I get a message yesterday from some random idiot guy from Match and although it was very nice, I couldn’t tell if it was a ‘form’ message or not, so I was going to write back calling him out on it (well shit, I have to get in my 5 mandatory messages to new guys each month so as not to invalidate the ‘loser clause’ in order to be rewarded my 6 months free as a pity prize for not being able meet a decent guy during my 1st 6 months – yeah, well aware, i’m a loser) but I decided to read his profile first. Uh, in addition to being more of a tome than a simple snippet of his personality, it was uber bitter! Holy cow! He must have had no less than 20 must haves and must not haves (reminiscent of that bitchy profile I put up briefly last year). So in addition to asking about whether or not he had even bothered to read my profile, I asked him is he just has a really dry sense of humor or if he has a big ole’ chip on his shoulder. Oh stop acting surprised, I do shit like this all the time. ;-). As his response, he waxed poetic about how awesome my profile is (’cause it really is) and avoided addressing anything about his own. Not sure what to make of that. Or that I even care.
Here’s what he wrote to me and honestly, it is amazingly complimentary (aside from the fact that he actually felt the need to explain what self-deprecating, which he spelled wrong, means to me), but not sure what to do as his own profile is still pretty darn harsh.
Glad you wrote back. No, life is much to short to go around with a “great big chip” on my shoulder. I was simply impressed with your profile. It is a bit more sophisticated when some one is able to use self-deprication (tongue-in-cheek) and make fun of her own imperfections. Don’t try reading anymore into it. You are very pretty (and likely out of my league) yet you have a superb personality and it shows. Not everyone (nor even the majority) can make the words come alive and present a picture and personality in a few paragraphs; you did it very well and that’s all I meant.
Now, if you’d like to buy me a cup of coffee, I’ll let you 😉
If I don’t hear from you, have a great Holiday weekend and good luck on this site. I hope we each find the one who takes our breath away….but I’m not holding mine 😉
What do you think? Is a very complimentary message enough to over-ride a really negative sounding profile? I’m a bit perplexed (which means confused 😉 )
.
. *edited to add that NO, I do not have that bitchy profile still up – that only lasted a week 😉 *
The Life & Times of a 54 Year Old Online Dater 
YES!!!
First of all, those aren’t just compliments. They’re intelligent compliments (spelling mistake aside 😉 )!
Second, bitter can be good. At least bitter and intelligent together can be good. Or fun.
So maybe he’s a bit picky (I don’t know what his must have/must not have list looks like). But I think he’s definitely worth a follow up message!!
😉 Thanks BAS. I don’t know. I’m just so f*ing wishy washy about everything these days. Not sure yet what I’m going to do about this one as I don’t even know if I find him attractive ……. I’ll keep ya’ posted though
Well, I don’t know. Although the first part is very nice the joke about you buying him coffee – poor taste I think. It’s not even funny.
I would write back to him to try to figure him out a bit more, but my gut instinct is telling me there wouldn’t be much going on with this one.
As for that profile of yours, oh my gosh!!! That’s like a litany!! I think it’s good you changed it, am I right? xx
haha – i went thru a bit of a ‘bitter’ phase last year and got sick of all the idiots so thought i’d try to scare them off …….. it worked 😉 too well …
my new profile is really pretty good – they’d have no clue that i’m a bitter, bitchy, neurotic mess 🙂
Trade ‘he’ll let you buy him coffee’ for ‘you will allow him to buy you an alcoholic beverage’ and go for it.
ha! i’ll see what i can do ……..
Good answer! He might not have great English skills, but he’s trying; he seems sincere.
He sounds like a keeper…or at least a tryer outer…
Jaye
I can’t spell either…and I am a great date…lol
tryer outer maybe …….. i have yet to meet a keeper …….. well …….
I would say definitely play with him more and see how he handles it 🙂 Sounds interesting!!
In defense of negative profiles. if you recall, I have added extremely negative comments to mine at a few points too – only after the scene was so intensely brutal. That said, I have been in your shoes too and it is a bit odd stumbling across someone like that. As you and I can both attest to, a guy could be hot with a wicked profile and turn out to be just another jackass. So, follow your gut. 😉
He sounds both insecure and rude. Perfect!!