Is it a full moon tonight? Or has every single douche online come down with a sudden bout of amnesia? I got messages today from 1 guy who did admit to trying on another site, 1 from one of OUR all time favorites (you’ll remember once you see below), and one other that I dated last year. Once. Just like all the rest. 😉 I also got messages from 2 normal guys. What the hell? Strange day. Anyway, as the ‘non-normal’ guys are much more entertaining to poke fun at, enjoy my little trip down memory lane:
1st there was this guy who I genuinely wish I was the least bit attracted to, but alas, I am not. He’s funny and charming and 54 and lives in California. And I do not. But he writes a damn good message, that’s for sure:
Greetings, I think you might be on OK Cupid as well as match. Since you managed to resist my charms there, I figured I’d take another shot at it over here. So you seem a bit too young for me but I am willing to deal with this because you have great legs. Plus, I think a challenge is good to keep one feeling alive. I don’t know if you have experience with older guys but we are …. well … older. And we are really wise, mostly. And we are more in touch with our feminine sides but learned to drink water out of a muddy hoofprint when we were kids. Sensitive, but macho. Anyway, you are cute as hell. My name is ***
Then there is this goody from a couple of months ago. I shit you not. He has not bothered to change one single word. Apparently it’s been working so well for him that he hasn’t deemed it necessary to make even the slightest adjustment. Not even to have it make sense. My total lack of interest or reply has apparently left the door open for him to give it another shot:
Dang girl I’m just sitting on my laptop eating pizza scanning Match and you popped up ,dam near choked on my pizza………………Lord have mercy girl were did you come from ……You can’t have been on here long some man would have swept you off your feet by now. We’ll i’ll be in Mesa Arizona for training for Boeing for a month till June 5th and just didn’t want to eat alone while I was out their maybe go out have some fun as in drinks or something like that
Now, as for the pompous douchebag who uses big words in the wrong context, try as I might, I haven’t actually been able to scare him off yet. He’s either a total idiot or just fearless. Sure, I could have just ignored his ‘look at me’ messages, but found it much more fun to reply. Not all that pleasantly, with messages filled with backhanded compliments regarding his not all that impressive vocabulary and pompous attitude. Er, I sorta think he took it as a compliment! Whatever dude. I went back and actually read some of his ‘quiz’ answers off the site and as far as I can tell, he’s either a total smartass or really doesn’t believe in monogamy but does believe in open relationships, cheating on your wife, sleeping with married people and doesn’t feel that making out with someone other than the person you are dating is cheating. Huh, sounds like a winner to me! 🙂
I will save telling you about the 2 seemingly ‘normal’ guys that contacted me as I haven’t managed to stick my foot in my mouth yet and scare them off, but it’s still early on. As I’m still swamped with work thru the 31st, no way to squeeze in a ‘meet and greet’ 😉 before then anyway, but it looks like June might be a much better month date-wise than May. But I’m usually wrong anyway, so who knows ……….