43 & Single – Heaven Help Me, I've Resorted To Internet Dating!

Ridiculous & Random Stories & Thoughts on My Experiences

Plagiarism At It’s Very Best (Or Worst …. you decide) July 15, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 8:56 am
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So those of you (all 2 that is) that have been with me for a while may remember my uber pessimistic ‘friend‘ who compared internet dating to ordering a pizza.  Complete with your choice of toppings!  Totally classic in a fucked up sort of way.  Well anyway, we haven’t spoken in months.  He called me last night as he’s back on Match after taking a several month hiatus.  I swear, this guy makes me sound like Suzie Sunshine regarding online dating.  Sure, I remain optimistic in all of this (or at least try to, otherwise I will end up in a crumpled mess in the corner of the room highly medicated), but he is always always always doom and gloom (and has always thought that Paul was a clueless douche too, which I can’t disagree with him at this point).  But it makes me laugh.  Anyway, he’s always trying to figure out how he can get more women to contact him.  Oookaaay…… and he thinks he’s found the perfect solution.  You had better sit down before reading this as I almost fell off my chair.  I had NO IDEA that people did this.

He google searched ‘online dating profiles’, found one he liked and cut and pasted it as his own profile!  What.  The.  Hell.  Really?  I was/am totally flabbergasted.  I said, ‘but it’s not you’ and he goes ‘who cares?  i’ve never had more women contact me’.  Oh my god!  I think I’m still in shock.  I then follow up with ‘talk is cheap and what are you going to do when they figure out that you don’t match what you said?’ and he goes ‘I’ll let you know when it happens’.  Uhm, ’cause although he’s currently ‘working’ 6 girls on Match right now, he has yet to meet a single one in person!  What an idiot!


8 Responses to “Plagiarism At It’s Very Best (Or Worst …. you decide)”

  1. This is hilarious!

    Once in a while I have had a long shopping list, arrived at the grocery store, and found myself blocked by some stray shopping trolley filled with someone else’s groceries. A teensy part of me has thought about throwing away my list, taking their temporarily-abandon trolley to the cashier, and just eating whatever they put in the trolley. But, that is wrong on so many levels!! (So, for the record, I’ve never done it … beside what if they selected anchovies? Or pickles? BLECCHH!!)

    Square or cube the shopping trolley dilemma and your friend/acquaintance/disowned party has stepped past that marker!

    And the really funny thing is that, in a different context, this actually happened to me! Yes! I applied for a job, they booked me for an interview, I showed up and off they went.

    Them: So, about SAP…for how long have you been implementing it?
    Me: Err.
    Them: Hmm. What about PeopleSoft and ESB/SOA links to something-I’ve-never-heard-of
    Me: Umm.
    Me: Why are you asking me about these things? Isn’t this a Project Manager interview?
    Them: Because they’re right here on your Resume!
    Me: No, I’m sure they’re not.
    Them: Yes they are.
    Me: No they’re not.
    Them: Are.
    Me: Not.
    Me: Is there any chance that maybe you have the wrong Resume?
    Them: So you’re not Joe Something?
    Me: You do recall greeting me with “Hi Sean” when I walked in, right?
    Them: Right. So…did we select you for interview based on your actual Resume or this one?
    Me: How the #$%@ would I know?
    Them: Good point. Well put.
    Them: How about we just throw this Resume away. Do you happen to have a copy of yours with you?
    Me: Sure. Her you go.
    Me (to myself): Although, for damn sure, not for THIS reason!
    Them: Wow! Much better! Man, you’d be a great fit for this job.
    Them: Right. Of course. Shall we start again?
    Me: Phew! Yes!
    And here I am today…

    What we learn from this is that if he lies, he is going to be BURNED. But, if he makes out this is an unexplained mistake by the dating site, who knows…maybe it will work out even better for him. Provided he has the basic things right, like sex, race, age, etc.

  2. Matthew Says:

    Sounds like it could be a series of really good stories though. ‘Dating the Other Me I’ve Never Met; A Story on Dating My Multiple Personality.’

    Boo Yaa! I’ll take my $1,000,000 now. 😉

    • check’s in the mail, my friend 😉

      the best part is, he read me part of ‘his’ profile and it’s witty and charming and funny and upbeat …… all things he’s not :-X I have no clue how he thinks he’s going to be able to pull this off ……

  3. Un-freakin believeable! This stuff soo pisses me off. When are they going to grow up? Complete idiot! Lying is always a great way to start off right? – no wonder we girls have such a hard time.

    You get what you give and I hope to hell some girl really let’s him have what he really deserves.

    • Grey Goose, Dirty Says:

      I don’t disagree with you. Unless the women are complete idiots, he wont make it past the e-mail phase

  4. jgavinallan Says:

    When it comes to this stuff…I am clueless…reading this post sent me to get aspirins…

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