43 & Single – Heaven Help Me, I've Resorted To Internet Dating!

Ridiculous & Random Stories & Thoughts on My Experiences

Poor Guy…….. May 29, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 7:00 am
Tags: , ,

I’m sort of wondering how many times this guy has used the approach.  And exactly how many times someone has taken pity on his poor, ‘virginal’ soul ………. be very jealous of the message I got last night:

Hey there.

I’m Drew.

I don’t want to waste your time so here it goes…I’ve read your profile and i don’t know if I match but hear me out at least?I’m 22, but still a virgin…I want to lose my v-card. Help me out? If interested let me know so I won’t keep checking my email.I’m not looking for a sympathetic fuck. And I’m not a troll. 22/m/Hispanic not Mexican/5’11”/215lbs/brown hair eyes. I’m college educated and don’t consider myself to act like others my age. Also, I don’t want to offend you in anyway so please don’t take it that way.

I know you’ll receive tons of emails but I will send my pic if you are interested. I do this because I want to be discreet.

Peace!

Now, not to state the obvious, but as there’s no real way to tell if a guy is truly a virgin or not (even non-virgins seem to sorta fumble around and be clueless sometimes), I’m thinking he’s had his V-card punched at least a dozen times?  I sort of (almost) feel a little bad for him.  5’11” (which we all know means 5’9″ at most) and 215?  If anyone is interested in helping this poor guy out, let me know and I’d be more than happy to forward his contact information to you.  I’m absolutely certain he wouldn’t mind.  After all, he did read my entire profile and still has no clue if we’d be a match, so chances are he’d have no clue how many hundreds of women he just sent this exact same message to. 😉

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12 Responses to “Poor Guy……..”

  1. jgavinallan Says:

    Ellen:
    Run do not walk away.

    your friend—Jaye

  2. cateohara Says:

    There is NOTHING about this post that makes me want to continue to swim in the internet dating pond. In my desire to go on to Chemistry and delete my profile, i found myself wading though a bunch of profiles. Ugh!

    You’re a stronger woman than I!

    • Grey Goose, Dirty Says:

      😦 I’m sorry Cate. It is a tough way to try and date. I wish I had other options, but right now, this is it. You’ve just got to be able to laugh at it all (or else you’ll just cry) 😉

      • cateohara Says:

        No need to be sorry – and it is good to know it’s out there if I need it. Like…antibiotics. 😉

        Fred the wonder therapist talks about how much work it is to weed through it all and then recommends going out with someone a bunch of times to see if there is a connection because you can’t tell from once or twice. But this means that 1. said other individual would also have to buy into this idea and 2. you have the kind of time/inclination to go out with someone with little spark several times. I am of the “if I like him I’ll know it in the first 15 minutes” opinion. But apparently, this isn’t the right way to go about it. I’m going to live vicariously through you for a while 🙂

        • Grey Goose, Dirty Says:

          antibiotics ….. lol!

          Fred would HATE me! I can tell in the 1st 5 minutes (i actually wrote a post on it a while ago). No way would I have the time or inclination to go out with someone that I wasn’t thrilled about right off the bat.

          Yes, feel free to live vicariously through me. Hopefully I’ll get all your bad dates out of the way for you, so when you’re ready to start dating again, you’ll have better luck! 🙂

  3. Please, please, PLEASE reply!!!

    Or at least tell us what you’d reply if you had to. I’m guessing it could be a classic GGD moment 😀

    • Grey Goose, Dirty Says:

      I’ll have to think abotu that one BAS. I’m waffling between feeling sorry for the kid (on the off chance that he really is trying to lose his ‘v-card’) and thinking he’s just a ginormous tool in training. 😉

  4. commutersex Says:

    that just reminds me why i do sex only dating…been married…have kids now it’s all on my terms!

    • Grey Goose, Dirty Says:

      damn, I bet your blog is way more interesting than mine! 😉 good for you! i bet you get some interesting ‘clingers’ though that don’t want to let you go …… hmmm, sort of the opposite of me 😉

  5. Matthew Says:

    I’m sort of leaning towards this is his tactic to try and get women.

    His entire message reads timid and unsure. Then he ends it with: “Peace!”

    One of these things is not like the other.

    • Grey Goose, Dirty Says:

      well he is only 22, he still may watch Sesame Street 😉 or was it Electric Company?


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