43 & Single – Heaven Help Me, I've Resorted To Internet Dating!

Ridiculous & Random Stories & Thoughts on My Experiences

36 Minutes Too Long July 3, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 3:41 pm
Tags: , , ,

So I’m standing outside crappy Starbucks waiting for my date that I wasn’t particularly excited about meeting (I blame all of you for making me go 😉 ) when he pulls up.  And any hope I had that he just wasn’t photogenic flew out the window.  He gets out of his car and  starts walking towards me, beer belly and all.  Bald head gleaming in the sunlight.  Glasses sitting fairly crooked on his nose.  Good times.

He sticks out his hand for a handshake and we all know that I’m a hugger (for some odd reason), but for him, a handshake was just fine and dandy.  We get coffees (oh, have I mentioned I don’t even like coffee?) and sit down.  And have absolutely nothing to talk about.  I had hoped that since his messages to me were pretty funny, that we’d at least have a funny conversation.  Yeah, not so much.  I am a great conversationalist.  I will fill in any awkward pause or silence with some inane comment or question, but I really didn’t feel like it.  I’m not sure what the opposite of chemistry would be, but we definitely had it.  He’s telling me about his school and his bad dates and I’m thinking this couldn’t get any worse when he asks it.  My all time least favorite question.  ‘So, what’s the story of you?’.  Is that in some sort of handbook or something that guys ask such an asininely general question and hope  that the other person will just wax on about their entire life, their hopes and dreams, their fears, their food allergies, their favorite color?  I mean really?  As I had no interest in prolonging the date I charmingly ask ‘wow, that’s a general question, shall I start with birth?’.  To which he gives me a semi ‘fuck off and die’ look. 

When we hit our 15th awkward pause of the stilted conversation he says ‘well, it seems that the conversation has dried up’.  To which I enthusiastically respond ‘yup, it sure has, but thanks for the coffee’.  And off he went.  At least he didn’t actually run out the door like Fancy Pants (that asshole) did, but I actually wouldn’t have minded if he had.  So there you have it (pay attention Surrey Gal), the story of my 37 minute long date with Chip On His Shoulder Guy (which was 36 minutes too long). 😉

.

HOWEVER, here’s a fun update.  I just spoke with tall, dark & handsome on the phone and he was really nice and funny and we made plans to meet on Thursday.  And then he asked what I was doing tonight.  So we’re meeting tonight instead! 🙂 A twofer day! So thanks Mr Chip On Your Shoulder for setting the bar really low for this date to be MUCH better than yours! 🙂

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18 Responses to “36 Minutes Too Long”

  1. Cousin Bette Says:

    ” I charmingly ask ‘wow, that’s a general question, shall I start with birth?'” Rofl! I’m so going to steal that! I might even pep it up a bit further if they really piss me off. Hope your twofer is an improvement!

    • It’s all yours Bette 😉 I’ve found it to be quite effective when wanting to draw a quick end to a bad date 🙂

      Hope my two-fer is an improvement too – he looks pretty handsome in his pics, but we all know that doesn’t mean much 😉

  2. stevesw Says:

    At least you thanked him for the coffee. Oh, I would avoid that Starbucks for a while because I would hate to a posting “So I get to the counter with tall, dark, and hansom, and the girl says “We thought you should know the fat guy you were with was back and tried to hit on a blind woman in the line…her dog bit his ugly ass.”

    • stevesw Says:

      Sorry about the typos (Caugh) my fingers are not (Caugh) cooperating. (Caugh) while you are enjoying yourself, I’m spending my three days off of work (Caugh) enjoying a cold.

    • LMAO Steve! That would would by hysterical but this one is a grown up date complete with grown up beverages all the way across town, so no chance of running into the fat guy 😉

      Sorry you’re sick 😦 And my boring weekend hasn’t turned out so bad after all …….

      No worries about the typos either – you’ve seen my posts & comments for crying out loud. I live for typos!

      Feel better!

  3. Online Dating Circus Expert Says:

    OMG GG! Yucky date. Yay for a twofer! Fingers xd for good reports!

  4. You should have saved your ten dollar gift card from Irish Guy and told Fatty-Dumpy this one was on you.

  5. LOL Waste of time driving there. I have thought about that so many times. Money wasted on gas, a drink…my precious time! Someone needs to come up with an online dating insurance plan! We need compensation 🙂

    Have fun tonight!!!

  6. jgavinallan Says:

    Talk about resilient…good rebound
    Jaye

  7. Online Dating Circus Expert Says:

    GG – check out this song when you have a chance. I was re-living the old club days of the 90s and the lyrics are so pertinent for us! http://youtu.be/Lwaxy3KCfgQ

  8. Surrey gal Says:

    I read the next post, so I already know that tall dark wasn’t fun and charming. How could he be on the phone and then in real life such a boring half brainer????
    What a brilliant ending to the beer belly date! The conversation has dried up, yep, but thanks for the coffee!!! You rock 🙂


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