43 & Single – Heaven Help Me, I've Resorted To Internet Dating!

Ridiculous & Random Stories & Thoughts on My Experiences

2018 Is Going To Be A GREAT Year! January 20, 2018

Filed under: internet dating,online dating,dating,single,interent dating,bumble,texting,driking — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 8:19 pm

So I decided that 2018 was going to be a great year. That it was going to be MY year! Apparently no one informed the universe of that. Damn.

Anyway, I’m in a new town, back online dating, excited about what the future holds and being more positive about absolutely everything. I also decided to take myself out of my comfort zone. In all things. This could only go one of two ways, right?

I had a date on New Year’s Eve day with a man that I was VERY excited about meeting. Tall, handsome, clean cut, smart and great sense of humor. He suggested we shoot pool at a little place not far from me. As I hadn’t been there before, I thought that sounded like a great idea. We met in the afternoon as we both had plans later that evening.

We showed up at the same time and damn, he was every bit as attractive in person. Yey me! We got drinks at the bar and sat down. We started talking. Not sure if I’ve ever mentioned this before, but when I am nervous, I can neither remember what is said or what I said. It’s an annoying little quirk of my brain that likes to fuck with me every now and again. As we’re talking, I notice that he isn’t looking at me. Uhm, bad sign. Then I remember he told me that he is kind of quiet and doesn’t like talking about himself. Being the forgiving gal that I am, I chalk the lack of eye contact up to that. As I’m sipping my beverage, it occurs to me how FUCKING STRONG it was. Damn. I hadn’t been paying attention and please, it was one drink! Sadly, I hadn’t eaten that day and I could tell I was getting buzzed. As I liked him, didn’t think he liked me and was still nervous, I got us another round. Brilliant, right? Not so much.

We had a great time playing pool. Joked around, flirted and had fun. Included in the fun were a couple of neck rubs and pats on the ass. No, not by me. Huh, maybe he does like me after all. After a couple of games we sat back down and talked some more. By then, I was drunk. Lovely. Off of 2 drinks. Never happened before in my life, but it was too late to do anything about it. I could tell I wasn’t speaking clearly and I was mortified. I didn’t know what to say to the affect of ‘oh shit, I accidentally got drunk’ (see how stupid that sounds), so I just tried to do my best.

When it was time to go, he walked me to my car and gave me a kiss. And by ‘gave me a kiss’ I mean ‘had a full on make out session’. Classy. He’s a damn fine kisser though. Driving home I knew I shouldn’t have made out with him as much as I had, but this was almost 2018 and the year of my ‘switching things up’, right? I liked him, plain and simple. I liked him all the more being as he apparently liked me too. When was the last time that happened?

I promptly proceeded to obsess and overthink the making out in the parking lot at 6:30pm. I knew it was going to be a loooooong night inside my head, so went and met some friends for a late dinner. And proceeded to regale everyone with my story. Ugh, who knows what this man must think of me.

The next morning I was greeted with a ‘Happy New Year’ text from him. Yey, bullet dodged! At least until he texted me a few days later to come over and watch a movie ………………


Like Shooting Fish In A Barrel January 6, 2018

Filed under: Uncategorized — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 6:24 pm

So apparently I’m a hot property on cruise ships. It might be due to the fact that the majority of singles are over the age of 70. Or the fact that a tall blonde stands out amongst the crowd. Or the fact ‘vacation Grey’ is much more relaxed and much less neurotic than ‘everyday Grey’. Most likely though it’s in large part due to the fact that, since it is an enclosed vessel, that there is nowhere to hide 😉

So a short 3 months after moving to my new state, I felt the need to do some travel. A 2 week cruise may or may not have been part of the itinerary. A 2 week cruise, sailing from Europe, where the majority of the 4,000 passengers were either couples, retired, or WAY past retired.

I went to a singles mixer at the beginning of the cruise and opted out of actually ‘mixing’ with any of them. I made friends, had some laughs, ate way too much and then, low and behold, a handsome young stranger sat down on the lounge chair next to me 2 days before the cruise ended and the rest is history.

A good time was had by all. Thanks, in large part, due to the fact that he had an unlimited drinks package that we took full advantage of. It was fun & flirty and has been WAY too long since anyone has told me I was beautiful and wanted to hang out with me all day every day. Or at least the last 2 days of the cruise.

It was a vacation fling through and through. No numbers were exchanged, I have just one photo of the 2 of us, and it’s all good. I love vacations!!


I’ve Got A Plan July 18, 2017

Filed under: internet dating — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 8:15 pm

So, I probably (or probably don’t) owe you an explanation.  To those tried and true gluttons for punishment that still read my silly little blog every three months or whenever I opt to write a post updating everyone that I have no updates. Well, your patience has been rewarded.  Kind of.

Over the past several years I seems to have been trying to disprove Einstein’s theory regarding doing the same things over and over again and expecting a different outcome.  Turns out, he’s right!  Who knew?  Oh, well, everyone but me, apparently.  As I found myself getting a tad too complacent with all things Grey Goose related (dating, online dating, friendships, career, social life, etc….), I decided that it was time to shake things up a bit.  Yeah, yeah, I’ve said that before and my big ‘shake up’ was usually to try a different dating site.

As I have a significant birthday on the horizon (do the math, you can figure it out), I decided it was now or never to shake things up.  I had been talking about wanting to move for years but never had the guts to give up my business, my friends and all that was familiar to me and, essentially, start over.  Well I did it.  I really did it!  And I’m thrilled and excited and scared and nervous and hopeful and optimistic for the 1st time in way too many years.

I moved 2 states away.  I sold all my investment properties in my prior home state, walked away from my business that I worked so very hard to start and build 20+ years ago, said some very hard good bye’s to friends and family, sold a lot of my belongings, packed up the rest and moved.  As I was making the 2 day trek to my new home, I was in a bit of disbelief that I had just literally walked away from my old life.  Okay, driven, but you know what I mean.

I have a house that I love in a wonderful neighborhood.  I’ve met some terrific neighbors.  I had 2 existing friends that lived in said new town (1 has been amazing and 1 I have yet to see) and I know that I will make more.  It’s been an adjustment and the move itself was less than stellar, but I’m getting my bearings and excited to see what this new life of mine brings me.  I am officially unemployed and have no idea what I want to do career wise, but I’m not worried, I know I’ll find something and land on my feet.  Although I sometimes take the scenic route to get there, I always do.

I know that those overly literal folks that tend to pop out of the woodwork to bash and state the obvious and insulting will probably miss the entire point of this post by telling me that I can’t run away from my problems.  That I just moved them to a different geographic location.  To those people, I say ‘no shit’.  I didn’t run away, I am the same me as I always was, but I’m a better version of me.  An optimistic one.  A hopeful one.  A content one.  Will my dating life be any better here than it was there?  That remains to be seen, but I’m just not worried about it.

For those of you that ‘get me’, you know that going with the flow is not a strong point of mine.  That needing/wanting a plan with clear to follow footsteps is a big thing for me and my astrological sign.  That trusting the universe to take care of me has never been my ‘thing’.  My plan is no plan.  Really.  I AM trusting in the universe to lead the way.  I’m not stressed, I’m not sad, I’m not discontent.  I’m happy.  Truly happy.  It’s been a very long time since I’ve been able to say that and mean it.

Don’t worry that this blog will transform into anything than it always has been.  Funny daily happenings.  ‘Interesting’ dating stories.  Introspective and boring posts thrown in here and there.  The odd mention of TD (yuck).  Basically a slightly (or immensely) sarcastic spin on all things Grey Goose will continue.  I’ve unpacked my last box, put away all my old ‘clutter’ (figuratively and literally) and am excited to see what the future holds ……….


Deleted …. And, What Did You Just Ask Me? May 22, 2017

I deleted my last online profile.  Again.  I also waved goodbye to Bumble.  Yes, Again.  I have neither the time nor inclination to do the online dating ‘dance’ right now.  To give you an idea, here are the last 3 interactions I’ve had with online guys:

Bachelor #1: Hi, what are you doing tonight?

Me: Going to an outdoor concert with a group of friends, You?

Bachelor #1: I’m in Costa Rica.  Who are you going with?

Me: Oh, well you win!  I hope you’re having an amazing time.  I’m going with a group of friends that I go with every year.

Bachelor #1: Do I know any of them?

Me: What the fuck?! We’ve never met, how would I know?  Uhm, I have no clue if we have any friends in common

Bachelor #1: I know, LOL

end scene……….

Bachelor #2 is the one that I met last Monday.  He texts me Friday morning to see if I was in town this weekend, as I’ve been away the past 3 weekends.  I let him know that I actually AM in town this weekend!  And then nothing …….. nice.  The most annoying part is that, just for a millisecond, I allowed myself to get a little excited that he wanted to see me again.

Bachelor #3 texts me with ‘hello beautiful’ about every 3 days while making no effort or mention of ever actually meeting.  2 days ago he sent me a flower emoji.  Today he sent me a ‘thinking of you, Grey Goose’.  I will NEVER understand the ‘penpal’ mentality of so many people online.  If I want to text one liners with someone twice a week, I can do that with friends.  Why go on a dating site if you never want to meet?

So, for now, I will stick with getting my butt in gear for that big change that I mentioned a post or two ago and not worry about men.  Or boys, as the case may be….


Don’t Ask What You Don’t Want To Know… May 17, 2017

I’ve long subscribed to this way of thinking.  Also known as ‘bury your head in the sand’.  I’ve almost perfected it.  Almost.  Not always the best way to go about (or not go about as the case may be) things.  On my never ending quest to evolve and stop being such a whiny baby, I am trying to be an adult about some thing.  Just some.  No need to panic.

Remember Repo Man?  The seemingly great guy from Bumble that I never actually met?  The one who started a ‘relationship’ with (aka, slept with her) the day before we were supposed to meet?  The one who checked in on me the entire time he was dating said train wreck?  The one who, when he broke up with said train wreck, told me that he wanted to meet but wasn’t quite ready yet?  The one who, when he was ready, and after several phone calls, proceeded to cancel our 2nd date due to his dad being sick never to be heard from again?  Yeah, that one.

It’s been bugging me as to what ever happened.  Yes, I know, but I am apparently no longer the gal that didn’t give a shit what guys thought and knew that if a guy passed me up, that it was his loss and not mine.  Damn.

As neither of us ever unmatched the other on Bumble, we could both see that the other was still on there.  He even changed his profile photo about a month ago. What?  He’s right there, on my home page!  Anywhoo, today is the day I figured I would ask.  Couldn’t hurt, right?  Yes, I know “fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me”.  I always kind of knew in the back of my mind that he was playing with me.  That I was his Plan B.  I joked about it, until I realized it was true. Oh.  Shit.

So I texted him today asking what ever happened.  And he told me.  And although I know full well that it had nothing to do with ‘me’, it still made me feel like shit.  He apologized for being a flake.  He apologized for not contacting me.  He apologized for not following through.  He claimed that he didn’t want to take me on the ‘roller coaster ride’ that he was on.  I LOVE roller coasters!  Well, not the emotional ones.

He has been ‘off and on’ with his ex.  The ex that I counseled him on.  The one that he said was thoughtless and self-centered, yet gorgeous.  The one that he absolutely didn’t see a future with.  You know the 1st fucked up thought that came to my mind when reading this?  Well, why wouldn’t he call me during one of his ‘off’ times?  How messed up is that?! I know full well that I should thank him for not dragging me into his indecision, but instead I wondered what it was about me that made him (and so many others) decide that I wasn’t even worth exploring? Damn, I hate days like this ……



I Think I’m Dating A 13 Year Old Girl May 16, 2017

No, not really, but I knew that would get your attention. 😉 As is my new MO when writing a post, I justify my absence as ‘nothing interesting going on’.  This time, however, I have not written in a while because I have A LOT going on.  Big changes are in the works.  BIG.  Not ready to divulge the details as of yet, so for now, I will update you on the average 49 year old’s adventures on Bumble.  I have 3, count ’em, 3 whopping bachelors to fill you in on.

As the universe, and several select big mouthed friends have suggested (and by suggested, I mean they full on insult me and think nothing of it), I need to expand my horizons when considering men.  As I’ve explained umpteen times before, I am open to all sorts of men.  Tall ones, short ones, fat ones, skinny ones, cute ones, not so cute ones, quirky ones and just about every other option out there.  Oh, aside from incarcerated.  Or drug addicted.  Oh yeah, or smokers.  Sorry, not kissing an ashtray.  I really do care more about personality, kindness and intelligence more than looks.

Anywho, bachelor #1 is sweet as can be.  We have a lot of personality traits in common.  He’s smart and considerate and kind.  He also sends me at least one selfie a day.  Uhm, what?  I don’t understand that.  I don’t take, nor do I send, selfies.  As we’ve already met in person, I know what he looks like.  I can’t quite figure out the thought process behind this constant influx of selfies.  After the first couple, I responded with ‘cute’ or ‘love that shirt’.  After the 10th, I just don’t respond anymore.  It’s just weird.  I don’t know what to say.  They’re all PG, mind you, but still.  We met last Monday for cocktails and he was as cute and interesting in person as I expected him to be.  He was also every inch shorter than me that I feared.  As in six.  Six inches.  (*insert that’s what she said joke here) SIX INCHES shorter than I am.  Can’t do it.  He is almost literally half my size in every regard.  I hope he understood my ‘friend vibe’, but I fear he didn’t.  He even toasted to ‘new friends’ when we met.  That tells me he gets it.  The deluge of selfies and ‘good morning’ and ‘good night’ texts however, does not.

Bachelor #2 I think I am going to opt out of meeting.  He too likes to send selfies.  He too is shorter than me (but only by 3 inches).  He also seems exceptionally self involved and keeps telling me how awesome a friend and person he is.  Okaaaaaay.  Contrary to popular belief, I do actually think the best of people until they prove me wrong.  I do feel that people that announce certain traits of theirs are a bit disingenuous.  Why would you announce that you’re not a player?  Why would you announce that you’re an amazing friend?  Why would you announce that you’re very protective of all your 437 female friends?  Maybe it’s just me, but I think those that feel the need to announce how amazing they are, usually aren’t.  We also have a mutual acquaintance in common.  He thinks she’s awesome.  I think she’s a complete shit-show.  I’m just not getting a good ‘feel’ for this one.

Bachelor #3 I met last night and he is every bit as handsome as I had hoped.  He’s also every bit of his 6’2″ height.  I’ll tell you more about this one as I figure it out! 🙂


Karma or Just Common Sense? March 10, 2017

Filed under: beach,bumble,dating,interent dating,internet dating,karma,online dating,single,texting — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 4:50 pm

So, today is the day that *someone* decided that he just HAD to go to MY beachfront haven destination without 1) coordinating with me so that I could go at the same time or 2) asking me any sort of advice or tips (he’s not been in 10 years and I go twice a month).  As we all know, my inability to join him this weekend when he already well knew I needed to be in town earned me a 9 part ‘our schedules are just TOO conflicting’ break up text.

In direct contrast to my ‘norm’ of obsessing over it, blaming myself, trying to change his mind (yes, I’m just THAT pathetic sometimes) or sending a completely insincere “have a great weekend” text, I have done nothing.  None of the aforementioned things.  What I did do though, completely coincidentally, was to log into FB and see a post from someone stating that the wait times at the border are LONG.  As in more than an hour.  Which, of course, I would have warned him about as going on a Friday afternoon/evening is always a nightmare.

As he didn’t bother to ask my advice or opinion, he will be left to find out for himself.  And I couldn’t be happier about that.