So I’m standing outside crappy Starbucks waiting for my date that I wasn’t particularly excited about meeting (I blame all of you for making me go 😉 ) when he pulls up. And any hope I had that he just wasn’t photogenic flew out the window. He gets out of his car and starts walking towards me, beer belly and all. Bald head gleaming in the sunlight. Glasses sitting fairly crooked on his nose. Good times.
He sticks out his hand for a handshake and we all know that I’m a hugger (for some odd reason), but for him, a handshake was just fine and dandy. We get coffees (oh, have I mentioned I don’t even like coffee?) and sit down. And have absolutely nothing to talk about. I had hoped that since his messages to me were pretty funny, that we’d at least have a funny conversation. Yeah, not so much. I am a great conversationalist. I will fill in any awkward pause or silence with some inane comment or question, but I really didn’t feel like it. I’m not sure what the opposite of chemistry would be, but we definitely had it. He’s telling me about his school and his bad dates and I’m thinking this couldn’t get any worse when he asks it. My all time least favorite question. ‘So, what’s the story of you?’. Is that in some sort of handbook or something that guys ask such an asininely general question and hope that the other person will just wax on about their entire life, their hopes and dreams, their fears, their food allergies, their favorite color? I mean really? As I had no interest in prolonging the date I charmingly ask ‘wow, that’s a general question, shall I start with birth?’. To which he gives me a semi ‘fuck off and die’ look.
When we hit our 15th awkward pause of the stilted conversation he says ‘well, it seems that the conversation has dried up’. To which I enthusiastically respond ‘yup, it sure has, but thanks for the coffee’. And off he went. At least he didn’t actually run out the door like Fancy Pants (that asshole) did, but I actually wouldn’t have minded if he had. So there you have it (pay attention Surrey Gal), the story of my 37 minute long date with Chip On His Shoulder Guy (which was 36 minutes too long). 😉
HOWEVER, here’s a fun update. I just spoke with tall, dark & handsome on the phone and he was really nice and funny and we made plans to meet on Thursday. And then he asked what I was doing tonight. So we’re meeting tonight instead! 🙂 A twofer day! So thanks Mr Chip On Your Shoulder for setting the bar really low for this date to be MUCH better than yours! 🙂