The Life & Times of a 54 Year Old Online Dater

Thoughts on My Experiences In Search of Love & Companionship, 10 Years Running

Guilty Conscience November 16, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 8:47 pm
Tags: , , ,

Alright, alright, I’ve been keeping a secret.  As we’re all friends here (all 3 of us), I wanted to come clean.  Now, before you all get your collective panties in a wad, this is no great secret and I wasn’t going to say anything as I doubt it will come to anything and then I thought, uh, hello dumbass (me) isn’t this why you have this blog in the 1st place?  To entertain everyone with my craptastically bad luck (and less than stellar dating style)! 

So I have been exchanging highly lame and overly boring e mails with someone from *gasp* Match.  He seems nice enough and claims not to be much of an e-mailer, so he sent me his number last night to call him.  Guess what I did?  Go ahead – guess!  Yeah, nothing  ……. you see, I am sort of in love with another right now ……… i just got a new phone, a smart-phone!  A phone MUCH smarter than I could ever hope to be, so I pretty much don’t even know how to answer it at this point, but I digress …

Anyway, as I was playing with my new beloved and attempting to watch U-Tube videos of my new most favorite comedian 😉 I remembered that I told ‘him’ that I’d call tonight so did.  Uh, yeah, he answers VERY suspiciously, like he thought I was going to be a telemarketer or something!  Okay, so here’s how the convo goes:

him: *nervously* hello?

me: hi, it’s me, from match (makes me sound like an even bigger loser than i already am)

him: oh, uh, uh, can I call you back?

me: sure no problem

click ………

Went well, doncha think? Then he sends me a text, very romantic, that says ‘Hey girl, sorry about that, my manager is chewing everyone out’ …. uhm???? Okay, it’s 8:40pm, so I’m wondering which retail establishment or Fry’s Superstore he’s working at for one, and then I wonder what sort of individual refers to someone they haven’t even met as ‘hey girl’ …… of course, i pulled out my internet douche-bag to english dictionary to find out that he probably doesn’t even remember my name from the phone call held 2.7 minutes before ……. ahhhh, i’m feelin’ special now! 

Huh, wonder if I can think of a reason to go back to the car dealership tomorrow?

Oh goody ~ here’s your update on the latest text : “I want to talk to you.  We have a meeting at 5:45 tomorrow and of course……guys are screwing up, and we get chewed” …………. yeah, i’m losing interest quickly.  Is it bad that the best I can think of at this point is that at least none of the words in his text messages were misspelled?


2 Responses to “Guilty Conscience”

  1. I REALLY need that internet douche-bag to English dictionary, but maybe ignorance is bliss. What does it say about the ‘shirtless picture taken in front of a fireplace’ (probably under the same chapter as ‘picture in front of your Corvette’)? And who the hell is the photographer for such things? It certainly isn’t some random candid photo from your collection. Sigh. At least you’re trying.. I can’t even muster the energy to respond any of the three people I’m talking to now – and that’s still in the e-mail stage – forget about actually speaking on the phone.

    • Oh, Oh, I know that one!!! I have it memorized! The proper translation for said photographs is ‘Hi, I have a tiny little penis, hopefully you won’t notice’ .-)

      It’s tough to keep plugging away, but there’s got to one great one out there for us, right? And hopefully that means one for each of us and not just one between the two of us ……. 😉

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