43 & Single – Heaven Help Me, I've Resorted To Internet Dating!

Ridiculous & Random Stories & Thoughts on My Experiences

Why I Suck, Reason #873 April 22, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 5:36 pm

So sometimes, I’ll admit, I get a little big for my britches.  No, I don’t mean literally as I won’t fit into my pants , well actually i guess that does happen sometimes, but on occasion, rarely (is this the longest run-on sentence ever?) I get a little bit cocky.  About having 2 different sets of guys to meet.  In the same night.  And usually this can lead to no good.

Case in point:  I was supposed to meet Lil’ Red tonight for the 1st time.  As I still hadn’t heard from him this morning about meeting up, I had decided to tell him that I already made other plans.  Needless to say, when he texted me at noon to see if we were still on for tonight, I reply ‘sure!’.  Ugh, I suck.  Anyway, in the previous post I ranted about his love of calling me a friggin’ cougar (boo) and my bitchtastic text.  Could I have been nicer or more diplomatic?  You bet.  Was I?  Hell no.  In the end, it comes down to the fact that although I think he would be great to meet and a lot of fun, it most likely would never turn into anything serious (yeah, i know, that anything ever does with me ;-)).  Anyway, when last I blogged to you (loser, party of one?) I had not heard back from him after my snipey text.  Well he responded.  With this:

“E, I was attempting to have a little fun with you.  I thought we were bantering back and forth.  The cougar thing was said in jest (apparently all 150 times) not mean to to degrade or berate you by any means.  How about let’s hold off on having that drink tonight … but maybe we’ll see each other around town sometime (uh, right).  If you’re interested, I think you’d be a good match for my business partner.  Hope the rest of your day is great!”

Er, okay, no biggie on him blowing me off.  I sorta deserved it.  I was rude.  What’s up with him trying to set me up with his business partner though?  Looking back, sorta thinking that was his plan all along as remember last week when he wanted me to meet he and his business partner out for a drink?  I guess he’s the internet dating version of a wingman.  I made nicey nicey with Lil’ Red, apologized for being a bitch, and told him that if he thinks his business partner would be a good match for me because he’s really old, he’s in big trouble.  I am presently trying to find out why he thinks the nameless business partner would be a good match for me.  Is he an ass?  Is he socially retarded?  Is he the opposite of an alpha male?  Who knows?  I’m easy though (no, not that way as my dry spell clearly shows), so what the hell?  If he wants to set me up, sight unseen, then er, god help the business partner. 😉

So that’s the end of plan #1 for tonight.  Onto plan #2.

Was going to meet Finger Foods and one of his (cute) friends out for happy hour tonight.  Finger Foods told me on Tuesday where they were going and at what time, but being as he’s such a tremendous flake, I needed to reconfirm.  So I text him today.  Okay, back up, so I, wanting to play cool and collected and nonchalant, waited until 4 fucking o’clock to text him to see if he and ‘friend’ were still going to happy hour and if so, would it be okay if I joined them.  Yeah, I haven’t heard back.  I don’t trust that he’s where he said he would be enough to just ‘pop in’, plus it’s across town.  Great.  I have effectively fucked up 2 plans tonight.  I’m outta options.

Well, that’s not entirely true.  I could head to the sports bar down the street to see what sorta trouble I could get into there or I could just go to the store and happy hour at home.  Damn I suck.  Oh, and all my friends suck for being married too.  Damn them!


Oopsie Finger Foods just texted …………..gotta go! 😉


10 Responses to “Why I Suck, Reason #873”

  1. So you suck and you get cocky. I do not understand why men are not beating down your door.

    Plus, you can get your foot in your mouth. I still want to see that.

  2. everevie Says:

    Oohh…FF did call? Hope you’re out having drinks with him and his cute friend as we speak!!

  3. Surrey gal Says:

    You don’t suck, he sucks. And I confirm what I had written in my previous comment – f..k him.

  4. The T Says:

    As your friends, I gotta say a couple of things… I have taken great strides in reading and bringing back details of your endless cycle of dating-ish events… are they really dates? I would hope not…it’s almost like you’re one of the boys the only difference is you’ve got these beautiful tiddies (of which I would like a gratuitous full-on naked shot so i may judge them accordingly for the sake of your literal translations..) Damn you libido, you’re bringing me off track AGAIN…

    Ummm where was I? oh yeah… you have a central theme… you already know it but me being the captain obvious that i am would like to reiterate it…. You’re looking for love..and you’re looking through stacks of men, some you like, some you don’t yet you still hang with all of them…near daily… it is an endless turntable of not really dating, but simply hanging out and as you would like to say…being bitchy…

    I am careful here…this is a sincere effort from someone who IS your friend…. have you thought about being less bitchy during these things? Most of us men like women for a lot of reasons, but being around someone who is bitchy isn’t one of them. It is a central element that we all look for in a girl….nice tits, great personality that indicates well-being and happiness… If you’re not happy, then at least you’ve got great tits…(still need pictures)….

    The following is a hypothetical…..it has nothing to do with any of the weird fellas that you make fancy name tags that are humorous….

    I ponder what you’d do if someone else asked you to be an actress for one evening….with a guy you didn’t know…and actually planned the experiment…. placing you in a simple sun dress, meeting a man for a really nice dinner at a place where people love to smile and drink some wine, and the director was far in the distance calling the shots from an ear-piece, just telling you to act sweet…. at the end of the night, would this guy look at you as someone he would want to date over and over? I bet he would… of course…it’s just an experiment in thought…but hey, i’m a guy…what would I know?

    Yeah…fuck T and his out of date ideas…damn serial womanizer…. oh shit… there for a second, I was a part of the flash mob….


    • Grey Goose, Dirty Says:

      You better grab a cocktail for this one T as I take GREAT ISSUE with several things that you have written:

      I have no clue what you’re referring to as my ‘dating-ish’ events and the fact that I hang with all of my past dates on a daily basis. Uh, I don’t. If you really had paid attention you would realize that Finger Foods, although met originally through Match back in December, is just a friend. Nothing more. He knows it, I know it. He’s still a nice guy, I’m just not interested in anything other than friendship with him. He happens to have a cute friend that I am interested in. As far as I can tell (and it is my life) he’s the ONLY ‘past date-ish’ that I still hang out with.

      You also seem to miss the entire ‘theme’ of this blog and my life. I am hugely self deprecating and sarcastic. If you are a totally literal person, you’d wouldn’t get me. At all. I will always paint myself in a worse light than really happens. I call myself ‘bitchy’. Do I run around and fishwife yell at people? Do I trip little old ladies? Hell no. I’m not a bitch. I’m a strong minded person that has high expectations and usually intimidates people (unintentionally) with my stature and intelligence (not my doing, it’s just how I am). I am also too nice for my own good. If I do, however, choose to be bitchy to someone that continually disrespects me, I’m pretty sure that’s my perogative.

      T, not that I feel I need to justify myself to you (although apparently I do), I happen to be a pretty terrific date. I’m funny and witty and polite and have good manners. I could absolutely have most of my past dates from this year alone still chasing after me. I refuse to lower my standards. I will not waste mine or anyone else’s time dating for the sake of dating. Sure, I will give a lot of guys that I probably shouldn’t 1 chance, but if it’s not there, it’s not there. That’s usually MY decision ~ not theirs.

      Until you’re actually on one of my dates (or are lucky enough to go out with me), you probably need to watch what you write to me in making innacurate assumptions. You should know by now that I can’t stand being ‘figured’ out by others. Especially when they’re way off base. And if I perceive a comment to be intentionally hurtful, well, then you get what you get as I don’t play that game either.

      Just to break it down for you, I believe I’ve been on @ 13 ‘dates’ since the end of February. Of those 13, 10 wanted to go out with me again. I didn’t. I wasn’t interested.

      And yes, btw, if I am out with a guy that I know is into me and I’m not into him, I will not be the amazingly polite and thoughtful date that I am as I want to have THEM make the decision not to ask me out again so I don’t have to turn them down and hurt their feelings.

      While I absolutely respect and value your opinions Thomas, this one sort of hurt my feelings (yes, I actually have them)

  5. The T Says:

    Well at least I know the Ellen that I want exists…now how to reach her more directly next time…

    You really need to know I’m a caring kinda guy and would never hurt anyone…however…like you, i have my opinion which is a simple one at that, however…i want only for your happiness… for me I have everything I’ve ever wanted…I simply want the same for you….curse me not…for I am the person who would represent you against lucifer himself….I would do it knowing I would win….I remain no common man…


  6. everevie Says:

    T…I definitely think you have misunderstood dear Grey. Firstly, she is NOT a bitch…and I personally don’t even think she’s all that bitchy. I think she’s funny as hell…it’s called “sarcasm” and some people get it, some people don’t.

    The people that don’t, will probably never really fit with a lady like Grey.

    And I think it’s a terrible idea to EVER pretend to be anyone other than yourself when looking for a potential mate. Let’s say Grey actually was a hardcore beeeeotch…and she went out and played all sweet and simpering. The man she was with would be pretty damned shocked when, down the line she showed up as herself.

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