43 & Single – Heaven Help Me, I've Resorted To Internet Dating!

Ridiculous & Random Stories & Thoughts on My Experiences

Hi, My Name Is …….. May 26, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 9:10 am
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I just read a post from After I Quit My Day Job (sorry, too lazy to post a link ~ look to your right, she’s in my blog roll) that reminded me of 2 very strange guys that I once dated.  Yes, the fact that everyone I used to date was strange doesn’t help, but oh well.  So here is a story from days gone by regarding 2 different guys who suffered from the same affliction (being an asshole). 😉

I think it was my junior year in college, I was out at a bar one night and met a great (ha) guy.  Of course we were both drunk (i spent most of my college years in such a state, but still managed to graduate with a 3.72 out of 4.0, so not too shabby if you ask me).  We hung out, we danced, we drank, we made out in the parking lot.  Yup, my penchant for mashing with men I’ve just met dates back a loooooong time.  Anyway, he was from out of town and just here for the weekend.  Damn it.  Oh well, we still had the weekend.  So we spent the entire weekend together.  Went out, stayed in, talked about everything and really seemed to connect on a lot of different levels.  Anyway, come Monday morning, he has to leave.  Our goodbyes are exchanged, hugs, kisses, phone numbers, addresses and all else.   I think I managed to squeeze out a couple of tears actually.  It really was a great 4 days.  Now fast forward about 2 weeks and I am at my favorite fraternity house for a party (big surprise) and who do I see across the dance floor?!  Holy shit!  Yey!  He must be back in town!  With a huge grin on my face, I walk over to say hello to him and give him a hug and he says, and I can pretty much quote this all these years later ‘uh, have we met before? my name is *****’.  What the fuck?  As I apparently was more of a trusting dumbass than I am now, I was confused as hell about how we could have such a great time together, share all the things we did, and he not remember me.  Then it hits me.  Uh, if he was only in town for ‘the weekend’, why did he have an apartment?  The dumb fucker made the whole thing up!  He wasn’t from out of town.  He lived there, went to school there and was even friends with a bunch of guys at my favorite fraternity house!  Holy shit!  I think this is when my distrust of all things male began.  😉  I still shake my head at being such a patsy.

I’d like to say that my ‘radar’ with guys improved over the years, but sadly, not so much.  A few years after I graduated I met another terrific guy.  No clue where, but we really hit it off.  We dated for probably a month or so before I told him that I was planning on moving to Boise.  I was not happy about finally meeting a terrific guy right before my plans to move, but everything was already in place and I really wanted to go.  While I hoped that he would be okay with ‘trying’ long distance, or being okay with exchanging visits or whatever, he was not.  He didn’t want to ‘get serious’ with someone who was leaving in a month.  Although I was very sad, I understood.  He was a really good guy.  Sweet and handsome and smart and just a nice, nice guy.  Damn my timing.  The week before I am leaving, I head to South Scottsdale for a St. Patrick’s Day block party and see him!  How nice to be able to say goodbye and to make sure he knew how much I really did like him and was sorry that I messed what seemed to be going great, up by leaving.  I walk up to him and give him a big ole’ hug.  And he totally pushes me away and says ‘who are you?’.  Okay look, sure i’ve mistaken strangers for people I know before, but THIS WAS THE GUY.  It had only been 3 weeks for fuck’s sake!  Needless to say, I didn’t take this slight as well as my college one as I could not believe that this was happening to me again!  I gave him one more chance to admit that he was just being a dick, and then I opted to be the bigger person by walking away.  But not before I let his friends know what an asshole he was and that he had a tiny penis (which he actually didn’t, but I’m a vindictive bitch that way).  The whole rest of the party I’m replaying everything in my mind and trying to figure out how/why someone so seemingly nice would pull such a dick move.  I kept waffling back and forth between maybe it not really being ‘him’, but just a doppelgänger and actually being him.  Needless to say, I’ve hated St. Patrick’s Day ever since.

Really?  What the hell is wrong with guys that they can’t just admit to being assholes?  What would have been so hard about either of these guys having just said ‘hi’ and leaving it at that.  Why go the extra step of acting like they didn’t know me?  No, I wasn’t the needy, clingy mess that I am apparently now regarding guys.  I was the fun, let’s get together, call if you want (or don’t), many other options sorta gal.  I am, and was, a fairly intelligent person.  Why do I not see the inner shithead in guys up front?

Oh, and for those of you who have in the back of your minds that I did mistake strangers for both of these guys, just know that when I was actually leaving the block party, ‘he’ was standing by the exit and said under his breath ‘good luck in Boise’.  Dumb fucker!


10 Responses to “Hi, My Name Is ……..”

  1. ifUseekAmy Says:

    What dicks. Unless things ended on a really bad note (the first time around, not talking about these times when they ignore you), then there is no harm in being civil. It’s not like we’re asking to be besties forever. But treat one another like a human being. We’re just saying “hi”. Jeezus.

    I had a college fling (wasn’t serious enough to be a true relationship, but it lasted for months and I even took him to a sorority formal), who a few years later claimed to not know me when he ran into one of my sorority sisters. She damn well knew that he knew me and was just being a prick.

    • Grey Goose, Dirty Says:

      I know, right? Everything ended great 1st time around, so what would have been the big deal about just being human and saying ‘hi’ instead of intentionally making me feel like an ass (which of course leads to me turning into a huge bitch)…

      Guys are unbelievable sometimes, Amy 😦 I’m sorry about your college douchey fling …. so stupid …

  2. Tallcoookie Says:

    Wow …… talk about timing !!!!!
    I am sorry that you had such a**hole men in your past dirty, but just so you know they are alive and well here in Missouri.
    Just last weekend I encountered one that blew me away.
    I have been wanting to try a “farmhouse” dinner at this cool place for a long time. You actually get to eat a fancy smancy dinner in a open air barn, plated with wine pairings, and it just seemed like a really cool thing.
    I could not find anyone willing to foot the 130.00 price tag (each..ouch!) with me (my girlfriends are unwilling to pay for culture…..:0( so I asked a funny co-worker at work if he would like to go with me.  Nothing serious, just a nice dinner with fun conversation. He said that he would love to go so we set it up…..another thing, he is black so I was very proud of myself for getting out of my comfort zone and entering into the twentieth century :0)
    Tickets sold out quickly so I ordered his when I ordered mine and he said he would just pay me that night.
    Fast forward…..we are to meet at 430 (dinner starts at 645) and walk around a neat little adjoining town……maybe have a glass of wine.
    I text him at 2 (I hate texting but it seems to be the preferred method of “conversation” now days) and ask to move it back to 530…..it sends a reply “k”. short and to the point I guess.
    I then arrive at 530 and call to see where he is….I get his answer machine. He then texts back “on my way B there N 30”.   NICE …..(insert sarcasm)
    I then do some shopping (find a awesome skirt and shirt for 25.00) and at 620 call him again to find out where he is.  Nothing……
    I leave a message that I am going to go on out the dinner “barn” and for him to just meet me there as it is getting so late.
    That is that last I heard of him…..no show up……no call…..no nothing !     Fucker !!!!!!!!!!!   I got to spend that entire dinner with 15 married couple trying to make small talk with the poor single lady that got stood up. (on a good note I did get to try goose liver pate and poached duck egg……rich people eat weird food :0)
    Needless to say……I have a shrink appointment set up for this afternoon ! What the hell is wrong with people ?  I just do not understand why someone would agree to go to something and then just not show up, or why when I texted him at 2, just tell me you don’t want to go anymore (I would have taken one of my “poor” friends as the ticket was already paid for) but nooooooooo we have to “act” like we are coming and then just stand me up.  I made it 44 freakin years old with out being stood up and then this dumb asshole goes and breaks my record.
    (I am sure that he is one of the  abnormal “small penised” black men :0)

    • Grey Goose, Dirty Says:

      That’s horrible!!! I’m so sorry! It sucks to be stood up, but by someone you’re not even interested in, a coworker and out $130 to boot? I think you should kick his ass! I mean, wtf? You work with him, so you’ll obviously see him again. I would make him pay you for the ticket anyway.

      No clue why he couldn’t just let you know earlier in the day that he wasn’t coming/changed his mind/whatever. Guys really do suck sometimes. 😦

  3. jgavinallan Says:

    I adore your writings…they are so much more than you pretend. I know what is beautiful about this country is freedom to write…but you do not need vulgar words…you have such amusing…intelligent observations…you don’t need them.


    • Grey Goose, Dirty Says:

      thanks Jaye. I so appreciate your kind words, but I do use vulgarities. I think some are (inappropriately) funny and just darn fitting sometimes. I’m sorry if I am offending you. 😦

      • jgavinallan Says:


        Oh no! I am not offended. Please…I am not like that. I understand…and I owe you an apology.

        Please…forgive me


        PS: Do those heels come in 5 AAA?

  4. stevesw Says:

    Not sure if I want to add anything to this post; it’s obviously a female ‘let’s get it off our chests’ post (gee, was that a sexist pun?). Truthfully, one day I realized that contrary to my high opinion of myself, I at times acted like a complete asswipe towards women. The turning point came when I was stood-up and realized she had every right to do it. While in college I was dating a really nice girl, but she was liking me too much; I felt trapped, and I had no idea how to deal with it. So I ended the relationship by just walking away; no words, just walking away. A few years later I saw her and asked her out. She agreed and stood me up. That was like a flash of light and it made me reflect on how I treated women; ‘the self-proclaimed gentleman’ was really no better than the rest of the shits he hung out with. On my list of regrets in life is an entry for Robin. And I am sure for Robin, for any person, man or woman, words of ‘sorry,’ ‘I was wrong,’ etc. can never erase how one feels when the person they opened a part of their life to just ‘disappears’ from their life.

    • Grey Goose, Dirty Says:

      Thank you for sharing that Steve. You know the 1st step to getting help is admitting you have a problem. 😉 We all did things in the past that we regret, it just seems as thought guys are a bit more er, creative, in what they do. 😉

      I think Robin would accept your apology.

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