happens in that family.  Yey me.  I guess I’m just trying to process this.  He used to tell me that the Lunch Lady was like a sad puppy dog that wouldn’t go away.  That he didn’t particularly care for her kids. That he felt sorry for her.  That he didn’t find her particularly attractive.  Then again, according to the message I got from one of his exes, he used to say that about me too.  I guess the difference is in knowing where you stand with someone and I never did.

He and the Lunch Lady dated for 2 years.  And then broke up for a year.  They have been back together only for a few months.  I guess she passed all the tests.  She never had to deal with the things that I did and always knew where she stood with him.  She is pure drama and he likes feeling like the hero.

I can’t help but wonder, and this is where everyone throws up their hands and screams at their phones/monitors, if I would have stuck it out, if it would have been me that he chose?  I wonder if she knows what he used to say about her?  I wonder if I hadn’t known what he used to say about me, if it would have been better?

Nah, being with him was destroying me.  Everything was a test.  Everything was a struggle.  Everything was a lie.  I always felt like I was the ‘backup plan’.  I probably was.  As was she.  He just ran out of options.  The Lunch Lady and I are polar opposites.  So this ends (for real) the TD saga.  I can’t honestly say if I still had ideas of him coming back to me after all this time or not.  I don’t think I did, but hearing this news did make my stomach sink a bit, so who knows.  Damn, emotions are strange.

I do wish them well.  No really.  Everyone deserves to be happy.  He just beat me to the punch……

Oh, and just to prove that FB is, in fact, the root of all evil, the ‘memory’ and associated photo that came up today was 5 years ago and of TD and I.  One of the best photos ever, might I add.😉

 

We Interrupt Our Current Programming…. December 2, 2016

Filed under: internet dating — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 8:55 pm

As it was rudely pointed out to me in a not so pleasant comment on my previous post, I’ve been writing this blog for several, okay many, years.  I have chosen to not update the name of my blog and that’s why I sit here, on a Friday night, typing a defensive post at the ripe old age of 49 under a blog entitled ’43 and Single’ ……

As I write this blog anonymously (or I hope I do), none of you really knows me.  You do know what I choose to share with you.  You also probably know (if you’ve been paying attention), that I usually add a dash of snark to my posts.  Is that how I am in real life or do I do it as ‘entertainment factor’?  I guess you wouldn’t know, would you?

To be told, however, that I need to “lower my expectations” and that since I’m no terrific package (paraphrased from the same shitty comment I got) that I am not going to get a “Brad Pitt” makes me wonder.  Do I so misrepresent myself on here to make it seem as though I am expecting the moon and the stars?  I assure you, I’m not.

I do find it sad that a stranger has told me that I need to lower my standards.  Actually I find it sad and funny.  I’m not a ‘list maker’.  I don’t have an ‘agenda’.  I don’t have exceedingly high visions of who my ‘one’ will be.  As a matter of fact, I don’t have a vision at all.  Not superficially, that is.  My taste in men spans an enormous range.  Tall, short (well, not TOO short), fat, skinny (oh wait, skinny is out), hair color, eye color, car they drive, etc…… None of that means a damn thing to me.

What DOES matter is kindness.  Honesty.  Shared interests.  Ability to have an intelligent conversation.  Ability to laugh together.  An ability to see a future together.  There’s no way that I would ‘lower’ my desires on these and I don’t think I should have to.  I don’t quite get the whole ‘lower your standards’ comment.  Sure, so I can have a mediocre future with someone who is probably as ‘meh’ about me as I am about them?  I would never do that to someone.

I do find it odd that this comment came after a recap of date #2 with 007.  Prior to that, I wrote about Repo Man (who I never met), Tilted Kilt (who was a bit of a moron and ended up choosing to unmatch me when I had to postpone our meeting and also had to explain why I didn’t want to go to an establishment where the women wear the tiniest uniforms ever).  There were the two men who were so NOT spectacular that we never even discussed meeting.  Before these posts I hadn’t written for a while.  A long while.  I hadn’t been dating.  No dating = no dating blog posts.  Who should I be living happily ever after with?

Just to put it out into the universe, and because apparently this comment completely insulted me, let me set the record straight.  I am 49 years old.  I have made good dating decisions in the past.  I have made bad dating decisions in the past.  I’ve even made HORRIBLE dating decisions in the past.  I’ve also put up with a lot.  I’ve learned from each of my past experiences and am constantly evolving (or at least trying to).  Since this same comment seemed to jab at my physical appearance  (thanks so much) as well as the supposed appearance that they believe I am expecting from my ‘one’ and the fact that I’m no great prize, let me set the record straight.  I am.  I am attractive, successful, have terrific friends, am kind, philanthropic and will always go out of my way to help someone.  I may not seem like it on here, but I’ve kinda got my shit together and have a lot to offer.  What I ‘expect’ in return is far less that what I bring to the table.

There is a entire contingent of ‘ones’ that I don’t write about on here.  These are the men that I’ve met, either via online or in person, that for whatever reason did not ‘match’ with that I am still friends with.  The ones that call and message and seek advice and insight from me because I’m ‘so cool’.  Ha.  These guys are my favorite.  And I don’t write about them because they are still in my life.

In case any of you are scratching your head and wondering what on earth I’m blathering on about, I have copied the comment below. I get to do that.  I realize that I have opened myself up to comments and opinions such as these by choosing to share aspects of my dating life, so my apologies if I am taking the comment wrong or getting worked up over nothing.  As I told the reader, everyone is absolutely entitled to their opinions and my bad if I’ve given the impression that I am anything like what this person seems to think I am, but there is a way to communicate with people.  Writing ‘not to be mean’ followed by a completely mean post, does not absolve you of being mean.

Not to be mean, but I’ve been reading your blog for years and it’s titled “43 and Single” but you’re almost 50 at this point and still no cigar. Maybe it’s time to stop being so picky and lower your expectations a bit. At your age, and admittedly being slightly chubby, even if still cute, youre not gonna score a Brad Pitt. I feel like you are more selective than what you yourself are offering, and have kind of always been, and that’s why you’ve gotten nowhere.

 

Date #2; Of Blue Men & Disappointment

Filed under: dating,dinner out,internet dating — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 3:36 pm
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So 007 locked down date #2 while still on date #1.  Go him!  He had paid for our original activity so I offered to pick up the check when we went to dinner.  He refused but said ‘you can get dinner next time’.  Good boy.😉

He only gets one day off a week from his fascinating profession and it happened to coincide with a show I wanted to see, so I asked if he would be interested in going with me.  He said yes and that he would get tickets.  As the tickets were anything but cheap and it was my idea, I refused and said that I would get the tickets.  After a bit of back and forth, he finally agreed on the condition that he would pay for everything else that night.  I readily agreed.  Did I mention how expensive the tickets were?

He had already warned me that he is perpetually late.  I, in turn, warned him that one of my biggest pet peeves is when people are late.  Er……… So he picked a yummy sounding restaurant to meet and had made a reservation.  I get there 5 minutes early and tell the hostess that we have a reservation.  Normal right?  Until she asks me what name it’s under.  I say ‘007’.  She asks, ‘what’s the last name’.  Uhm……. no clue.  Not awkward at all.

I am standing there, red faced, when he walks up to save the day!  And he was early!!  Too cute that he actually had arrived 20 minutes early as he was nervous about being late.  Again, good boy!

Dinner was good.  Conversation was a bit stilted but good.  We wandered around a bit before venturing off to find our seats at the venue.  As an aside, I did a LOUSY job at picking seats!  I can never decipher those little ‘maps’ that they show on ticketmaster.  Oh well.

We still had some time before the show started and somehow we started talking about birthdays and astrological signs.  Of course, I had to google his and read what his description said.  All good and fun, but a few seemed to be pretty accurate; both good and bad.  We did the same for mine.  We both had a good laugh and it distracted me from the little boy sitting on my left who was elbowing me non stop.

The show started.  We watched.  Sadly, the show SUCKED!  What a shame.  I was so looking forward to it but it was nothing like any of their previous shows.  Boo.  Anywhoo, we suffered through it.  When it was over he walked me to my car and we hugged.  He had tried to nervously hold my hand a few times during the show, but as I didn’t really react, he never followed through.  Kinda telling on my part, but we’ll see ….. I was leaving the next day for 10 days out of town, so we said we’d ‘chat’…….

As a very odd aside, the following week, while I was still out of town, my friends and I went to giant yard sale for charity.  On one of the junk tables sat 2 wood paintings.  On each was a single astrological sign.  They were sitting side by side and the only 2 that were there.  It was 007’s sign and my sign.  So I bought them. They were hideous and not my style at all, but it was for charity, right??

 

 

Reality Check November 30, 2016

Before you all two think that my entire dating life has turned around and is going swimmingly, I feel the need to remind you that this is, of course, ONLINE dating, so there will always be those clueless people that make you scratch your head and wonder how they have survived so long.  Here’s just a couple while I work on my next actual date post! *oooh, the suspense*

Tilted Kilt: chatted a bit on Bumble.  Didn’t have much in common but what the hell, right?  He suggested we meet.  I agreed.  He suggested that we meet at Tilted Kilt.  I disagreed.  For those of you not having had the pleasure of experiencing a Tilted Kilt, it’s sort of an upscale Hooters.  Except that the uniforms are smaller.  Much smaller.  And the waitresses’ boobs are lifted to just about 2″ below their chin.  He didn’t understand why I wanted to go somewhere else, so I explained, simply, that I am not a guy.  Duh.  We never actually ended up meeting.  No great loss.

Clueless: to recap, on bumble the girl swipes left or right to signify interest.  If you swipe right on someone who has also swiped right, you are able to communicate.  So I swiped right.  He apparently swiped right.  I sent a quick (and boring) ‘Hi, you came up as a match today so I wanted to say hello’ blah, blah.  He writes back and the conversation goes something like this:

him: huh, I don’t remember ever seeing you before or swiping right

me: that’s very flattering

him: oh, sorry, I didn’t mean that

him again: but I don’t remember seeing you at all

me: nice of you to apologize, but then you said it again….

mutual: unmatch …

There have been a few other ‘interesting’ matches, but I will save those for another day.  Stay tuned for date #2 recap with 007!

 

007 November 29, 2016

So now I have the ‘what if’ in the back of my mind regarding Repo Man.  That sucks.  What ifs always measure up (in my head) better than reality.  Super.

While I was texting with Repo Man, another interesting fellow started chatting me up on Bumble.  He was funny and tall and kind and had yet another fascinating job!  2 in a row with occupations that fascinate me?  That’s crazy talk!

Anywhoo, 007 locks down a 1st date pretty quickly and as my motto is usually oh crap, another 1st date ‘why not?’ I agreed.  He was very cute about it in not wanting to tell me anything about it.  Er, you all (the 2 remaining) know that my usual MO is to meet for a drink.  No fuss, no muss & a quick escape if need be.  007, however, had a whole ‘plan’ for the evening.  Okay, I’m game.

The one hint he tells me is to ‘wear comfortable shoes and bring rubber bands’.  Uhm, what?  I can’t decide if this is cute or just creepy and heaven knows I hate not being able to figure something out.  Is he going to drop me in the desert and make me follow a tracked course out?  Is he going to rubber band my mouth shut so I can’t entertain him with my snarky humor?  Is he going to spend the evening doing that annoyingly painful rubber band flicking thing?  I was so ridiculously confused by this that I actually googled ‘comfortable shoes and rubber bands’ to try and figure it out.  That was absolutely no help as it just took me to running shoe websites.  Damn.

The day of arrives and he finally tells me where we’re going but NOT why on earth I need to bring rubber bands.  Colored ones, you know.  I show up to where we are meeting complete with colored rubber bands and a suspicious attitude. He shows up (5 minutes late) and has a great big smile on his face!  He’s just a HAPPY good guy!  We had a great time talking and walking and learning about one another.  He’s very easy to talk to.  I’m just not sure that the chemistry is there.  We went to dinner after (look at me breaking all my rules!) and he locked down date #2.  I loved that.  No “will he or won’t he” internal monologue.

He picked up the check for both activities and we hugged goodbye.  There was a date #2 …. but I’ll tell you about that later.

Oh, and those rubber bands?  We made bracelets out of them!  How cute is that?!

 

Repo Man November 28, 2016

So one of the 1st men that I communicate with on Bumble (my new favorite hobby) is this darling guy that seems, at 1st, kinda nervous but also seems uber sweet in our communications.  I actually gave him my phone number so that we could text off of the app, which I don’t do all that much anymore.  I was pretty sure that he would not take advantage of my trust and send me a dick pic (which, at the ripe old age of 49, and years of online dating, I still haven’t been the recipient of) and he didn’t let me down.

We texted for several days and made plans to meet up.  As the universe likes to play tricks on me, it happened to be an uber busy work week for me, so I couldn’t meet until the following weekend.  He was fine with that and we kept chatting.

He sent me the sweetest message a few days before our scheduled meet date that he wanted to take me out to a nice dinner as I deserved to be waited on and wanted to know if Friday or Sunday would work best for me.  I chose Sunday.  Although it’s against my better judgement to meet for a meal at 1st (no quick get away), I really kind of liked this guy.  He had a darling personality, was very polite and it didn’t hurt that he’s cute as hell (at least in the pictures that I saw and that he sent).

I apologized for delaying our meeting so long (probably 2 weeks since we decided to actually meet up) and he said he totally understood as he’s self employed as well and knows how it goes.  Btw, I find his job kinda fascinating and was looking forward to talking to him about it.  Actually, I was looking forward to everything about meeting him.  You well know that doesn’t happen often either!

The day before we were to meet, on Saturday, he send a text that says ‘hi’.  Uh oh.  That’s not good.  He always sent long, interesting and entertaining text messages.  He proceeds to send that he really was looking forward to meeting me, but in the 2 weeks that I made him wait to meet me, he met someone else and since their 3rd date the night before ‘went really well’ (we all know what that means), he didn’t feel right about meeting me.  Damn, I missed getting myself in there under the 3rd date deadline with the mystery woman.  Guess I should have chosen Friday night instead of Sunday….

I wrote back that I was happy that he met someone that he liked, that I would never begrudge anyone for finding happiness, and that he knew where to find me if things didn’t work out with her.  I wrote that while I was happy for him, I was sad for me as I was looking forward to meeting him, but that I admired his honesty and I hoped that someone would do the same for me. He seemed a bit shocked and amazed that I was so cool and understanding about it.  Uh, are most online dating women not?

We chatted a while longer and he kinda debated meeting me anyway, but I don’t want to be ‘THAT’ girl, so I wished him well.  He wrote me the next day saying that, for what it’s worth, he thought about me a lot that day.  Uhm, don’t do that….

He checked in the week following to see if ‘someone had snatched me up yet’ (amazingly no!) and we chatted for a bit.  Solidifying that I really could have liked this guy (especially since the appeal of an unavailable man seems to attract me).  Alas, that was over 2 weeks ago and I haven’t heard from him since.  I thought about wishing him a Happy Thanksgiving, but opted not to.  I guess things are working out well for he and date #3 gal.

Darn.😉 Is it bad for me to hope that the current gal doesn’t work out?  While I wait, I guess it’s onto the next …………….