43 & Single – Heaven Help Me, I've Resorted To Internet Dating!

Ridiculous & Random Stories & Thoughts on My Experiences

Trying Something New April 30, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 11:26 am
Tags: , ,

Which will inevitably backfire in my face, but oh well at least I’ll know.  So we all know that I went out with Big Red on Tuesday (or was it Wednesday?) and had a good time.  He’s cute and nice and funny.  He said he had a good time too.  He suggested we go out again (yes, I know, they all do that).  He even stood in the parking lot trying to get my Vegas dates correct for ‘scheduling purposes’.  He responded to my ‘thanks, I had a good time’ text with an enthusiastic “great timing, I just got home and was going to send you the same thing!!!”.  He is also the one that responded to my text the next day with a 1 sentence reply.  And hasn’t texted since although he did every day up until we met.

Now I’m no dummy and know that his lack of communication is pretty much a flashing neon sign in my face that he’s not interested.  Boo.  He really doesn’t strike me as the kind of guy that would do the whole cheesy ‘me too, love to see you again, ha ha only  kidding, fuck off’ sorta thing.  Of course I’ve spent several days this week wondering what I did to change his mind (when I know I did nothing, but that’s just not how I roll).  I can delude myself into thinking he’s just been busy.  I can delude myself into thinking that he thinks I’m not interested.  I can delude myself into a lot of things.

Here’s the thing about me though.  I need to hear it from someone.  I’m not good at leaving ‘loose ends’.  I would rather someone tell me to piss off, than just fall off the face of the earth.  I really have nothing to lose by suggesting that we get together again, right?  Well, aside from some self respect that is, but I think that stuff regenerates anyway.

So I’ve been staring at my phone, afraid to hit ‘send’ on the mini essay I just wrote up.  While I’m pretty sure I know what the answer will be, I’m going to send it anyway.  Oh!  If you’re wondering what the ‘new’ part of my trying something is, it’s this:  I’m going to be honest.  With my feelings.  I don’t do that often as I think that gives people an ‘in’ to hurt me, but what the hell, right?  Instead of acting all cavalier and like nothing matters, I’m going to let him know that I liked him and would like to see him again.  I’m going to phrase it in  such a way that pretty much forces an answer from him.

“Hi Big Red.  I hope you had a good night at work last night.  My crazy week is finally over, so I’m headed to Vegas.  I will be back on Tuesday.  I had a good time meeting you the other night.  I think you’re a really good guy.  Oddly enough, although you were the one to admit to being nervous, I actually was.  Funny for me; I don’t get nervous.  Hopefully you’re up for getting together again, so I was wondering if you wanted to do something on Wednesday?”

Short, sweet and to the point.  Not all aloof and pessimistic (hee) and acting as if I don’t give a shit what he responds.  Not playing that stupid ‘hard to get’ thing.  If there’s even the slightest chance that he might want to see me again but is afraid that I didn’t like him, then I’ll take the hit to my ego and lay it out there.

I really need to just hit ‘send’ already.  I will of course immediately hide my phone in a drawer so that I can’t see the flashing notification that I have a text ………..

.

*edited to add that the millisecond I sent it, I practically screamed NO at the phone …….. oy, now he’ll take my nervousness as something much too serious ……… i suck ……… oh, and I did throw my phone in a drawer………and have opened the drawer to check for a text response 3 times so far 😉

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9 Responses to “Trying Something New”

  1. Surrey gal Says:

    It was a very nice text, and you didn’t come across as desperate, nervous, or anything negative. In nice words you let him know you like him and would like to meet again. Nothing wrong with that. I may copy this text for my personal use for the future, very nicely worded.

    Of course I’m waiting very impatiently for his reply!
    p.s. I’m like you, I need to be told out loud, I hate figuring things out!

    • Grey Goose, Dirty Says:

      oh, thank you my sweet friend. i am always afraid they will read too much into what i write, so i try to ‘cover all the bases’ and just end up rambling and sounding like a desperately whiney tool 🙂 I should realize that the sheer fact that i’m asking him out implies that i like him, but i figure they need to be told as well …….

      hmmm, no reply yet – he may be out hiking, sleeping, dating, in the hospital, got hit in the head and has amnesia or dropped his phone in the toilet 🙂 as it’s been over an hour, the odds of getting a reply of any sort are looking a bit slim …….. *sigh*

  2. izziedarling Says:

    I, too, am waiting with baited breath for the reply! And it was really very “friendly”. Fingers Crossed. Don’t you hate this s*&t?

    • Grey Goose, Dirty Says:

      thanks Izzie. Yup, I certainly do hate this shit. I would much rather people just not say anything if they aren’t being truthful.

      You can uncross your fingers now. 😉

  3. everevie Says:

    I haven’t read ahead…and I’m not exactly sure how long it’s been since you sent the text.

    It was a really good text…and if he doesn’t respond, even with a no…then he’s an ass.

  4. carol Says:

    hey! this one really hit home with me. Mr. Portland is in Vegas until this weekend but I doubt that I will hear from him again. I sent him a nice email on Thursday night (basically saying that I think he’s amazing, but I understand that this is just a temporary thing, etc. ) No reply at all.
    Now I am torturing myself for being too clingy, not good enough, etc.
    I am all for people being honest and saying the truth even if it hurts.
    It if far more painful when things get dragged out or someone is left
    wondering. Good luck with Big Red and I think that message (to him) is great!

    • Grey Goose, Dirty Says:

      ah poo, Carol. I’m sorry. Always remember that it’s their loss, not yours. Guys are just big shitty babies at heart (all aside from the great ones that support me – or even disagree with me on here, of course) 😉

      I guess it’s just easier to ignore something than to step up to the plate and be an adult.

      You can’t beat yourself up about anything. You said what you felt, he was unworthy and just proved it to you. 😦

  5. mysterycoach Says:

    LOL I’ve done this! You walk around pretending that it doesn’t matter if they respond and you put your phone way over there, then you kinda breeze by it to see if it’s blinking. Or it goes off and your nerves are jumbled up hoping it’s the guy and it’s a friend sending you a joke or something. Ugh…

    I hate that. I told someone just the other day, I asked if he’d like to get to know one another better and he wasn’t ready, I knew it and I also knew (even though I’d hoped differently) that he may respond. He didn’t… so I wrote a msg., to him through the site. I told him how I felt in a mature way, despite my desire to tell him he was nothing but an emotionally deficient coward who shouldn’t even remotely be on the site at this time because he had some stuff he shared with me that he certainly wasn’t over yet… and he got defensive, oh gee… sorry I wasted your time he said. Uhm… yah, me too.

    I have a soft spot for goatees and dimples… 🙂 he had’m… but, you know, not for me, not emotionally available. And with so many women giving it away let him go get it some place else. I, and you, deserve much better.

    The one guy I wrote about today, (long story) I was so smitten with that boy one night, he worked nights, I heard the damned thing go off and it was just a dream. THAT sucked but it was a different length of time with different implied promises. Now that sucked.

    Hey, it’s not YOU it’s HIM… there’s nothing wrong with asking because the disappointment sucks but letting them loose before they’re too much of an attachment is better because it still hurts when they disappear but at least it’s before you’ve become attached to them. Been here, done this quite a bit in the past couple of weeks.


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