43 & Single – Heaven Help Me, I've Resorted To Internet Dating!

Ridiculous & Random Stories & Thoughts on My Experiences

OMFG! And Other World News ……. June 23, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 9:12 am
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We all know that some idiots guys put really bad pictures of themselves up on their dating profiles.  Pictures taken of themselves in the bathroom mirror, pictures taken from about 2 miles away, pictures taken of their small penis mobiles muscle cars or harleys, out of focus pictures, shirtless pictures, pictures of their er, ‘happy trails’ …. just bad.  Well, I’ve got news for you, I think I have found the worst of the bunch!  I just received notification that ‘Richard likes me’ from Chemistry.  This is never a good sign.  Of course I log on anyway to see who’s attention I am so lucky have captured and I swear to god, I almost fell off my chair!  He has 14 pictures up.  All of himself.  But all of individual body parts!  One of his leg, one of his hand, one of his arm, one of his left eye (complete with creepy as shit stitches above his brow), I of his ear, etc…… It’s so amazingly weird.  And ………. he’s ugly as sin!  I swear to god I am now going to have nightmares about that creepy eye with stitches.  Thanks a lot Chemistry!  And wow Richard.  Really?  You think this is going to find you a woman?


As for the 2 guys who wrote me yesterday from Match.  One is an idiot.  His e-mail was phrased like we were IMing.  Nothing more annoying.  Nothing that makes me want to ignore it more and not respond. 😉  So I didn’t.

The 2nd guy however sends me a long ole message that I really only half read as I was in a bit of a tizzy yesterday (as you all know), so opted to just leave it in my inbox to hold until later.  Not 5 minutes later I get a 2nd message from him letting me know that he knows I read his message, thanking me for doing so, encouraging me to actually write back and letting me know how stunning and amazing I look/sound.  Uh, creepy much?  I know Surrey Gal had a guy do the same thing to her a few days ago but when it was her, I thought it was sort of charming.  When it’s me, uh, that’s just a bit in your face needy doncha think?  I haven’t even read it in full yet nor have I looked at his profile.  I’m afraid to respond in any way shape or form for fear that he will google search the hell out of me and show up on my doorstep if I show any sign of possible interest.  Yikes!


On other non W news, when I was pissed Tuesday night on my way back from happy hour and as I’m apparently the world’s most amazing actress when feigning interest, I called Date #5 of 6 as he had left me a message.  He bored me on our date and he bored me on the phone, yet he invited me to dinner on  Friday.  As I was feeling a bit like shit at the time, I said sure!  Hell, the guy has a great job and he’s bound to take me somewhere yummy, right?  Uh, not so much.  He wants to test my culinary adventurous nature and we’re going for Vietnamese food (which I actually can’t stand because I think it’s sloppy and while spicy, doesn’t have much flavor).  Yey.  So yes, I have a date on Friday.  With someone who although I didn’t hate when I met him last month, I really didn’t lose much sleep over when he disappeared.  I hope they at least serve alcohol at this place. 😉


Oh, and Mr Long Story Short text messaged me last night.  About 15 times.  To let me know how amazing his daughter is and to tell me how much he loves her.  Uh duh, doesn’t that go with the territory in being a dad?  He told me how witty and funny and sarcastic and crazy she is ……. ‘just like US’ he writes.  Uhm ………..


19 Responses to “OMFG! And Other World News …….”

  1. Matthew Says:

    -Are you sure those are pictures of him…or his victims?!?!?!

    -Any guy who writes immeidately after seeing you have read the message should be avoided (in my opinion). Often when I’d read a message from someone on a dating site I wouldn’t have time to respond and get back to it later that day or the next. But really, on the first message?

    -Bummer about the dinner date, though I happen to like Vietnamese food (though I’m not a spicy guy). Order some extra and send me the doggie bag. 😉

    -I have nothing witty to say about Long Story Short. He’s doing fine on his own that he doesn’t need my wit.

    • hahaha Matthew – i did check to see if they were dismembered body parts. 😉 be on the lookout for a dripping box of Pho coming your way this weekend. (is he really trying to teach me about food? that would be like me attempting to teach him about rocket science)

  2. Emilie Says:

    Have to agree with Matthew on the creepy guy that wrote back to you straight after you read only half way… say away from that creep… just the fact that he has pictuers of body parts, tells me he is no good…

    Vietnamese food is not that bad when taken mild 😉 mind you I cant even eat anything that is to spicy because I know I will pay for it later that evening with major hartburn. If he want to “teach” you about food, well that will be stupid as you are a chef.. it proves that hes the one who needs teching about good food 😉

    • I love spicy food, but I also like food that actually tastes good 😉 yeah, pretty silly for him to challenge me regarding food …….. silly man

      the creepy weirdo with the pictures is a different one from the clingy e-mailer, but I do believe it best to steer clear of both 🙂

      • Emilie Says:

        Opps my bad (on the name switching). mind you, I am terrible when it comes to remembering name of people. Have a good time with Mr Long Story Short on friday and if there is alcoholic drinks there, have a drink for me ;).

  3. Don’t act like you didn’t print those photo parts out and try to puzzle together a life size bicycle out of them.

    Maybe LSS thought he was texting the kid’s mother???

  4. everevie Says:

    LOLOL…damn…it’s crap like that which makes us value a guy like “radio-silent” Webby as a treasure.

  5. Surrey gal Says:

    Oh, thank you so much, when it’s me it’s sweet, when it’s you it’s needy??????
    Ok, ok, mine wasn’t so fast, he actually waited few hours. And now he’s asking me what kind of a biscuit I’d be if I could be one…. I told him pringles, once you pop you can’t stop.

    Good luck with Vietnamese alcohol. Have plenty to make going out worth it 🙂

    • LOL Surrey! I swear, I thought it sounded sweet from your guy. Mine was just all …well, weird …… and he did it again too and keeps asking to ‘know anything and everything about me – whatever i wish to share’ …….. icky

  6. jgavinallan Says:

    Correction…Vietnamese food is not spicy…you’re thinking about thai…please
    remember you are eating it here in USA…My friend and Matthew…Viet food is a combination of Asian, with a touch of French flavor…ok?
    Now…I have to admit…your anxiety over these new guys is warranted. I think you should write a book about inter—dating. I think it would make a good horror plot.
    Be careful

    • Uh Jaye, I know the difference and am not thinking about Thai as I actually like Thai food 😉 The way they do Vietnames in AZ is to throw tiny chilis into everything while not having any ‘real’ backup flavors ……. and I don’t like the French style of cooking either, so there 😉

      • jgavinallan Says:

        OK! Let’s pick sides and start to rumble…invest a small amount–like 1600USD or maybe little more for round trip to any city—Quang Binh the best province for food—any restaurant…spend a day then go home—great meal—very inexpensive…just a little high in the plane fare
        tạm biệt…GG… bạn của tôi

  7. Hi,

    I came across your blog tonight and just spent the last few hours catching up. Love your blog!

    I am 39 and single. So clearly I have no idea what I am doing. I know I have no place giving you an opinion but as an outsider I gotta tell you..one single girl to another. Please be guarded and careful with W. Im just not getting a good feeling about him and am afraid he is going to disappoint you.

    Ok I will just say it. I dont like him. The thing that bugs me…married for 12 but only been split for 7 months. He should not be dating anyone. I dont care if it was his wife that wanted to call it quits.

    I know..I know..that stupid feeling you get. Ive had it too so I cant blame you. Just be careful.

    Don’t yell at me:) If I have misunderstood though..then I deserve it.

    • Hi Shades of Matter. Thanks so much for your kind words about my blog (aka screwed up love life/internet dating nightmares) 😉 I would NEVER yell at you for giving me your honest opinion. I appreciate it. I’m worried too. About a lot of things regarding him, but if I don’t at least try, then I’ll never know. It could end up horribly or maybe I could get lucky (ha). I fully realize that 7 months isn’t nearly long enough for him to have processed a lot of what he’s going thru and I’m probably just playing with fire, but I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t do stupid stuff regarding guys. 😉 I hope you stick around and we can both see how this turns out …..

  8. cateohara Says:

    thank you – THANK YOU – for the laugh about parts guy. What a riot. I am very very thankful to be offline for a while. But when (inevitably) I go back, I’ll have your wisdom to take with me. Have fun tonight – if for no other reason, than the fun of being out, and the anticipation of knowing what joy you’ll bring to your readers tomorrow morning (or later tonight) when you blog about it.
    (hey, I agree with you on Vietnamese food…try to enjoy anyway)

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