43 & Single – Heaven Help Me, I've Resorted To Internet Dating!

Ridiculous & Random Stories & Thoughts on My Experiences

If Only…. July 6, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 12:23 pm
Tags: , ,

If only I could train my brain to treat ALL dates the same (well except for the extra shitty ones – they deserve to be treated like the waste of time that they are 😉 ).  We all know how I tend to obsess over think things when I like a guy.  I can go out, have a great time, know he had a great time and still freak out if I don’t hear from him 2 days later.  So annoying!  Conversely, I can go out with a perfectly nice guy, have a perfectly nice time, look forward to seeing him again and be absolutely fine if he doesn’t call me for another 2 weeks.  Why, why, why can’t I be that cavalier about all of them?!  I realize sure, with a guy I like I can’t wait to see him again, but c’mon dating gods, shouldn’t there be a happy medium somewhere?

Case in point.  Mr Conservative, Mr Long Story Short & The Cowboy.  Had a good time with all of them.  Mr Long Story Short texts me maybe once a week and has yet to suggest another meet up.  I’m absolutely fine with that and haven’t lost a wink of sleep.  Mr Conservative likes me too.  I haven’t heard from him since last week and nope, haven’t lost sleep over him either.  Liked The Cowboy and had a good time, but don’t really care if I see him again or not.  Really?  Is a toe curling kiss and an anticipation of a stellar bike ride enough to turn a (usually) somewhat perfectly rational human being into a ridiculously annoying weirdo?  Why can’t I train my brain to just let things go and go with the flow?

Even if someone who shall remain nameless hadn’t have been such a fucking flake and actually followed through on what he said, I guarantee I still would have turned into a blathering idiot and screwed things up.  I don’t know what’s worse; being totally ‘meh’ about a guy and being able to go with the flow, or being all psyched about a guy and turning into a dumbass?  Yes, I know, the reasonable answer would be to take from both.  Try to be ‘meh’ about the guy you’re totally into, but apparently that’s not how my mind is wired. 

*sigh*  I wonder if there’s some sort of lobotomy that might help. 😦


14 Responses to “If Only….”

  1. jgavinallan Says:

    Where I come from, people believe in spirits. The reason that the belief is still embraced is due to a peaceful acceptance of life. You go on and struggle with your daily routine in life or be matched by parents to your future spouse (maybe that is what you need…oh no…I remember your family) not worrying or thinking of the outcome. The gods of the sky or forrest or jungle or water play with your life, so no use in being psyched up or being a blathering idiot.
    Jaye—live and enjoy

    • wow Jaye, that’s quite metaphysical (and a little too spiritual for me). sounds like a nice way to be, but not likely i’ll ever be like that 😉 oh, and hell no on my family finding me a husband! ack!

  2. everevie Says:

    I can be of no help because our brains apparently were built in the same factory. Mine’s wired the exact same way.

    Jaye…so the sky, jungle, water, forest gods don’t take into consideration what I want? That’s just rude! I’m always hugging trees…you’d think that forest god would be on my side! 🙂

    • jgavinallan Says:

      I know your question was meant to be humorous and it was…but what I meant was that there are so many factors in life that dictate what occurs, it really is a waste of time to worry.
      But—to be honest, as I talk…I am feeling a little like GG concerning a certain person.
      Guess I have become civilized?

  3. Surrey gal Says:

    Out of the two it’s better not to care, I think. At least you don’t suffer and perhaps one can get used to this state of mind?

    • I don’t know though SG. Do I want to go thru life being ‘kinda happy’ about a guy? If I do, then I have a several that I could call up right now 😉

      • I agree Grey. It’s better to care and hurt and than not care and protect one’s heart. Life hurts but the ride is fun and worth the memories. I wouldn’t trade any spoiled relationship and broken heart for an easier time, and I regret the things I didn’t pursue harder.

      • Surrey gal Says:

        Kinda happy is not good either, but out of the two of them, I’d rather not hurt (sorry SD, I disagree with you). I hurt shit loads few years back and I wouldn’t wish that on the worst kind of enemy.
        You are lucky you have several you could be kinda happy with, I have null 😮

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