43 & Single – Heaven Help Me, I've Resorted To Internet Dating!

Ridiculous & Random Stories & Thoughts on My Experiences

And So It Begins……….Again ;-) June 17, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 12:05 am
Tags: , , ,

Oh how I’ve missed trolling the craptastic dating sites for douchebags/idiots eligable bachelors.  Well my friends, I’m back in the game.  Happy about it?  Eh, not so much.  Then again, I never really was, but at least now I’ll have more fun bullshit stories to share with you!  Yey!  I sent out 2 messages today and what do you know?  I got 2 responses back.  Too bad one of them totally forgot to include his name in his reply, but I could possibly overlook that as he’s got a really great smile and silly sense of humor.  I’ve also received several unsolicited messages!  Yey me!  My new pal, Bill, has pulled through to make my first ‘holy shit, I’m back at it’ post a scary great one!  I would like to introduce to you to my newest admirer.  Or at least my newest dumbass bachelor who not only lives out of state and is 60 years old, didn’t bother to read my profile, apparently has included me in his ‘mass messaging’ for the day, but doesn’t even have a photo in his profile and oh wait!  Doesn’t even have a profile up at all!  Please enjoy:

Very Lovely Possibility!

I read your posting and found it very attractive and interesting. You are just the kind of lovely younger lady I am seeking with whom to build a happy future life! To tell you more about me:

I am a very young 60, very attractive, very successful and healthy, 5’11”, 200 lbs., black (some gray) hair, deep brown eyes, will send you a photo. Native of Virginia, lived in Newport Beach and Beverly Hills-Westwood area since 1974. I travel widely. I removed my  profile because I was receiving MANY letters from foreign countries. I will be happy to send you my profile text and pictures.

My Very Intense Passions:

1. Magician since age 5, noted collector and performer of antique magic, consultant to many TV shows on historical magic film footage, film & video archivist. Museum scale collection.

2. Individual freedom vs. government controls. I have passionately fought for the former and against the latter for decades. I have a foundation, web site and cable TV show about this. Extensive library on this subject. I have written 5 books, including Klandestine, featured in the movie Ghosts of Mississippi.

3. Alternative or wholistic medicine. Established a foundation to promote it.

4. Romanticist – (mostly older) movies, novels and art – a hero worshipper who is not afraid to cry and loves happy endings. Own 6000 movies on video or film.

For us to have chemistry and love, you don’t have to share the same interests, but you should feel the same intensity and enthusiasm about your own. I sense that you do. That’s why we should talk. I think I’m a very good problem solver, but I promise faithfully to listen with care and empathy to you express your feelings and not simply offer an unsolicited solution that I think is best. I will really hear you always. I believe in unconditional love which means loving someone for the person they are without expecting anything in return. This is Real Love and the only kind that can make a person happy.

I am seeking a lovely and sensuous and intensely passionate lady for sharing unlimited joy and discovery. I would always respect your feelings and personal independence. Tell me more about you!

No limits,

Bill
310-***-****
I’mAnIdiot@talkmatch.com
write me there for pictures

May I call you?

(uh, you bet dipshit sir; my number is 800-you-suck.  Hope to talk to you soon!)

Don’t we sound like a match made in heaven?!

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14 Responses to “And So It Begins……….Again ;-)”

  1. jgavinallan Says:

    Life is a struggle…yours seems to be a war…
    hugs
    Jaye

    • I disagree whole-heartedly with you on this one Jaye. I never view life as a ‘war’ and rarely as a struggle. Now internet dating, that’s a struggle ………..

    • What are you talking about? I think you misread Grey and her posts quite a bit. She has a great life and internet dating is only one aspect of it. Which, as somebody who has been there, the internet dating world is full of struggle… and fun, exhaustion, frustration, you name it… she’s just putting it all out there. It takes somebody with a great attitude and lot of fortitude to keep at it.

  2. mybrightspot Says:

    Oh my… I think you are OBLIGED to respond with some “magic-themed” rejection quips!

  3. Manda Says:

    Oh geez — maybe you should give him a chance. He does have “very intense passions” (as opposed to being only moderately passionate), and everyone knows that being intensely passionate about magic COULD translate into being passionate about, oh, say, bike rides? Or, you could hold out for a guy who tells you: “. . . my mum told me angels were only in heaven. I believed that until now . . . i saw you and i knew I had seen one . . . my heart stopped beating for some seconds and had to catch my breath again so I won’t pass out”. I can give you this guy’s username if you’d like 🙂

    • sorry it took me a while to respond Manda, I had to go throw up after reading that stellar pickup line 😉 thanks for the offer of his screen name, btw, but I’m good 🙂

  4. izziedarling Says:

    Don’t you dare give him ANYTHING. He’s a magician; if he emails you again, ask him to make himself disappear. Hey – this is a weird thing – if I click on you in my blogroll – it goes to main screen and says authors have removed this blog. The only way I can get here is to go through your comments at my place. Weird, eh?

    • Hey Izzie! I changed the url address for my blog a few days ago (security leaks, ya’ know 😉 ) if you change your blogroll link to : myguidetobadinternetdating.wordpress.com it’ll get you here ~ my old addy will take you to a dead page

  5. stevesw Says:

    I disagree that William has not read your profile. The message is written in a ‘PR’ style by someone who has placed themselves on a very high pedestal. I would guess his publicized conspiracy theory mindset turns off women, so he has to explain ‘real love’ up front.

    • ahhhhh, now i get it Steve. thank you! I’m still not responding however 😉 I have been brushing up on my magic however and i’ve made his ability to view my profile disappear!

  6. Surrey gal Says:

    ROFL!!! I won’t be able to sleep, I’m laughing so much.


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