43 & Single – Heaven Help Me, I've Resorted To Internet Dating!

Ridiculous & Random Stories & Thoughts on My Experiences

The Cesspool Awaits May 29, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 7:51 am
Tags: , ,

So as my busiest month in years draws to a close, so does my brief hiatus from the craptastic world of internet dating.  *sigh* Sadly, when I decided my ‘boys are evil’ phase was over (temporarily, I’m sure), I peeked out the front door of my house and the line of awesome eligible bachelors just waiting to woo me that I expected wasn’t there.  Damn.  Looks like it’s time to start pounding the websites and see what/who floats to the top.

I’m pretty sure it won’t be the guy in New Mexico who insists on continually writing to me.  For heaven only knows what reason other than to let me know what an amazing ‘stage actor’ his son is.  Which I’m pretty sure is code for
‘I’m gay’.  Makes me wonder why someone from out of state would even bother.  Has New Mexico run out of women already?  Well, according to E-Horrorme, Phoenix has run out of guys for me, so maybe.

I really don’t have anyone ‘in the works’ (I know, a true romantic at heart, aren’t I?), so am going to have to start going back online.  Thank god I am no longer a member of E-Harm.  Which I am convinced is run by monkeys.  Dumb ones.  I can’t remember my login information for Plenty of Fools (again), which is probably a good thing because after all the guys I’ve messaged with off of there, I think I’ve only met one and he weighed 85 pounds.  So as it stands, I’m still on Match – which I am highly disappointed in this time around, OkStupid – which I should probably stop calling it that if I expect to meet anyone off of there, and Chemistry – which I find only slightly less shitty than E-Harm, but am stuck on there for another 2 months I think.  Yey me.

I’m thinking it might be easier to start hanging out at bars alone.  I’m certain the quality of guys couldn’t be any worse and I could at least see what they truly look like and how questionable their social interaction skills really are.  Or maybe it would be easier to just go out and try to find a new single girlfriend to hang out with.  Who hopefully has lots of single male friends to introduce me to.  Oh wait, if she’s single too, we’d probably be after the same guys.  Okay, maybe I need to go out and make a new UGLY single girlfriend to hang out with. 😉  Yup, I’m a peach.

I am currently messaging with 2 guys.  One I find highly annoying in that he has pointed out no less than 4 times that he doesn’t drink, so is not up for meeting ‘for a drink’ even though I’m pretty sure most bars serve soda, but whatever.  I sort of remembered he didn’t drink after the 1st time he told me, but obviously he thinks I’m retarded and can’t retain any information so feels the need to keep reminding me.  He waffles back and forth from being funny/entertaining to annoying/annoying. 😉 Ehhh, whatever.

The other guy seems really nice but has made no mention of actually meeting.  Nor have I.  I guess I should actually just pull the trigger on this one and suggest it.

Oh wait!  There is another guy.  One of the guys that I messaged over a week ago that was lucky enough to not be included in my bridge burning e-mail forray.  He responded Friday.  5 days after I messaged him.  With a one line response.  To which I sent another ‘real’ message consisting of more than one line.  To which I got back ‘I didn’t receive your message?’.  Which didn’t make sense to me.  If he didn’t get it, then how does he know I sent one?  Anyway I resent it yesterday along with the passive aggressive disclaimer of ‘being the overly verbose guy that you are, you didn’t give me much to go on as far as sending a message back’.  Yeah, I’m guessing I won’t be hearing from him again.  I mean really?  He makes me wait 5 friggin days (after reading my original message on the day that I sent it, btw), and then sends a 1 line response?  What the hell am I supposed to do with that?!

Wish me luck this time around.  It’s not looking like my attitude/optimism is any better at this point, but I am excited to go out and have cocktails with random people.  ‘Cause although I usually can’t stand my dates, I have rarely if ever met a cocktail that I didn’t like. 😉

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9 Responses to “The Cesspool Awaits”

  1. jgavinallan Says:

    Ellen:

    This problem can only be saved by a drink. Even though it is AM time…I need to sip some wine…just to be a support for you.
    I think you need a cocktail…alcoholic type—lol

    Jaye

    Caution: The nice guy who doesn’t write back appropriately…may be shy and low-self esteem.
    Keep him in the files for future referances.

  2. cousinbette Says:

    Mojitos generally do it for me. Say, six. Or so. And Jaye – yes, perhaps shy and low self-esteem and deserving of empathy all round, but just how hard does a gal have to work?

    • Grey Goose, Dirty Says:

      Haha Bette. Couldn’t agree more! If I wanted a pen pal I’d look elsewhere.

      I’m a martini gal myself and 2 usually make all seem less annoying 😉

  3. izziedarling Says:

    Buy some red shoes and wear them. That’s what Dodmermom told me to do. Then, if your date is awful, you can click your heels together 3 x and drink 40 mojitos. I’ll report on my experiences. But the shoes won’t be here for at least a week so don’t hold your breath … didn’t think you would! 🙂 iz

  4. izziedarling Says:

    I meant domermom. And I haven’t had a drink … sheesh!

    • Grey Goose, Dirty Says:

      haha. and see, I thought you were going in a completely different direction with the red shoes. As in I could kick them and run away (once my drink was fully consumed and enjoyed, that is) 😉 You’re much nicer than I am……

  5. everevie Says:

    I’d be happy to be your ugly friend to hang out with. Except I don’t live in Scottsdale. Although, my friend is moving there…so I can arrange a visit to be your ugly friend for the weekend sometime!!

    • Grey Goose, Dirty Says:

      Hmmmm, I see 2 major flaws with your plan Evie. #1, I don’t live in Scottsdale 😉 and #2, you’re NOT ugly! (i’m your FB friend, remember?)


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