43 & Single – Heaven Help Me, I've Resorted To Internet Dating!

Ridiculous & Random Stories & Thoughts on My Experiences

Alpha Male Is Apparently Code For ‘I’m A Big Pussy’ April 19, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 9:56 am
Tags: , , ,

Ahhh, never a dull moment.  So I get a text last night from TT hoping I had a great day & a great night and that he’s looking forward to Wednesday.  I don’t respond.  As I tweeked my back and was/am in a lot of pain (yes, I know, I’m an old fart).  Here is the text exchange that happened this morning:

Me: Hey TT, hope you had a great night.  Mine wasn’t so great.  Threw my back out.  No clue if I’ll be able to move like a human by tomorrow or not.  May need a raincheck. (as I couldn’t quite imagine me sitting on a couch, fending off his date #3 rule book moves like this)

Him: I was getting the vibe that you weren’t interested and kind of expected this.   I hope your back gets better and I wish you the best of luck in your search.  (WTF?!?!?)

Me:  Are you kidding me?  Way to get the wrong vibe.  For the record, I don’t kiss guys that I’m not interested in (okay, so that was sort of a lie) and don’t have an issue being straight up with someone.  If you weren’t interested you should have just told me.  I misjudged you. (thrown in purely to make him feel like shit).

So here’s the thing.  Sure, I wasn’t certain about TT, but was more than willing to give him a little more time, but for him to jump to a conclusion like that sort of makes me think he’s some insecure pussy.  Honestly, I was pissed.  Well, it apparently took Mr. Alpha Male about 25 minutes to try to formulate how to back pedal on this one as I just got:

Him : I apologize if I misjudged you

Him: And in fact, if I wasn’t interested I wouldn’t have told you that I was looking forward to Wednesday night

So here’s the thing.  During the movie he had his hand on my leg.  I didn’t remove it.  During the movie I had my hand on his knee.  He didn’t remove it.  He kissed me during the movie and I didn’t gag.  He kissed me after the movie and I didn’t gag.  What ‘impression’ did I give him that I wasn’t interested (unless of course, he’s reading my blog).  Erm, no clue what to do now.  I’m sorta pissed that he would ‘assign’ an underlying meaning to me.  Do I want to go out with some guy who needs constant reassurances?  How exhausting.  I haven’t responded back and am not sure that I will.  I was still trying to weigh the pros and cons of him (nice, i know, but that’s what I do) and he throws this pussy move in there.

Thoughts?  C’mon Steve & Thomas and everyone else ………… 😉 Help an invalid out here.

Advertisements
 

23 Responses to “Alpha Male Is Apparently Code For ‘I’m A Big Pussy’”

  1. kayisacute1 Says:

    if there was something there, even if it wasn’t on the surface, you wouldn’t need to pro and con him. That normally happens when determining a relationship or even a bike ride but not another date.

    The fact that he told you he was an Alpha Male, proved he wasn’t and you will probably spend the duration of your dating relationship with him reassuring him that you like him. Not to mention the questions (are you see anyone else, are you riding any new bikes and have you had any slumber parties). It’s draining and annoying.

    • Grey Goose, Dirty Says:

      Kay! Where the hell have you been?

      I know you’re right. You also know that I ‘pro and con’ the hell out of everything in my life 😉

      He’s certainly thrown out every single NON Alpha Male vibe in the universe so far ……

  2. Hi GG. How about just being honest? Thats what I would do … say something like.

    Hi TT. I do like you, I am interested. I really threw my back out. If you would like to come over to my house and make me some dinner? I can shout to you from the living room as you whip us up something… If you don’t like this option, I’m open to suggestions.

    Throw it back on him to suggest something to do while you are in your painful condition. Also, when you get him to the house (or wherever), ask him what he meant by “signals of uninterest”…

    Men are such sensitive creatures (yes, I’m in a good mood today)…

    • kayisacute1 Says:

      IDK if I’d have him at my house with my back out.

    • Grey Goose, Dirty Says:

      Paula, I’m very protective over letting people know where I live (plus it’s easier for me to get up and go from someone else’s house than to try and get them out of mine) 😉 so he difinately will NOT be getting an invite over here, but I may throw it back at him as a ‘gee, not quite sure to process this, so what do you propose?” (and then if he says some pig-ish something or-other about a full body massage or backrub, I’ll just tell him to fuck off. 🙂

  3. Surrey gal Says:

    I think that he may be insecure. He probably thought that you had some time to think about your date and although you liked him, you had second thoughts and you might have changed your mind about him.
    But I’m not a guy, so I don’t know.
    Those smses tell me that both of you are kind of interested, but not sure completely, and both of you would like to do the second date to find out which way it goes.

    • Grey Goose, Dirty Says:

      I think he is too Surrey gal, but I wish he would have just said that instead making the stupid ‘alpha male’ claim ad naseum ….. still not sure what i’m going to do ……..

      oh, and this would have been date #3 ……. #2 was the one to the movies and dinner 😉

  4. Thomas Says:

    I must admit, i didn’t have anything against TT, but ater reading his response, i’m not sure if he’s not damaged goods. if he thinks that he can “figure” you out, then apparently he’s doing a poor job. I think he should have just chilled and let you breathe for a while and make a few decisions without him pushing for an agenda… i have found that being patient with a girl pays dividends….just my 2 pennies worth, but honestly…too many issues too early in the game…he may be a control freak…he’s showing some signs here…

    T.

    • Grey Goose, Dirty Says:

      Thanks T. I’m not sure what to think at this point. All I know is that he’s aggravated the shit out of me. I’m not a big fan of people who think they ‘can figure me out’ because honestly, I haven’t even been able to do that for myself yet 😉

      I’m not sure if he’s a control freak or insecure or paranoid or what …. I may just have to let this one go ….. I’ve got too much going on right now to have to worry about making sure he feels ‘okay’ all the time…..

      • kayisacute1 Says:

        let’s face it GGD, even if all you had to do was pick your nose and scratch your ass, you wouldn’t feel like “checking in on his feelings” all day, everyday. In the beginning it’s supposed to be butterflies in the stomach and giggling. Jokes and inappropriate touching. The beginning isn’t supposed to be ppl “reading” folks and “jumping” to conclusions. If he’s doing that now, what is he going to be doing 10 months from now. It’s my experience ppl become worst when they become comfortable. They tend to put their best foot foward at they beginning, if this is his best, I hate to see his worst.

      • Grey Goose, Dirty Says:

        Thanks for breaking it down for me like only you can do, Kay 😉

  5. kayisacute1 Says:

    I am a Military Brat, we (especially the girls) have a certain way of viewing men. When you’re surrounded by Alpha types you have a problem accepting any other type. I have friends who aren’t, love them to death but I could never see myself being with one of them or raising a family with one. Alpha’s get a bad rap, they are the ones accused of being controling and abusive toward women. On the contrary, Alpha’s have no need to assert themselves or be possesive because they already “know” they are in control of a the situation. They know they can’t control others or their surrounding, so they control themselves. You can’t “force and Alpha male to do anything.”

    That guy is the type that has to constantly chk and makes sure you like him all the time because he’s insecure. He “needs” to know you like him. Anytime you aren’t jumping up and down about being with him he believes it is because you have lost interest and views it as rejection. You might want to get that guy a dictionary to look up what an Alpha Male is and cancel your subscription to his “issues”.

    PS. I am hurt that I wasn’t invited to AZ to hang out with you and Click while you were getting lost and drunk or drunk and lost 😦

  6. everevie Says:

    Wow Kay…you might have just tapped into something with me. I’m a military brat too…and I’ve always been looking for the kind of guy that just “knows he’s in control” without being a dick about it.

    Anyhow…back to Grey. 🙂 I don’t think TT’s committed a sin worthy of not trying for a 3rd date. But, since you aren’t invested, I’d take it as an opportunity to be really direct with him…and ask why he thought you weren’t interested…and tell him you don’t want to be figured out.

    • Grey Goose, Dirty Says:

      Or I could just never respond to his last text and move on to the next. 😉 I’m really not invested and aren’t all that beoken up that I’ll never see him again. If he chooses to try to get in touch and apologize for being such a douche, then we’ll see…..

  7. Tiny Temper Says:

    He sounds really insecure to me. The whole Alpha Male thing is how he’d LIKE to be, I think. He’s immediately jumped on the defensive, which suggests he isn’t confident of himself and will possibly need constant reassurance.

    The question I’d be asking is this: do I have the energy or the inclination to deal with a) constantly massaging and reassuring him, and b) to monitor everything I say in case it gets mis-construed?

  8. […] ex-husband…and turns out he’s quite dorky. Normally I’d insist on an Alpha Male but there is something really funny and refreshing about this guy’s complete lack of game. […]

  9. […] was fabulous Alpha Male from last month.  Funny, I wouldn’t think Alpha Males winked.  Oh well, Alpha Males also […]

  10. KissMyArse Says:

    There’s a reason you’re 43 and single. Ever think that it’s YOU’RE the problem, not the man? Just by seeing how you write you come off as someone who doesn’t act your age. You aren’t in your 20’s anymore. Time to grow up, grow a pair of ovaries and you’ll be lucky if you find a man! 🙂

    • Thanks so much for the comment. I am fully aware that I am the only common denominator in all of my dates and do not by any stretch of the imagination consider myself ‘blameless’ in all of this. I am who I am however, and will never change, so I am still searching for the one that can handle me. The good, the bad and the ugly. And if you’d read ahead, or read more than just a few of my posts, you’d realize that I fully acknowledge this. And I’m now 44. 😉


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s