43 & Single – Heaven Help Me, I've Resorted To Internet Dating!

Ridiculous & Random Stories & Thoughts on My Experiences

Tutor For Hire July 14, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 2:25 pm
Tags: , ,

There’s one thing I’m not modest about.  My online profile is friggin’ awesome.  It’s funny, it’s witty, it’s informative, it’s not slutty or tacky or misspelled or grammatically incorrect (like many of my blog posts).  It’s honest and up front and pretty much says who I am and what I’m looking for in an entertaining way.  It gives you an idea of my personality, my sense of humor, my hard headedness and above all, my ability to trip over absolutely nothing.  It makes me sound approachable.  Which I actually am, contrary to all those that have told me that I’m ‘intimidating’ whatever the hell that means.  Nowhere in there though does it even hint at the fact that I am willing to mentor newbies to the world of online dating.

Sure, my blog is all about online dating and I am more than willing to mentor away on here (if you’re smart it will be a do as I say, not as I do sorta thing), but to a guy who’s contacting me on a dating website?  Really?  Mr. (not so) TallDark has been e-mailing me.  Not with ‘getting to know you’ sorta questions, but with questions about the whole internet dating thing.  At 1st I thought he was just trying to get a handle on how it’s been and who I’m really looking for (and if he can figure that out, I hope to hell he fills me in), but NO.  He’s trying to glean information about the whole process.  Because he’s new to it.  And wants tips.  Uh, hello?  I have gone out with guys who are newly back into dating and brand spanking new to the craptastic world of internet dating.  I’ve even liked a couple of them.  None of them have worked out well.  None.  Well sure, most of my dates haven’t worked out well (all their fault, I assure you).  I have no desire, however to fill guys in on how to pick up other women when they’re contacting ME on a dating site.

Invite me out for a drink douchebag and if I decide that I am not interested (as I inevitably will), then I’ll give you some pointers.  Until that time though, my mentoring services are not available.  I’m all booked up.  With falling for the wrong guys.  Again, do as I say, not as I do people.  I’m tellin’ ya! 😉


4 Responses to “Tutor For Hire”

  1. jgavinallan Says:

    GG: I think you are the greatest internet dater of all time. No wonder all the men want….and need you.

  2. everevie Says:

    I need you Grey. I need you to go on my dates for me. Pre-screen them. Pre-make out with them.

    How bout it?

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