43 & Single – Heaven Help Me, I've Resorted To Internet Dating!

Ridiculous & Random Stories & Thoughts on My Experiences

Coming To Terms….. March 30, 2015

Filed under: internet dating — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 9:47 am

With the fact that I’m (sadly) closer to 50 than I am 40, I’ve opted to try a new dating site.  I can’t even bring myself to type the name as it just makes me feel OLD, but so far so good.  And by good, I mean that no one has sent me a penis picture or been exceptionally rude or inappropriate.  Then again, no one has stepped up to the plate and asked me out yet either.  Aside from the guy in Montana.  Huh.  As I don’t live in Montana, the logistics of that would be interesting…..

Before I catch all 2 of you up on the current goings on, let’s close out the past bachelors.  Literally.  The one that I had the world’s most painful phone conversation with cancelled on me for happy hour fairly last minute.  I was fine with that as I was sort of considering doing the same to him.  He said he wanted to reschedule and never did.  Oh well.

Match is still dismal as ever.  I did have someone contact me who, poor guy, has contacted me many times over the past years of me being online.  And me being me, I never responded.  I decided that since the poor man has basically chased me all over the internet for years, I should probably at least respond.  He’s a nice man, I’m just not sure if we have anything in common and as he’s had the same set of unfortunate photos up for several years now, I have no clue what he actually looks like these days.  I fear that I’m not attracted to him, but maybe his personality will win me over and make me look past the Friar Tuck aspects of his appearance?  As he hasn’t asked me to meet and he wants to talk on the phone first as well, I guess we’ll see.

I had another gent from Match basically ask me out off the bat.  He lives in another state, but is here for work a lot.  Uhm, okay.  Problem is, whenever I would ask him any questions, he would just ask me out again and not really answer anything.  As I was sitting at a spring training game this weekend with girlfriends, I opted to text him (as I kinda think he’d be better suited to one of them over me) and he was again NOT forthcoming with details but wanted to meet after the game.  Uhm, sweaty and sun burned is not really how I roll for 1st meetings, but I told him I’d let him know if we went out afterwards.  And never did.  And I haven’t heard from him since.

I have been communicating with several people on this new (old) site though.  One seems quite promising.  I guess being ‘only’ 47 on a site for 50+ year olds is a good thing?  We’ll see if anything pans out and you’ll all be the 1st (or 3rd) to know. ;-)


What My Future Holds……. March 15, 2015

Filed under: internet dating — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 11:59 am

According to the psychic I went to see yesterday anyway.   I walked in, a bit cynical (as I’m not the most ‘spiritual’ person in the world – go figure, right?) and the 1st thing she says that screamed out of her from me was about my business.  Well boo.  I mean, that’s great and all, but really?  I was hoping that romance or relationships or pretty much anything other than ‘business’ would be what is the forefront of my being.  Not to be.  She was all about way to make my company bigger and more successful while simultaneously creating more time for me to be, well, alone ‘me’.

She told me lots of interesting things about lots of aspects of my life, but let’s be real here, I’m really only interested in what my romantic future holds.  She actually saw TD as an interference (surprise!).  Knew that there was someone ‘sticky’ who still hovered just outside my world.  She told me that that situation would never (NEVER) be anything other than sticky.  Go figure.

When she finally got down to business, she asked me if I’d just joined a softball league.  Interesting in that no, I haven’t, but I have joined a bowling league.  Nope.  She was pretty sure it was softball.  Okay.  She says that although she doesn’t like to give specifics as she doesn’t want anyone to close off to other possibilities, she sees someone that either plays or played softball, who is successful in his business, who is tall and who will most likely be introduced to me by a friend coming into my life.  Being as I’ve waited 47 years for any friend of mine to ever fix me up, I’m not sure about that one but who knows.  She says that online dating, although she’s not sure that’s how I’ll meet Mr Softball, is good in that it will help me stop putting my ideals and expectations forward.  She told me that just because someone isn’t forthcoming with everything right away, doesn’t make it deceptive.  I found that interesting in that I don’t think I do expect everyone to be an open book right away, but I took it to heart anyway.

She told me a few other things that I neglected to write down (darn it), but all in all it was an interesting reading.  Of course I went directly downstairs to their store and bought lots of rose quartz and other assorted crystals.  Don’t judge, it certainly couldn’t hurt.  Oh, and I bought tickets to a spring training game……….what?  If nothing else, I could go for a hot dog and beer!  And maybe meet my destiny ;-)


I’m Here To Report…. March 11, 2015

Filed under: bad dates,dating,I suck,interent dating,online dating,single — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 10:04 am

That I really have nothing much to report.

I did have a dinner date the other night though.  No need to go getting all excited for me.  You know my rule about 1st dates/meet and greets/whatevers NOT being over a meal as there is no quick get away, but he invited me to an awesome restaurant in town and I accepted  I met him there, on time, and he was already waiting.  Nice touch to be early.  We had had some very nice message exchanges over the past couple of weeks but I wouldn’t say there was anything exciting about them.  As we work in the same industry, we had some common ground to talk about.  I did want to the chance to meet in person though, so didn’t hesitate when he invited me to dinner.

Unfortunately, there was just about zero chemistry between us.  He is nice enough but looks much older than his 47 years.  We talked about lots of things because really, that’s what I do.  Even though I know that there’s nothing on my end, I want to make sure that he has a nice time.  So we talked.  And talked.  And he’s got some long standing issues that even if I was attracted him, would be an enormous red flag for me.

As I always do, when I know I’m not interested, I offered to split the check and he declined.  Very classy.  As we parted ways, he gave me a hug and told me that he had enjoyed a nice dinner and nice conversation.  And that was that.

Now, about the guy I’m meeting tonight.  Uhm, not quite sure why I’m going.  I spoke with him on the phone Friday night as he states clearly in his profile that he won’t meet anyone without first having a phone conversation.  He wants to make sure that the other person is able to carry on a conversation.  Uhm, he should probably take that pre requisite out of his profile as it was just about the most annoying phone conversation I’ve ever had.  He was either drunk, overly tired or has a lisp.  An hour later of ‘to make a long story short’ and his talking incessantly about himself I had pretty much decided that he was the biggest misogynist on the planet and somewhat of an ass.  I politely told him that I needed to get some sleep and that was that.  Until he texted me the next day with ‘I am comfortable moving on to meeting in person’.  Seriously?  You are?  I’m not sure if I’m meeting him in order to see if he’s just as big an ass in person, or in the hopes that he’s not.  I’ve considered cancelling several times over the past couple of days, but I’m pretty sure I’ll go.  And also pretty sure I’ll be texting my friends what a douche he was 15 minutes later………


Update of the Week March 5, 2015

Filed under: bad dates,dating,internet dating,online dating,single — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 8:37 pm

I can’t quite remember what week it is that I’ve been back online.  They’re all so gosh darn fun that I’ve lost track.  Or blocked from my memory.  Or am suffering PTSD from.  One of those.

It’s actually not been that bad.  I’ve been busy with other things, so I just pop on when I can and either update my profile, switch my pictures around or answer a few of the soul searching questions on OkStupid in order to pop my profile back to the top.

OkStupid remains my main source of contact from guys.  Not that they’re all awesome, but there are a shit ton more of them contacting me on there than on Match.  Sure, a good percentage of them send the ever engaging ‘hi’, but whatever…..

I’m chatting with a couple of guys at the moment.  They’re funny and write good messages.  I do believe I’m also conversing with a scammer.  I wasn’t quite sure but something about his profile didn’t ring true.  When I got today’s response, I was pretty sure.  Not only did he not answer the questions that I had specifically asked him, but his entire message was one insanely long run on sentence.  Bad grammar is one thing.  Bad punctuation is another.  Actually using the incorrect phrase of ‘I WILL like to get to know you’ instead of ‘I WOULD like to get to know you’ is pretty much a guarantee that the guy isn’t for real.  I do sort of want to keep writing to see when/why/how he manages to fit in the fact that either he or his mom lives overseas and he needs $4,000 in order to escape the danger that he/his mom/his dog/whoever is in. ;-) I’m giving him one last shot though.  I wrote back today asking where he is from as he has an ‘interesting’ writing style.  We’ll see what he comes back with.  Who wants to vote it’s something asinine like North Dakota?

In other news, I was supposed to meet someone for a drink tonight but just wasn’t feeling it, so I cancelled yesterday.  Boo me.  I just wasn’t excited about it.

I ‘may’ have a date next week.  Then again, hell could freeze over.  Just sayin’. :-)

I did have a guy totally call me out on my bullshit yesterday.  I specifically wrote in my profile that I’d be much more likely to respond to a message than to a wink.  And then I winked at him.  He copied my quote and asked me if I seriously just sent him a wink?  Pretty funny.  I commended him on pointing out my hypocrisy.  And also actually reading my profile.  Let’s see if he responds.  If he does, I may be in love. <3

If he doesn’t work out, some chick just made me her favorite on Match.  Uhm, I haven’t given up on guys entirely yet, but good to know I’m able to hedge my bets!


Full Moons, New Moons and Teddy Bears February 19, 2015

Filed under: dating,dinner out,internet dating,online dating,TD — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 8:42 am

So last night was dinner with the girls.  Not MY girls, mind you, but TD’s daughter and her 2 best friends.  Who invited ME to dinner.  I thought we had agreed to just meet at the restaurant, but when I double checked, I was asked to pick them all up at TD’s house.  Er……….. okay.  It’s so very lame that I sit on the curb, in my car, and text that I’m there and to come out.  I wouldn’t appreciate that if it was done to me and although it’s not a proper date, I have always felt odd and fairly rude for doing so.  I decided, on the drive over to pick them up, that after a year of doing this, I would just go up to the front door and ring the bell like any civilized human being would do.  Even if TD was home.  Even if TD was home with ‘her’.  Chances were, he wouldn’t answer the door anyway and if he did, I would just say hello and if ‘she’ was there, I would introduce myself and be done with it.  The ridiculous amount of drama surrounding my mere existence is just stupid and I’d like to put an end to it.  As it turns out, I didn’t have to introduce myself to anyone as TD wasn’t home.

I walked into the kitchen and there the girls were waiting for me.  With a big ole’ box of truffles.  And a darling teddy bear.  And even a plant!  They were going to get me roses but had seen on FB (the root of all evil), that I had gotten roses for myself (’cause that’s just how I roll), so they got me this cool plant that matches the colors in my house and is supposedly (and hopefully) hard to kill.  How sweet is that?!  Totally unexpected and absolutely unnecessary, but very much appreciated.  We chatted for a bit and then off to dinner we went.

We sat and talked and laughed for 3 hours!  Some might find it odd that a 47 year old could even enjoy the company of 3 19 & 20 year olds for 3 hours (much less they enjoy mine), but I did.  And they did.  And when the check came, they practically wrestled me to the ground to pay.  I had always intended on paying for everyone.  The mere invitation alone was enough of a gift, but nope they insisted.  Such a great night!

As a lovely random weird uncomfortable interesting aside, we had switched tables twice in the bar (they like sitting in there, so who am I to argue) and we were joking about the tables we had yet to try out and all the empty bar stools left to sit on.  There were a few people at the bar; an older couple enjoying happy hour, a man in a red t shirt with his back to us about 2 feet away, a group of younger people.  You know, the random rockin’ happy hour crowd on a Wednesday evening at 6pm.  As we’re all chatting away we hear ‘huh, fancy meeting you all here’.  To look up and see ……………. TD.  He was the guy in the red t shirt sitting all of 2 feet from us for the last 20 minutes.  He didn’t see (or hear) us and we didn’t see him.  Even with the table switching and me getting up to get menus for everyone.  I walked past him 3 times and had no clue.  He chatted for a bit and we invited him to have a seat but he was on his way out.  Apparently he had forgotten that his daughter had told him we were going there for dinner.  Or not, who really knows.  He was wrapped up in paperwork of some kind so wasn’t paying attention to his surroundings (he did mention that the bartender knew exactly what he wanted to order before he sat down, so he’s obviously a regular (no judgment, just efficient I say) way to go Norm).  No hugs, no awkward silences, no stomach flips.  It’s been almost 6 months since I’ve seen him I think.  He looks good.  As always.  I looked okay myself.  When he was done chatting he said he needed to go and said goodbye to the girls.  And to me.  And then chucked me on the arm right before walking away.  Uhm, okay…. buddy…… way to end a non awkward moment a bit awkwardly.


And A Shitty Day Gets a Last Minute Bright Spot February 13, 2015

Filed under: internet dating — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 9:53 pm

2 posts in 1 day?  WHAT?!?!?  So this will be an odd post.  Yeah, I know; like most of mine aren’t, right?  It’s not really about dating, or about my being a whiny baby.  Or about my woe-is-me love life.  Okay, well, it is, but there’s more!

So after I posted my last pathetic dissertation on my day, I decided to hop onto OkStupid to check messages.  What could be better than digging through multiple online messages that say ‘hi’ or ‘you’re hot’ or ‘are you a good girl’ (that was my favorite if by favorite, I meant most disgusting) when you’re already feeling a bit down on yourself, right?  So I’m weeding through messages when a new one pops up.  And then another.  And to my absolute horror, I discover that somehow my ‘chat’ feature was on!  WTF?!  I HATE chat.  It creeps me out beyond belief.

As I was already pretty much creeped out anyway, I played along.  With 3 different guys.  One turned out to be a total tool *insert look of surprise here*, one was kinda ‘meh’ and one was, to say the least, a bit challenging to get any information out of.  Like pulling teeth difficult.  It was weird.  He’d write 1 sentence responses and sort of talked/wrote in circles.  2 of them asked for my phone number and 1 asked to meet (the tool, of course).  As I am attempting to be a bit smarter online this time around (smarter = realizing it’s not really worth it to jump in and meet for a drink until I’m sure I won’t want to stab them with a blunt object).  I said I don’t give out my number right away (ha) and asked to keep it to messages for a bit.  Surprise surprise, all aside from the tool were okay with that.  Will I end up meeting any of them?  Uhm, probably not.  The tool has already been shut down.  The shady one has been filed away for a rainy day.  The only possibility was a-okay with not taking things off line.  At least it kept me occupied for a while.

Well that killed about 2 hours out of my jam packed and uber exciting Friday night.  Sadly, when I signed off, I was still bemoaning everyone being on their way to ‘happily ever after’ and me being on my way to being the canine version of the crazy cat lady.  Boo.

I had been texting throughout the night with various friends so didn’t think much when my notification went off.  Until I saw who it was.  It was someone who has NEVER initiated going to do something.  It was someone who has NEVER asked me to dinner.  It was someone who wanted to bring 2 of their friends who I also love dearly and haven’t seen in over a year and miss seeing.  Nope, not a prospect.  Not even a guy for that matter.  It was TD’s daughter!!  I know this sounds lame, but I got a bit teary.  I have always been worried that I was sort of initiating everything and she was just going along so I wouldn’t feel bad.  I knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that if I stopped initiating things with her, that I’d never hear from her again.  I guess I was wrong.  I haven’t seen her in about a month and didn’t get to see her today when I was over as she had already left for work.  Needless to say, receiving her text thanking me for the Valentine’s Day present and inviting me to dinner with her 2 best friends absolutely made my day!!


What Not To Do The Day Before Valentine’s Day

Filed under: dating,I suck,internet dating,online dating,single,TD — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 5:20 pm

How did I spend my Friday, you ask?  Oh, you didn’t?  Well too bad, I’m going to tell you anyways.  I made the rounds of old boyfriends and old, whatever the hell TD was categorized as.  Not my most brilliant move.  Didn’t even really occur to me today what I was doing until I found myself, sitting on my bed and staring at the ceiling feeling uber sorry for myself.

I went to see ex bf #1 for very valid reasons.  We are friends.  He was very sweet to me during the recovery from my horrendous surgery last year.  He watches my dogs for me.  I watch his.  We haven’t dated for probably 7 or 8 years, but we’re still in contact and that’s a-ok with his new live in love.  They are very happy together and I’m happy (ish) for them.  I went over today to check on him as he just went through something pretty difficult.  We chatted a bit, I dropped off some food for him.  He gave me some supplies for my dogs and that was that.  He’s on his way to happily ever after and I’m on my way to………..i don’t know. :-(

Next stop was to take TD’s kids’ Valentine’s Day presents.  Yes, I know, they’re too old for that, but it makes me happy to do it, so I do.  As TD had already announced that he was headed to Vegas today, I assumed he had already left when his son told me to come over any time before 3pm today.  So I did.  And I walked up and rang the front doorbell.  A seemingly innocuous thing, but something I haven’t done in over a year.  I usually wait in my car, on the curb, for the kids and text them to come out.  I don’t want to make TD feel uncomfortable (or myself), so I just never get out of my car.  Anyway, his son his son’s girlfriend greeted me and told me to come in as no one was home (TD or ‘her’) and so I did.  We sat in the kitchen and chatted, I looked at a calendar that TD’s daughter had ordered for him full of pictures from last year.  Sorry, full of pictures of he and ‘her’ from last year.  Yeah, that kinda hurt.  Anyway, as I was leaving I saw a suitcase in the hallway and asked what it was doing there.  Apparently TD hadn’t left for Vegas yet after all, but most likely went screaming out the door when he heard I was coming over.  I immediately felt totally uncomfortable and said I needed to go as I had assumed (yes, well aware of what they say about assuming and yes, I felt like a huge ass) TD was already gone.

Driving home it made me sad to realize that TD does that every time I’m coming to the house.  Even though I never get out of the car, he makes a point to not be there.  Whether he does that for his sake or mine, I don’t know.  Makes me feel like shit though.  I go out of my way to steer clear and not cause waves, yet I always seem to be accused of causing waves.  Anywhoo, as I was driving home, I imagined TD coming home and getting pissed that I was inside the house.  In order to try to avoid a nastygram coming my way (or at least that’s what I told myself), I sent a quick text saying that I was sorry I missed him at the house and to have a great weekend in Vegas.  To which I got no response.  Go figure.

So basically, as I was laying in bed staring at the ceiling and bemoaning my single status, I had to face the hard fact of the matter that despite all the mean hearted things he’s said to me over the past year (2 really), I still have some pretty big issues regarding him.  As in, I might want him back.  Not that I ever had him, mind you, but I want to try.  Again.  Feel free to virtually bitch slap me for just posting that.

Disclaimer: I know that although I may want to ‘see’ again, I’m not stupid enough to think that he does.  Despite it all though, I’m pretty damn sure that if both ‘she’ and I were trapped in a burning building and he could only save one of us, it would be me.  Just another delusion to add to the pile…….. I will continue to try and navigate the uber defeatest world of online dating and really try to figure out if it’s him that I really want back, or that I just want someone.  Not ‘anyone’, mind you, but ‘someone’.  Someone damn special……..

Don’t you just love when I get all introspective and pathetic?



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