43 & Single – Heaven Help Me, I've Resorted To Internet Dating!

Ridiculous & Random Stories & Thoughts on My Experiences

Need A Writing Coach? July 12, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 2:45 pm
Tags: , ,

So I was the lucky recipient of not one, not two, but 7 random messages from guys on my multitude of dating website today.  It must be a full moon or something.  Don’t go getting all excited now, as all of them pretty much sucked.  And to prove that point, here are the ‘best’ three.  Nice to be awarded best of the worst status, huh?

The 1st is granted, a very cute message (in a completely corny ‘cut and paste’-ish sorta way, but does mention cooking, so he could have actually read my profile; I doubt it though).  Too bad he looks like the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man ……..

You have very beautiful eyes filled with friendliness and affection. Please, do a public service and publish more pictures of your eyes!

It looks like you travel by a variety of ways: sand, sun & ocean. Unfortunately, we won’t be able to get together anytime soon because I’m an astronaut.

It must take lots of energy to keep-up with so much activity, you must get hungry! … Maybe I can cook for you sometime?

You have a fantastic smile!

Bachelor #2 has the world’s worst photo up.  It’s of him, after some sort of race, at the finishing line.  From about a mile away and hugely pixelated so I have not one clue what he actually looks like.  I am also wondering how excactly he ‘read’ my pictures……… Oh and yeah, I know what ‘fun’ is a codeword for ……..

I really enjoyed reading your profile and photos! I’ve just returned to the area and I’m looking to meet new, fun people!

Bachelor #3 has a very nice smile however has 24 photos of himself up.  TWENTY FOUR!  Sorry, but just as only one picture is a red flag, how much must this guy absolutely love himself to post 24?  And of course, several of them are of him, shirtless.  Nice.  His is a total ‘cut and paste’ message as well and as for the ‘chatting’?  Ick, if he suggests IM, I’m blocking him.

Hi
How are you?
I like your profile and you have very nice Pic’s.
Would you like to chat sometime?

.

C’mon guys.  I need you to step it up a bit here…………..Yeah, I won’t be responding to any of them 😉

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10 Responses to “Need A Writing Coach?”

  1. Cousin Bette Says:

    Quite right! Yeugh. Next! Also – bachelor 3’s ‘Pic’s’ would really irritate me…

  2. jgavinallan Says:

    keep on fighting—your round(boxing term) will come
    Jaye

  3. stevesw Says:

    Your smille musts be nise
    Your prophile is likely just as nise
    Your intrests are probbly funner
    Do you wants to have fun with me
    We can teach each other new ways to have fun
    At your place because my mom has twenty cats and they gets in the way
    Ps, I hope my PHD dose not down you

  4. Matthew Says:

    I’m more curious about the capitalization of ‘Pics’. Do you know someone/something named Pics therefore justifying the assignment of identity?

  5. Janet in Philly Says:

    GG, I think it’s time you started asking these guys to post photos of their hands, finger length being indicative of aggressiveness and ‘other’ things.
    http://www.lovematters.info/long-ring-finger-big-penis


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