43 & Single – Heaven Help Me, I've Resorted To Internet Dating!

Ridiculous & Random Stories & Thoughts on My Experiences

I Think I Can, I Think I Can…… June 24, 2015

I went out with a very nice man a couple of weeks ago.  We met for what turned out to be dinner.  I thought it was just going to be drinks, but whatever, a girl’s gotta eat, right?  He got there before me and texted to find out what I’d like to drink.  Very nice, right?  When I arrived he was already sitting and so was my drink.  Neither got up to greet me.  Hmmmm….. The cocktail was forgiven, but I think it’s just nice manners to stand and greet your guest.  Not a deal breaker as we just obviously were brought up differently, but it was in the file.

I sat down after a bit of an awkward delay (what?  I have never had someone NOT stand up to greet me before).  We talked easily.  He about his past relationships, his trust issues, his nomadic lifestyle and me about, well, not much.  I wanted to like him more than I did.  I just wasn’t attracted to him and didn’t think we had much in common.  Of course, this set my mind into overdrive wondering if it were one of those elusive situations where attraction grows the more you get to know someone.

We enjoyed a pleasant dinner and after about an hour and a half, we left.  He paid, so that was very nice.  He walked me to my car (again, very nice) and we parted ways.  He texted me later that night to say he had a good time and to ask if I would like to go out again.  I took a minute (or 300) to respond in that I wasn’t sure if it were worth it, but opted to give it a go.

I had a hugely hectic week, so it took almost 2 weeks in order to be able to schedule date #2.  That, in and of itself was a red flag for me because if I like a guy, I’ll do whatever it takes to make time to see them.  I didn’t feel the need, or desire, to do so with him. :-(

Our texts and phone conversations were always stilted and a bit awkward.  The ‘flow’ never seemed to improve.  He made a few awkward attempts to flirt with me via text (really?) and got a bit pouty when I didn’t pick up on it (truth be told, I DID pick up on it, just didn’t want to go there).  Anyway, about a week ago, he asked me if I’d like to go out on a date with him.  Strange considering he’d already asked, but I thought he was just being silly.  We decided on Thursday evening (tomorrow night).  A few days after that text conversation he asked me if I’d like to go out again.  Uhm…………. I sort of let it go and our awkward texts continued.  Until last night.  When he asked me if I’d like to go out.  WTH?  That would make 3 times that he’s asked me out for a 2nd date and 3 times that I accepted.  I responded last night with a ‘I thought we had plans for Thursday?’  To which he didn’t respond.

Another red flag is that I didn’t care that he didn’t respond when normally I would be over thinking the shit out of something like that.  Anyway, I woke up this morning and decided that it wasn’t fair to him to keep this going in order for me to ‘see’ if I could ever see myself with him.  I sent a very nice text letting him know that although I thought he was a terrific guy, that I just wasn’t sure that we were a good match, but that I really enjoyed meeting him.

He sent back a lovely message wishing me well, letting me know how much he enjoyed meeting me and sort of signing off pleasantly.  Oh wait, that didn’t happen at all.  He just never responded.

I can’t make myself like someone just because they like me, right?

 

One Potato, Two Potato, Three Potato, NO June 22, 2015

Filed under: internet dating — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 7:02 pm
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So I had a ‘meet and greet’ tonight.  Ugh, I hate that I have succumbed to online dating terminology and now call 1st ‘dates’ ‘meet and greets’.  Sounds so lame.  Anywhoo, we were to meet for happy hour at a place on my side of town.  He would be what is commonly referred to as ‘geographically undesirable’ as he lives across town.

He’s 6’6″ and looked to be a bit lacking in the hair department, so I didn’t think I’d have much trouble finding him (especially since I picked up my new ultra retro cat eye glasses today).  Little did I know that Monday night at this particular place must be half price if you resemble Mr. Clean.  The bar was filled with shiny topped tall men!  As I don’t mind a nice bald head, I had no issues with this at all.  As I looked around, I saw several that I was hoping were my date; I mean my meet and greet.

Sadly, my life is not a fairy tail and the one who stood up and approached me was not on my list of hopefuls.  He was nice enough, but I’m fairly certain he lied about his age (by at LEAST 10 years).  How un-surprising in the world of online dating.  We grabbed a table and sat and although I knew right off the bat that this was going to go absolutely nowhere, I didn’t want to be rude so made some chit chat, ordered a beer to his coke and proceeded to ask him a multitude of questions about himself so he wouldn’t be able to ask me any.

About 20 minutes in and after what was probably our 3rd uber awkward silence, I decided I was going to let him know that although I thought he was a very nice man and that I hoped he found someone terrific, I just didn’t think we were connecting.  He obviously had the same idea in that he kinda cut me off, said that he didn’t think we were a match and practically made a bee-line for the door.  Uhm, okay.  I was going to be polite about it at least.

As there was some terrific people watching there, I opted to stay, finish my beer and hang out for a bit.  When the waitress asked if I was doing okay, I said ‘sure, however I just had one of the quickest  and ill fated dates of my life’.  She said she was so sorry and ran away.  Really?  Even waitresses run from me now too?  A minute later she returned with a shot for me.  A yummy little grape concoction that she said was a ‘house shot’ that they offer complimentary for just such occasions.  Very sweet.  We laughed a bit, I thanked her very much and she said she hoped someone would do the same for her.  I totally would!  If I worked in a bar, that is.

Anyway, as I sat there with my shot and looked around the room, I seriously, for the umpteenth time, considered quitting this whole online dating thing and just going back to hanging out in bars (for happy hour, of course, as I’m old now). ;-) Or just growing old alone ………… *sigh*

 

How To Plan For Vacation June 5, 2015

Filed under: internet dating — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 12:01 pm
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Before you go getting all excited for me and my ‘awesome’ vacation, don’t.  It’s a family function.  And I have been guilted into attending.  Yey me.  Not.

Anyway, un-fun vacations require the same preparations as fun ones.  Pack.  Clean the house.  Arrange for Dog Sitters.  Wash sheets & Towels.  Respond to all e-mails.  Clean out the fridge.  Pack xanax.  Okay, I don’t actually have any of that, but might not be a bad investment prior to the next family non-fun-fest.

Most important of the preparations however is to update all 527 dating profiles online.  Okay, so there’s only 3.  3 that I haven’t logged onto in almost 2 weeks.  Aside from yesterday when I started chatting with a seemingly good guy who is moving here with his family next month.  Or so he says.  Anywhoo, I logged onto the sites, changed a punctuation mark or 2 in order to move my profile to the top of the heap and will now sit back and wait for all the communications from appropriate and wonderful men to roll in.

Or not.  I guess we’ll see when I get back!

 

Oops! June 3, 2015

Filed under: internet dating — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 4:41 pm
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Yes, that’s what was in the subject line of the e mail I just received from Match.  It apparently was in response the their prior e mail to me (which I didn’t even bother to open) that told me that no one was interested in me this week.  Uhm, thanks.  Glad I didn’t open the original as that might make me feel a bit like a loser.  Well, more-so than I already do some days.

My oops e mail let me know that I actually got 2 winks this week!  Yey me?  I think not.

I guess that’s what you get when you don’t log on for 2 weeks straight.

 

Peggy or Joan is the new Ginger or Maryann……… June 1, 2015

Filed under: internet dating — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 11:40 pm
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For the record, I think I’m a combination of both Peggy AND Joan.  A mixture of all their best traits and attributes, of course. ;-)

Anywhoo, I watched the finale of Mad Men several weeks ago when it aired and I LOVED IT!  And I mean LOVED, LOVED, LOVED it!

I know a Don Draper. The looks, the charm, the inner turmoil. He used to get upset with me when he would say everyone told him he looked like Colin Ferrell and I said he was more Don than Colin. I always told him he reminded me of Don Draper.  Although he physically resembles Collin Farrell more than he does Don Draper, he is, in every single aspect, Don Draper. Not John Hamm, the actor who plays him, but the character himself. He never understood that.

He is handsome and fit and perpetually searching. He has spent his life searching for happiness in other people. Being disappointed by other people. Looking everywhere but within himself to ‘fix’ things. He doesn’t think he’s good enough. He gets in his own way regarding being happy. I’m not sure he even knows how. He has flashes of contentment and peace, but I think they are few and very far between. He’s always seemingly searching for something, but instead of looking within, he looks elsewhere.

He’s got a good heart. I know he does. He doesn’t know that though. He thinks he’s bad. And unworthy. Ever since I 1st met him I’ve likened him to Don Draper. Having just watched the series finale of the show, I am convinced more than ever that I was right. He IS Don Draper.

He’ll never be happy until he finds happiness within himself. Until he stops creating drama and allows things to just ‘be’. He’s a good man, but an inherently sad one. He creates drama so that he can then turn around and feel that he is helping someone. I think it makes him feel important. Or needed. I wish he’d realize that he is important and needed just for being him. He needs to realize all that is good about himself and his life. He has so much to be thankful for.

No one can teach him this though. He always thought I was crazy when I would bring it up. He needs to figure it out for himself. The man that I always knew was an amazing person. The man that I hope someday finds his own inner peace and realizes that he is good enough.

The series finale ended with a shot of Don Draper sitting in nature (something he would never ever do), in lotus pose (another thing he would never do) and smiling. He gave away all he had. He alienated everyone who ever loved him. He gave away all of his worldly possession. It was just he, nature, yoga, morning salutations and he smiled. A genuine smile from within.  It was a pretty powerful moment.

I hope beyond hope that the Don Draper I knew someday finds this same inner peace and happiness. Although I am one of the people that once loved him and was pushed away, he deserves it. He would never admit that I was his ‘Cricket’, but he will always be Don Draper to me.

 

What Is It About Cats? May 7, 2015

Filed under: internet dating — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 4:15 pm
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Sure, cats are okay (they’re no dog, mind you).  They (can be) cute, fluffy, interactive and goofy.  Usually though, they’re just kinda, well, cats.  They do their own thing, on their own schedule and seem to like to be left alone.  I associate cats with someone not really committing to a pet.  You could never put a big bowl of food down and leave the house for a week with a dog, but I find that a lot of cat owners do this very thing.  Because they can and it’s easy.

Now before all you cat people get up in arms, I realize I am making a HUGE generalization here.  You should know by know that’s kinda my thing. ;-)  There are some awesome cats out there as well as some awesome cat owners.  I just find it a little Norman Bates-ish for a single man to own cats.  Not that they go around killing people in their showers, but in that I always think they spend lots of time at home.  Alone.  Petting their cats.  And talking to their mothers on the phone (dead or alive).  But that’s just me.

Anyway, I’ve come across a LOT of profile pictures with men hugging their cats.  And they use them as their main pictures.  It’s just weird.  Today I even saw one that looked like a total professional pictures and the man was not only holding his cat up next to his face, but was also wearing a sweat band on his wrist.  As he wasn’t dressed in tennis garb, I have no clue why anyone would wear a white terry cloth sweat band with a dress shirt.  Sure, I live in a very hot climate, but I feel their are better ways to handle a sweat situation.

Although my list of things NOT to pose with for an online dating profile seems to be ever growing (dead fish, dead animals, a crotch rocket, a hooker, a convertible corvette to name a few), I do believe I’m going to have to add cats to my list.  At this rate I’m going to rule out every guy in town.  *Sigh*.  Maybe I just do this as they’ve already apparently ruled me out …..

 

Fairy Tales and Delusions April 30, 2015

Filed under: internet dating — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 2:29 pm
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Instead of demanding my phone number like that other douchebag, I had someone politely request my number after just 2 messages several days ago as he didn’t like to communicate on dating sites.  I get that.  There’s sort of a ‘big brother is watching’ feel to it.  As he asked so nicely (and was a total cutie in his pictures), I gave it to him.  And he actually picked up the phone and called me!  What a nice guy!  We talked for over 2 hours.  We actually have a lot in common and have been texting back and forth.

We are meeting for a drink tomorrow night (I’m writing this in advance and not actually posting it in case something goes horribly wrong …….. or right) and I’m actually nervous.  He’s a 6’2″ red head.  I love me a ginger!  He’s also very physically active and in shape.  Sadly, I am far from that right now.  I am honest in my profile and with my pictures, but I still fear that he’s going to take one look at me and run away.  While I’m far from a lazy sloth (most days), since my stupid surgery and repeated rounds of medications that do nothing but make me gain weight paired with my inability to exercise, I’ve certainly got more ‘padding’ than I ever have before.  He knows about all of this, but I still can’t help but wonder if someone like him would really be attracted to a ‘fluffier’ than normal me.

So we met yesterday and we’re running off to Europe together over the weekend.  It’s love!

Okay, not really.  Here’s how it really went.  He showed up and although I was a little bit disappointed in his appearance (he’s more skinny than built), I still knew he was a nice guy, so why not.   We sat and chatted and he looked everywhere but at me when he talked.  Uber annoying, but when I asked him about it, he said he does make eye contact when talking.  Okaaaaaay.  He was a bit opinionated and negative when he spoke, but I chalked that up to being nervous maybe?  Anyway, we had an okay time but as he announced, right off the bat, that he was taking his kids out to dinner later, I kinda got the hint.  We hung out for about an hour or so and he walked me to my car, gave me a hug, told me to keep in touch and even opened the car door for me.  Nice touch.  As I drove home I wondered if it was even worth giving things a 2nd chance just to make sure there was nothing there.  Before I could even decide if a 2nd date would be warranted I got a text message saying that he wasn’t interested.

Huh.  It’s a pretty crappy day when guys I’m not even sure I’m interested in tell me they’re not interested in me…… :-(

 

 
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