Or, more accurately, I could have titled this post Finger Foods Is A Douche. They’re both pretty damn accurate.
Okay, I told you all how Finger Foods is part of a group called ‘hashers‘ that are really funny & fun and whatever. No, they’re not druggies you big dorks, they’re just ginormous drinkers. My kinda peeps! Anyway, Finger Foods was ‘hosting’ a hash on Saturday afternoon that I promised I would attend. Then I got a better offer. Taking Click to the airport. 😉 As I still wanted to be a part of the hash and show my support to Finger Foods, we decided that I should be to his place at 5:15pm when the hashers would arrive (after running a 6 mile mis-marked trail). I would meet them across the road from his subdivision for the ‘circle’, which is held directly after the run part of the hash (where they drink throughout, btw) where they gather, give each other shit and basically just drink some more. Perfect. I get to miss the ‘run’ part, but partake in the ‘after-hash’. Yey me.
So I get to Finger Food’s place as told at 5:15pm. Park, go into his house (he left it open for me), grab a beer and head across the street to wait for everyone to arrive. And wait. And wait. And wait. Okay, by 5:45pm my beer was long gone, I was getting a bit worried/pissy and Finger Foods wasn’t answering his cel. ‘Cause the big douche left it on his kitchen counter. So I go back to his place, refill my beer and head back out again to the field across from his subdivision. Now imagine this process continuing on for the next 2 hours. Walk, wait, drink, sit, return, drink more, repeat. All the while, no less than 10 cars have pulled over to make sure that I was alright and didn’t need a ride, food stamps, a drunk tank, whatever. How fucking embarrassing. What? These people have never seen a grown woman sitting on the side of the road for 2 stinkin’ hours? 😉 By 7pm, I was fairly livid (and the guard at the gate was considering throwing me off the property by this time -not really), so I went back to the house, had another beer and decided that since the hash started at 2:30 that these poor people were going to not only be drunk and exhausted when they finally arrived but starving as well. So I prepared all the food so it would be ready when everyone got there (see, I can be a good friend – when I’m not being a total bitch). As I am writing a note letting FF know that I was leaving they all walk in. At 7:45pm. Exactly 2.5 hours late. FF had screwed up the trail and not only was everyone drunk, hungry & exhausted, but pissed as well. Ooopsie.
I helped to take all the food out to the pool, made sure everyone got fed, talked to a few of the cuter hashers, was amazed that so many people remembered me from the hash I was at previously over a month ago and then took off. Not only was I aggravated that I wasted most of the afternoon, but pissed that I missed out on meeting up with the young snarky redhead (and yes, his business partner) and all around just tired from my 3 consecutive nights of drinking way more than any self respecting 43 year old should. Thank goodness I’m not self-respecting, huh? 😉 Anyway, Finger Foods was sooo appreciative of my help that he offered to take me out to a fancy schmacy dinner on Tuesday. To which I replied in a ‘hell yeah’ fashion. I’m meeting him at 7pm. 🙂
I truly am a food whore.