43 & Single – Heaven Help Me, I've Resorted To Internet Dating!

Ridiculous & Random Stories & Thoughts on My Experiences

Douches From Days Gone By All Have Something In Their Eye May 8, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 4:43 pm
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It’s been a banner day for ‘winks’ on Match.com today.ย  I don’t think I’ve bothered to even sign on in over a week (as I can respond to ADD guy’s rambling messages to me from my regular e-mail account). ๐Ÿ˜‰ I usually don’t even bother to look at the profiles of the guys who send lame winks.ย  I figure if they can’t put the supreme effort of sending me an actual coherent e-mail, then chances are they’re just plain lazy.ย  Anywhoo, I logged on today and my home page has pictures of all the tool-bags that have winked at me this week.ย  By the way, my profile is now up to 2,147 views in the past 2 months and I have not evenย a good date to show for it. ๐Ÿ˜‰ย  So I look at the pics of the guys who winked because I just felt like being annoyed and guess who was in the gaggle of dorkuses?

There was fabulous Alpha Male from last month.ย  Funny, I wouldn’t think Alpha Males winked.ย  Oh well, Alpha Males also don’t send constant needy text messages and pouty ones when they think you’re cancelling on them either.

There was also my lovely wine date from last year who opted to cancel on me 3 hours before our 2nd date as he ‘met someone really great the night before’.ย  Er ……….

There was the usual grouping of 51+ year olds, guys from out of state and guys that looked to be barely out of high school (yup, even I have limits when it comes to that).

Don’t even get me started on who’s added me to their ‘favorites’ list.ย  Ewwwww …….ย ย 

hmmmm, thinking of messaging wine date guy to let him know how sorry I am that his apparent wonderful gal thing didn’t work out and to welcome him back to the craptastic world of online dating ……. poor guy

I believe that Match has lost it’s appeal.ย  At least for me.ย  At least for this week.ย  Will probably change my mind by next week.

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20 Responses to “Douches From Days Gone By All Have Something In Their Eye”

  1. everevie Says:

    So I’m guessing “wine date’s” awesome girl didn’t pan out the way he’d hoped. Sucks for him!

  2. I would so send that message and if, only if, he has spectacular potential, meet him for wine.

  3. I’m with you when you say “…I figure if they can’t put the supreme effort of sending me an actual coherent e-mail, then chances are they’re just plain lazy.”

    I have a friend in Texas (who I understand to be reading this blog, but has not so far commented on it — NOW WOULD BE A GOOD TIME, “M”! Wait, she probably can’t see my wild ass replies on here anyway. Oh well.). Anyway, back to M in Texas. She told me exactly the same thing a few years ago. She was tired of guys ‘winking’ at doing nothing else. She assumed it was a simple filter — wink anyone who matches any criteria, then only bother writing to the people who bother (or are dumb enough) to write back. Why should a guy put the ball in your court like that?!

  4. Google the “match.com wink shuffle.”

    • Fascinating. Some guy has a whole detailed strategy to get women to make the first move: http://onlinedatingmatchmaker.wordpress.com/2008/04/17/the-matchcom-whos-viewed-me-shuffle/

      It’s not clear why he thinks making the first move is so bad or why he refers to getting “your dream woman” as women are prizes, instead of thinking of women as people to build a real relationship with!

      • Grey Goose, Dirty Says:

        OMG Sean – that guy is an idiot! eh, if it works for him, whatever …..

        • You’re right. He’s an idiot. But that’s for thinking that women aren’t people.

          He’s on to something with his odd powergame. You mentioned it yourself in another post today: you seemed aloof and it drew the guy to you more than you expected.

          Maybe the guy today thought that you are better than him, so he became more interested — going out with you must mean going up in the world. Steven Pinker, a renowned psychologist, has a loooong book that talks about this kind of thing: the way we think. It’s very hard to get into it, but it totally nails it. It basically explains everything about what and why we think they way we do. Of course, since I failed to become perfect after reading it, its real-world value is not high.

          • Grey Goose, Dirty Says:

            I know, now if only I could act like I don’t give a shit with guys that I actually DO like …… hmmm …..

            OMG, I dated a guy at the beginning of the year that used to always tell me that he was ‘dating up’ …. sorta made me sad. As things turned out, he was though ๐Ÿ˜‰

            There is no such thing as perfect, my friend, but you seem pretty terrific to me ๐Ÿ™‚

            • Awwww !!

              So, except for me (a) still being married, (b) being at least 10 states away, (c) not meeting a couple of key criteria on your Guy Criteria list, and (d) feeling fairly intimidated at how my write-up would fare … it’s almost a perfect situation for a trial date. ๐Ÿ™‚

              • Grey Goose, Dirty Says:

                so how long is your prison record, exactly? ๐Ÿ˜‰ yup, we’re practically a match made in heaven………. aside from those slight details you mentioned ๐Ÿ˜‰ and that fact that you think kissing on a 1st date is ‘wrong’ and that I think you’re probably much too nice for me …… but yeah, aside from those things ……. ๐Ÿ˜‰

                • LOL…How long is my prison record? I’ll have to check that Dictionary you created to see if “prison record” is another one of those phrases with special Grey meaning. ๐Ÿ™‚ And you picked that one to start with? Geez! ๐Ÿ™‚

                  I didn’t say kissing on a first date was *wrong* (ha, I’ve not been appointed to judge anyone else!!), I think I said it might leave the wrong impression, and have since been assured my opinion on this is REALLY out-of-date. Besides being half-separated means I don’t get any kissing at all anymore, so if I hit the dating scene in the future, I might make that my top criteria for all dates! ๐Ÿ™‚

                  Much too nice for you? Come on! You put yourself out here all the time, nothing to hide, and look how many people come back for more. Your self-deprecating description of bitchy and sarcastic doesn’t fool your readers. In my case, we had (what I thought was) a funny exchange and that sweet but slightly deluded lady described me as “inhuman”. So that puts you one species superior to me…

                  • Grey Goose, Dirty Says:

                    you’re good for my self esteem Sean. promise to never leave me? ๐Ÿ™‚

                    hahaha, I had to think back to what you were referring about the ‘inhuman’ comment. I think she meant well ….. for me, but you’re just an evil guy after all ๐Ÿ˜‰

                    (and thanks for being able to see through all my bullshit) ๐Ÿ˜‰

                    • I’ll try not to leave you, but don’t forget I have Creepy Guy duty sitting outside Evie’s house. ๐Ÿ™‚ Maybe she’ll let me split my time…

                      Yes, she meant well, just misinterpreted the tone of the discussion. I remember at my last physical they made no mention of me being inhuman, so I’m fairly confident she was wrong about that.

  5. Grey Goose, Dirty Says:

    OMG! our string of comments is getting WAY too narrow. Annoying!

    Okay, back to your prison record. Are you trying to tell me that you’re just short or that you have mommy issues? ๐Ÿ˜‰

    And maybe your doctor’s were just being nice?

    You better take that stupid diaper off before you head to AZ, btw ๐Ÿ˜‰

    • OK, OK, one of at least three possible fails (and that’s all you get!!) is that I am about the same height as you. Not 5’8″ pretending to be 6′ (what kind of idioit would try that deception, by the way!). So, you see, it’s completely impossible! ๐Ÿ™‚

      • Grey Goose, Dirty Says:

        lmao ‘about the same height’ …… so you’re 5’9″? you realize height makes no difference in the end if everything else fits, so you carry on with your mommy issues, your prison record, your inability to ….. oh crap, i can’t even remember my own bitchy list …..

        no worries, btw, apparently very few actually like me in person ๐Ÿ˜‰

  6. You’ve shrunk? I thought you were 5’10”? Shorty pants! And, yes, *I* realize that height makes little difference, but I wasn’t the one with the long and really specific list! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Note: My wife is inches shorter than me. But, in the past, I dated women much shorter (5′) up to a little taller (5’11”). Height was way less important than any other factor for me…but it does matter to most people. I remember reading somewhere (and you know this fact just has to be correct) that in something like 97% of marriages, the man is taller than the woman. Interesting.

    • Grey Goose, Dirty Says:

      haha, no the osteoporosis phase of my advanced age has not kicked in just yet ๐Ÿ˜‰ I am 5’10” and rarely wear flats, so am more like 6’1 usually.

      I can believe that statistic, but everything else being equal, height isn’t the most important thing (as long as you’re not 3’8″). I would much rather date a short(er) guy than a complete asshole. Or dummy.


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