43 & Single – Heaven Help Me, I've Resorted To Internet Dating!

Ridiculous & Random Stories & Thoughts on My Experiences

Warped Self Image July 16, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 5:08 pm

No, not mine you big sillies.  As I was at the pool today having impure thoughts about all the hard bodied young men peacefully tanning, an announcement comes overhead.  For a bikini contest.  Haha NO, I did not enter, however I can also say that more than half of those that did should not have entered.  This is Vegas.  Home of the surgically enhanced, petite pole dancer entertainer.  You’d think that the competition would be stiff.  Yeah, not so much.

Now before you call me out for being all judgy (’cause I am), I hold no illusions about myself.  I see things pretty clearly.  I am in pretty decent shape for an old fart, but I am nowhere near where I was when I was younger and I am well aware that no-one wants to see me shake my bootie while wearing a bikini.  Even if they did, I wouldn’t do it.  Here’s the thing though.  Most of the *ahem* contestants were young.  In their 20s.  And they had horrible bodies!  Why would they get up on a stage and do that.  Sure, everyone has imperfections and that’s what makes us all unique, but really?  If you’re 30lbs overweight and wearing an ill fitting bikini that not only accentuates your muffin top and you haven’t done a single squat in your life, please; for the love of god, do not enter a bikini contest!  Some of us are now going to be traumatized by those visions.

And because I love you all, I thought I’d traumatize you too.  Yup, I’m a giver. And these were the best of the group. Just consider yourselves lucky that I couldn’t get my zoom to work 😉



9 Responses to “Warped Self Image”

  1. Emilie Says:

    Ahh, I can see where you said that you can see the accentuates of the muffin tops…. No need for a voom to see those. And even though I am in my mid 20’s and 10 pounds under the weight I should be, I would not even entered that bikini contest…

  2. jgavinallan Says:

    GG: They have to make you look like princess…

  3. jsh0608 Says:

    I know I’m not all that and a bag of chips, yet…hehehe I would not have entered in that. Unless of course I saw all them muffin tops and I would be sure to win. Ok ok jj. But yeah I would think these ladies would not have entered. And as much as I like a person who is in love with themself no matter the shape, they really need to put others into consideration too. So who won???

  4. Surrey gal Says:

    I wouldn’t have a chance, my boobs are way to small for any bikini contests.

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