43 & Single – Heaven Help Me, I've Resorted To Internet Dating!

Ridiculous & Random Stories & Thoughts on My Experiences

So Many Options, So Little Time June 27, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 6:48 pm
Tags: , ,

So the universe must have found out that I have managed to pull my head out of my ass (yes, again) and I received a shitpot of e-mails today from the various pools of societal rejects dating sites that I’m on.

OkStupid was nice enough to inform me that 3 different guys were ‘checking out’ my profile.  Yeah, thanks, now if you could manage to quantify that to 3 different ‘remotely attractive’ guys, I’d be good. 😉  I got an e-mail from some dingbat that I rated 4 stars yesterday.  Remember that OkStupid does the rating game and if you rate someone either 4 or 5 stars and they do the same, then you get an e mail notifying you.  Yesterday was definitely a ‘2’ kinda day.  All but 2 guys got only 2 stars (and believe me, I was being generous with those ratings).  So when I rated this dummy a 4 and he had obviously rated me 5 (duh), we each got an e-mail.  To which he thought he would follow-up with an e-mail of his very own displaying his sparkling wit and personality.  It went something like this: ‘so, did you rate me 4 or 5?’ ……….. no signature, no nothing.  Dumbass.  I wish I could go back and change his rating to a zero. 😉

Mr. ‘I saw you read my e-mail and didn’t respond to me in 32 seconds so thought I would send you a follow up e-mail right away and totally creep you out’, sent me another message today.  Wanting my phone number.  Uh, thanks stalker in the making, I don’t think so.

And then there was this guy and all I can really say is ‘really’????? REALLY???? What the hell is he doing?  Waiting for a firing squad?  Waiting to be crucified?  Working on his tan?

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19 Responses to “So Many Options, So Little Time”

  1. Online Dating Circus Expert Says:

    Hahahaha you have GOT To be kidding!!! Seriously? That is his PHOTO? Hahahaha Ah thanks…I needed a good laugh today!

    And btw, he is obviously waiting for a hug…from you! (not!!!)

  2. jgavinallan Says:

    My friend—do you exercise? I mean do you run for good health?
    If you do—start running now—and do not look back
    Jaye

  3. cateohara Says:

    Oh my god, thanks for the laugh! What a riot. Thanks for including the photo because no description could have done it justice!

  4. ifUseekAmy Says:

    My vote is for firing range (notice the “box” he’s standing in front of? That’s from repainting to get rid of stains from past executions). But he must have received a stay of execution in order to still be online dating, so there has to be something redeeming about him 😉

    Holy shit, that pic is scary.

  5. everevie Says:

    Thanks for the laugh…I needed that! I wonder sometimes what is WRONG with people. Do you think there is a woman somewhere who would go for that guy…not in spite of the photo…but because of it?

    I feel certain there is. And I bet they find each other and live happily ever after.

    • You know there is. Her profile pic is probably of her in a billowy nightie/sundress with wildflowers woven in her hair, sitting in a meadow and smoking a big ole’ doobie ……

  6. Manda Says:

    Duh . . . he’s Superman in disguise. Not his Clark Kent disguise. Clark Kent is kinda hot and he was attracting way too much attention. He had to change his disguise to former rocker dude in a wife beater so he could go about his business of saving the world without getting hit on all the time. He’s obviously holding up the building so it doesn’t fall on the good folk of Metropolis. (I know — I have way too much time on my hands) 🙂

  7. Matthew Says:

    He’s auditioning for Jesus Christ Superstar of course. But modern.

    And what? Asking for a phone number, via e-mail, isn’t proper procedure to people who don’t reply at all from a dating site? 😉 I guess 100% shunning is a sign of interest these days.

    You should just write back to him anyway and say, “Sorry, I’m only here for the quizzes.”

  8. haha Matthew! yeah, i guess i was being too subtle …….. and i love your ‘only here for the quizzes’ line …… i’m so stealing that to use on random dummies 🙂

  9. Surrey gal Says:

    Showing that he is taking care of himself, of course!!! How else could he show you that he is shaving his armpits?
    I shall add that probably he’s shaving (or trimming) his pubes too to make his willie appear bigger.

  10. Victoria Says:

    I actually laughed out loud. 😀 Thank you! I have some FABulous ones to share as well. Hot shit on a shingle.


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