43 & Single – Heaven Help Me, I've Resorted To Internet Dating!

Ridiculous & Random Stories & Thoughts on My Experiences

A Cause For Celebration April 30, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 12:04 am

First and foremost, what the hell was up with me yesterday?  I don’t know.  I just get that way sometimes.  It’s out of my system now.  Until next time.  😉  So goodbye to introspective Friday and hello to Saturday.  Saturday is a huge day of celebration!  No, not every single saturday mind you, but this one holds a very special place in my heart.  Very special.  As in window licking short bus sorta special.

I started a little experiment in torture 3 months ago.  All as a part of my ongoing quest to find a great guy.  Okay, a guy that has some great qualities and doesn’t annoy the shit out of me. 😉  I partook of this particular aspect of my quest with a little bit of trepidation.  Ever the optimist (ha), I figured maybe things had changed.  Maybe I could believe all that I was being told.  Maybe if I just went into it with the right attitude, I would find my true love.  Or at least my next ex-true love. 😉  I found neither.  What I found instead was a tortuous string of endless question and answer sessions.  Sure, I get bored, I played along with many.  I swear, the guys that I didn’t actually ever encounter would literally ‘freeze up’ when the ‘guided communication’ (aka: pointless q & a sessions with ill-fitting multiple choice answers) portion would end and it would then prompt them to send a *gasp* actual e-mail!  How horrifying.  I can’t even tell you how many guys I went thru this entire process with only to have them just disappear when it actually came time to write a sentence all on their own.  Unbelievable.  If I didn’t really like them anyway, I would just let it go.  If I had any interest, I would take the initiative and write to them.  Such a rule breaker I am!

Yes, you guessed it.  I’m talking about my not so beloved craptastic E-Harmony.  Although I have detailed a lot of my experiences along the way, I would like to give you a very quick rundown of what their awesome system was able to do for me:

# of ‘perfect’ matches sent to me: 807

# of ‘perfect’ matches for me that didn’t even live in my state : 49

# of ‘perfect’ matches that were shorter than I am (and not just by an inch or two either) : 622

# of question and answer sessions with guys : 29

# of e-mails exchanged with guys : 6

# of guys that disappeared once the multiple choice section ended : 23

# of guys that I actually met : 2

# of guys that I actually liked : 0

number of times that I complained about ‘craptastic e-harmony’ on here : 37

number of women that I have heard/read say good things about craptastic e-harmony : 0

number of people who I will recommend the site to : 0

Needless to say, I am VERY excited that my 3 month ‘trial’ membership ends today.  It couldn’t be soon enough!  It’s a banner day  people!  I am now only officially on 4 sites!  And two of them I keep forgetting my username anyway so never go on there!  🙂  Yey me!!!

Oh, and as I heard (and suspected on my own), crappy e-harm never actually removes profiles and there is no way for you to delete your profile either.  Nice right.  Who even knows if the ‘perfect’ matches they were sending me have even been on there in the last decade?  Anyway, as I figure my profile will be stuck on there forever, I deleted all my pics, changed my username and screwed around with my essays. 🙂  Tricky, huh?

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2 Responses to “A Cause For Celebration”

  1. OMG! I absolutely love your blog. I am so glad that I am not the only one out there who experiences the same things you do. Let’s live in misery together through our blogs! Us 40+ single girls gotta stick together!

    • Grey Goose, Dirty Says:

      glad you found me! thanks for the comment and so glad my horrid dating life amuses you. 😉 you’ve got to have a snese of humor in order to be able to survive it all, right? 🙂
      I’ll have to go check out your blog!!


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