43 & Single – Heaven Help Me, I've Resorted To Internet Dating!

Ridiculous & Random Stories & Thoughts on My Experiences

And The Oscar Goes To…….. April 25, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 12:10 am
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So I had a last minute invite to meet a friend for drinks tonight.  He’s nice and sweet and smart and funny.  And deluded as hell.  If you looked up cheese-ball in the urban dictionary you wouldn’t be faced with the photo of a blob of bright orange cheese covered in chopped nuts.  You’d see him.  Why on earth would I refer to my friend in such a manner?  Although he is all the things that I stated above and I know has a very good heart, he is infuriating when it comes to women.  I think deep down that he is insecure, but I haven’t quite figured that out yet.  I met him back in college (no, we never went out – or even hooked up for that matter), so we go back a very long way.  I’ve seen him ‘in action’ for years.  Holy cow – decades, actually.  I don’t hang out with him as much as I used to because it very much bothers me how he acts around women.

I watch him play women against one another.  I watch how he interacts with women.  It sort of makes me want to barf.  He will compliment the shit out of a woman, make her feel that she is the sun and the moon and the stars and everything in between and then will turn around and do the same thing to another woman.  I don’t really get it.  I have never been able to figure out if he’s genuinely trying to be nice and make these women feel good about themselves or if he’s just lying to them to see how many he can get to fall for him.  Are these women just pawns in a bigger game that he’s playing?  I don’t know.  I can’t get a straight answer out of him.  Ever.  He laughs it off as being funny and nice.  I don’t really think it is.  He takes it too far.  He lays it on thick.  So thickly in fact that these women have to be complete and utter morons not to be able to see through what he’s doing.

Some of the women are and sort of laugh it off and give him the proverbial ‘pat on the head’ that they would a dog or a little boy, but the ones that make me sad are the ones that DON’T see it.  For whatever reason; insecurity, social awkwardness, co-dependence they buy into his bullshit.

It’s like he’s trying to sell himself to these women by saying what he thinks they want to hear.  He waxes on about all he has and how wonderful he is when I have to wonder if he really is all these things, wouldn’t they notice on their own and why does he feel the need to list off his ‘qualifications’.  In addition to infuriating me, it also makes me sad.  Not only for the women he’s toying with, but for him.  For all his showmanship and salesmanship, he has yet to find ‘the one’.  For being an attractive guy, he doesn’t even get his fair share of the ladies.  I’m guessing that means that more women than he thinks can see through him.

I try to warn him and explain that he’d be much more appealing if he was just his good hearted self, but he seems a bit deluded at times.  He likes to backpedal, change his story or just deny.  Honestly, although I’ve been friends with him forever and a day, he’s exhausting.  He could, however win that Oscar.  Not for being able to fool all of these women, but for being able to fool himself into thinking that what he’s doing is going to get him what he’s looking for  …………

Well, I guess if the bullshit doesn’t actually win him an oscar (or a woman for that matter), he could always sell used cars.  He seems well suited for that profession.

.

I love you dearly my friend, but c’mon …….. you make me sad.  I guess I should have realized that going out for a drink with you means I was also in a for a ‘show’.

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9 Responses to “And The Oscar Goes To……..”

  1. Gav Says:

    (Random stranger chiming in on your blog here, but you know)
    It’s so frustrating when someone is actually a really cool person when they’re just naturally being themselves, but they get all weird with the opposite sex! Hard to pinpoint whether it’s an insecure thing, an “I don’t really know what I’m doing so I’ll just compliment everyone” thing or an “I’m totally messing with all your minds” thing. Is he beyond what might otherwise pass off as just “very charismatic”? Because recently I’ve gathered there’s a fine line between strong charisma, and actual flirting at whatever degree. Must’ve been so frustrating for you though, seeing you’ve known him for so long and it’s just like, “You’re so not being you right now.” People just need to be themselves dammit!

    • Grey Goose, Dirty Says:

      You can chime in any day Gav! I couldn’t agree more with everything that you said. I wouldn’t say it’s charisma. He’s totally himself with guys, he just acts this way around women. Like he’s trying to prove something (to himself?). I doubt I’ll ever figure him out, but honestly, I just hope he figures it out. 😉

      Thanks so much for the insightful comment!

  2. Surrey gal Says:

    I’d try the same tactic with him, sugar him a lot and then go to another guy and do the same. Just for fun 🙂

    • Grey Goose, Dirty Says:

      haha Surrey gal. He never seems to put 2 and 2 together. He would totally judge me for doing that while denying that he does it himself.

  3. The T Says:

    I have used the tactic many times… There’s no “bait and switch” here…he wants a ton of women giving him attention. Maybe he’s in a place where he feels confident to do that kinda stuff. It’s a classic womanizer pattern… I have been very guilty of it a ton of times….however, I also realize the costs involved and it was never my intention to ever hurt of harm. I’m sure he feels the same way…

    It’s gonna piss me off if he’s using my old lines…. umm like this fun classic…”I’m sorry I’m not hung like a horse…horses are hung like me…” Yep…ot the t-shirt and all that… Of course you could only use that line after 5 or 6 dates just to make sure she wouldn’t spot the goofy guy behind the comments… just enough to show you’ve got a sense of humor…although the statement still remains true… oh..one sec.. “Thank you God”…..yeah..i had to thank the Creator for a sec for doing such a nice job…you know how these things go…creative rights and stuff….lol

    Get past the ego and the ID with this fella and he’s be a keeper… he’s been with enough girls to know them like a blind man knows braile, and he’s creative enough that he can figure out situations before he gets himself into too much trouble….

    T.

    • Grey Goose, Dirty Says:

      Wow T, I’ve only heard that ‘hung like a horse’ comment in movies. I didn’t realize anyone actually said that in real life. 😉

      I would never be interested in someone who feels the need to ‘play’ with people. Intentional or not.

      So do you still think you’re a womanizer, Thomas? I think they make a pill for that now ……

  4. everevie Says:

    I think I’m one of those ladies that would pat your friend on the head…

    I certainly hope that he’s not doing these things on purpose to “play” the women he talks too. I’d rather think that he’s just a little clueless.

    • Grey Goose, Dirty Says:

      I would hope not either Evie. That would make him quite the jackass. I’m sure he is a bit clueless and moreso, a bit immature and insecure. Why else would he constantly need to sell himself to others. Strange that people base their self worth on what others think of them …….. oh well, he’s cute and he buys me drinks 😉

  5. The T Says:

    No I don’t think that’s me any longer….you know some of us kinda grow up sometimes….kinda…

    and stuff…

    T.


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