43 & Single – Heaven Help Me, I've Resorted To Internet Dating!

Ridiculous & Random Stories & Thoughts on My Experiences

OMG, His Ears Must Have Been Burning (or Why I’m A Bitch #397) May 4, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 8:38 pm

I couldn’t make this shit up.  I kinda, sorta, not really feel bad about doing this as I bet ADD is a genuinely nice guy and I do keep egging him on, but in response to his last headache inducing message to me I replied that I had just gotten back from Vegas so was catching up on work, that I found his boat analogy ‘interesting’ and that I hoped he was having a good day. (thrown in for good measure)  Ready for this reply?  Ready?

What did you go see in Vegas? Any cool shows? I did the roller coaster at NY NY and got sick. That was a while ago. I used to do Kareokee in Vegas at a small bar next to the big strip. Kareokee can be fun. I spelled it wrong twice and I’m not going to change the spelling… Twice .. two times…

Maybe he’s a drinker?

Here’s my well crafted response that I will not send:

“the only thing I saw in Vegas were a lot of bartenders.  i stayed at the flamingo but went to other places as well.  it was a shit-hole.  my feet sort of hurt.  i fell down.  the drinks were good.  lame idiots sat next to me at the pool.  i have a sunburn.  it sorta hurts.  i had shrimp and spinach for dinner.  my dog has gas. it smells bad”

whaddaya think?

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18 Responses to “OMG, His Ears Must Have Been Burning (or Why I’m A Bitch #397)”

  1. Fun Philly Says:

    maaaaybeee he’s nervous?

    • Grey Goose, Dirty Says:

      shit Sean, you may be right. how’s this:

      ‘vegas was fun. i ate a johnny rockets. i stubbed my toe. i like to wear my watch backwards. i stayed on the strip. karaoke sucks. my dog has gas. my flight got delayed. what did you do on Tuesday? my feet hurt.’

      better?

      i’m almost thinking i want to meet this guy just to see what he’s like in person…… almost…….

      • Much better. Oh wait, sorry…you got distracted and spelled all the words correctly.

        At least you posted the reply to the wrong person which is the kind of thing I think he would do. 🙂

        • Grey Goose, Dirty Says:

          Damn Sean, you’re throwing me off with your organized, cohesive and properly spelled sentiments. Damn, and you even put it in 2 different ‘paragraphs’ and not all run together. How am I supposed to understand you?!?!?! 😉

  2. I think your sample response is way too organized; it almost makes some sense, it almost follows logically.

    If you want to be like ADD guy, you’ve got to learn to *randomize* 🙂

  3. The only response I can muster is “Fuck Me.” Periods, quotes, capitalization, etc.

  4. I think you should keep writing him just so we can keep reading his replies 😉

    Btw – do you know how he looks?

    • Grey Goose, Dirty Says:

      haha ~ it’s for the good of the blog 😉 honestly, i really do think he’s a good guy, i’m just hoping that eventually one of his e-mails makes sense.

      he’s wearing sunglasses in all his pics, so not really sure what he looks like – not horrifying though…..

  5. Pammy Girl Says:

    I signed up for internet dating… again… because you inspired me. It’s awful. One guy asked if my boobs were real. Another guy is in his late 50s and has 7 kids. But your stories, like this one with ADD guy, are always so hilarious. I think I need some humor in my life. THAT’S why I do online dating.

    • Grey Goose, Dirty Says:

      Good luck? Have Fun? Grab a cocktail (or 12)? Not sure which is more fitting Pammy. Welcome to my world. 😉

      I’m hoping you have better luck than I do though. Remember to keep a sense of humor about it and try not to take it too seriously. Sadly the nimrods far outweigh the good ones.

  6. izziedarling Says:

    Hahahahaha! But I won’t laugh anymore because I think he is “challenged”, bless his bones. Or writing you from prison. YIKES!

  7. Surrey gal Says:

    Well, you see, I wouldn’t cross him out. Maybe because I’m pissed myself now, and 1. I can’t really understand what I’m reading although I don’t know it; or 2. we are on the same wave length…
    I started reading your post an hour ago but my friend called and we had a long chat during which I had two glasses of wine. One glass is half a bottle. I spelled I wrong twice, that is two times. But I’m not going to correct it.


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