43 & Single – Heaven Help Me, I've Resorted To Internet Dating!

Ridiculous & Random Stories & Thoughts on My Experiences

Sister For Sale ……… Cheap! June 28, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 2:51 pm

Yeah, i know, I’ve already tried to sell my mother on here (thanks for no-one jumping at that stellar offer) but now I would like to offer up my judgemental, fish-wifey, condescending, bitchy, holier than thou twin sister.  As she tells everyone, she got the brains and looks and I got the height.  Yeah.  Unbelievable I shared a womb with that charming individual.  So Sunday was my dad’s birthday.  She was having some ridiculous luncheon at her house and invited her husband’s entire family.  Why?  Who knows.  My sister lives really far, we don’t get along well, I certainly don’t have a great (or even good) relationship with my dad, but as he’s getting older, I figure the least I could do was haul my happy ass down there to drop off a card and a gift, make an appearance, and turn around and come back home.  Where I actually like people. 😉 Here’s my question.  What on earth would possess my twin: same age, less successful, less driven, less well adjusted (i know, hard to believe after my multiple breakdowns this month) with not one ounce of empathy or compassion for anyone outside of her husband and step kids to lecture me on how I am supposed to act around her friggin’ in-laws?  Hello?  I was polite, I smiled and said hello to everyone and then I left.  Why would I want to stay around negative people who I don’t like?

So I called her today to say hello and see how everything went and she started in on me.  And I let her go.  And then I stopped her and told her I really wasn’t in the mood for a lecture as I hadn’t done anything wrong.  So she paused, and then started up again on how everyone was just ‘shocked’ that I didn’t stay.  Really?  Is it that everyone in my family just likes the sound of their own voices so much that they feel the need to ramble on to others just so they can feel better about themselves by dressing down others?

Oh wait, this is supposed to be a testimonial so I can hopefully get her sold into white slavery to a nice deaf family who won’t have to listen to her.  Uh, what if I offer to throw in a batch of brownies as part of the deal?


and just so it can float out here in the blogosphere for all eternity, I give you my utmost passive aggressive e-mail to said sister (we do passive aggressive really well in my family) ~ enjoy!

why on earth would you feel it appropriate or warranted to lecture me on not staying on sunday.  i got there i tried to talk to dad, he continued to read his paper.  i said hi to J & F and as i have nothing to talk to them about that was about it.  i talked to L for a bit.  when C came out of his room, i talked to him about how his weekend was.  when chris, et. al. showed up i smiled and said hello ….. to no response.  i talked to you, i talked to M, it was my only day off and i had no desire to hang out there, so i left.

 i thought it was a nice gesture that i bothered showing up at all ……. and i certainly won’t make that mistake again ……. i’ve been to your house exactly 4 times …….. it’s not my fault that you live so far away and that i don’t like your husband’s family …….. i came to see dad and give him his present ……. i did talk to your kids – if it will make you feel better next time, i will make sure to talk to them right in front of you so you can see it happening ……..

 sorry that you don’t ‘get’ why i didn’t stay ……… you didn’t need to……….. it makes no matter to me ……..i hope you had a nice time with everyone ……….

 and i’ll go ahead and call bullshit on everyone being ‘shocked’ that i didn’t stay ………


17 Responses to “Sister For Sale ……… Cheap!”

  1. Cousin Bette Says:

    Sorry! No takers here. 😉 You are on your own, pal.

  2. jgavinallan Says:

    My buddy…I think you need a b/f with a great family…
    Maybe you need to be adopted before you find the right guy?


  3. Emilie Says:

    Sorry to hear that you been jugged for no reason. Is it me or is there quite a few sister dislike or disagreements in the blogosphere world?!?! However I do understand where you are coming from, I am also having the same type of relation/reaction with my own sister.

  4. First, make it zero-calorie-but-yummy oatmeal raisin cookies instead of brownies and I might not be able to resist.

    Second, it’s sad to hear this, about your twin no less. Mind you, I don’t think I have heard of very many non-identical twins that DO get along. Looking at my girls … My oldest daughter gets on somewhat with her two sisters. My two youngest ones love each other to bits and I hope they stay this way forever. I feel that if I can bring up sisters that love each other and become part of a bigger extended family as they marry and have their own kids, my job is done, and I’ll happily step aside for the next generation.

  5. You’ve got my sympathy. I won’t lie and say I know how you feel, because honestly I don’t. I have a close relationship with both my brothers and although I can definitely be very annoyed with them it’s never something that evolves into fights or even arguments. Reading your blog just makes me appreciate them even more (though don’t tell them whatever you do 😉 ).

  6. everevie Says:

    I’m pretty sure I offered to trade you both my mothers for your one…and you said no. My offer still stands though. Think about it.

    And I’d like to offer another trade…3 sisters for your 1 sister: I’ll give you 1 highly judgy, cold, snobby sister….1 prescription drug-addicted, child-abandoning, jobless, homeless sister…and 1 sweet but useless couch-potato, 350lb, hypochondriac sister for your ONE twin.

    3 for 1! How can you beat that. I would throw in my two brothers and youngest sister…but they’re all okay…so I guess I’ll keep them.

    • uh Evie, why on earth would I choose to multiply my craptastic relatives? If you think you’re pawning your clan off on me, then you also get my self righteous stoner sister and the artsy fartsy one that can’t function in the real world 🙂

  7. The T Says:

    does she have a nice rack? Can she live with duct tape over her mouth if she bores me to tears with incessant talking? For now, i’m simply counting on nice racks running in your family…oh wait, speaking of racks, ellen, i still think you owe me pics…


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