So I had a last minute invite to meet a friend for drinks tonight. He’s nice and sweet and smart and funny. And deluded as hell. If you looked up cheese-ball in the urban dictionary you wouldn’t be faced with the photo of a blob of bright orange cheese covered in chopped nuts. You’d see him. Why on earth would I refer to my friend in such a manner? Although he is all the things that I stated above and I know has a very good heart, he is infuriating when it comes to women. I think deep down that he is insecure, but I haven’t quite figured that out yet. I met him back in college (no, we never went out – or even hooked up for that matter), so we go back a very long way. I’ve seen him ‘in action’ for years. Holy cow – decades, actually. I don’t hang out with him as much as I used to because it very much bothers me how he acts around women.
I watch him play women against one another. I watch how he interacts with women. It sort of makes me want to barf. He will compliment the shit out of a woman, make her feel that she is the sun and the moon and the stars and everything in between and then will turn around and do the same thing to another woman. I don’t really get it. I have never been able to figure out if he’s genuinely trying to be nice and make these women feel good about themselves or if he’s just lying to them to see how many he can get to fall for him. Are these women just pawns in a bigger game that he’s playing? I don’t know. I can’t get a straight answer out of him. Ever. He laughs it off as being funny and nice. I don’t really think it is. He takes it too far. He lays it on thick. So thickly in fact that these women have to be complete and utter morons not to be able to see through what he’s doing.
Some of the women are and sort of laugh it off and give him the proverbial ‘pat on the head’ that they would a dog or a little boy, but the ones that make me sad are the ones that DON’T see it. For whatever reason; insecurity, social awkwardness, co-dependence they buy into his bullshit.
It’s like he’s trying to sell himself to these women by saying what he thinks they want to hear. He waxes on about all he has and how wonderful he is when I have to wonder if he really is all these things, wouldn’t they notice on their own and why does he feel the need to list off his ‘qualifications’. In addition to infuriating me, it also makes me sad. Not only for the women he’s toying with, but for him. For all his showmanship and salesmanship, he has yet to find ‘the one’. For being an attractive guy, he doesn’t even get his fair share of the ladies. I’m guessing that means that more women than he thinks can see through him.
I try to warn him and explain that he’d be much more appealing if he was just his good hearted self, but he seems a bit deluded at times. He likes to backpedal, change his story or just deny. Honestly, although I’ve been friends with him forever and a day, he’s exhausting. He could, however win that Oscar. Not for being able to fool all of these women, but for being able to fool himself into thinking that what he’s doing is going to get him what he’s looking for …………
Well, I guess if the bullshit doesn’t actually win him an oscar (or a woman for that matter), he could always sell used cars. He seems well suited for that profession.
I love you dearly my friend, but c’mon …….. you make me sad. I guess I should have realized that going out for a drink with you means I was also in a for a ‘show’.