43 & Single – Heaven Help Me, I've Resorted To Internet Dating!

Ridiculous & Random Stories & Thoughts on My Experiences

My Luck Continues July 25, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 1:07 pm
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As I was walking out the door for work this morning, an e-mail from TallDark hit my mailbox.  *cue big goofy grin* Until I read it.  Although it was a lovely e-mail (very sweet and kind), the gist of it is that he’s not over his last relationship and isn’t ready to date again.  He cancelled his Match membership and apparently has cancelled me. 😦

He paid me the very nice compliment of restoring his faith in dating and I can pretty much say the same for him.  It’s really too bad that the one guy since Webster (yeah whatever) that I’ve met that I truly enjoyed meeting, who I was excited to get to know better and who I didn’t compare to W in any way shape or form (nor did he even cross my mind while with TallDark) is now unavailable.

Damn.  Since his message to me was so nice and I could tell how badly he felt, I responded back to him.  And he responded back to me, and well, here they are:

From Him To Me:

Good Morning, hope you had a good weekend.  I was very busy with kids and doing a little soul searching. After 2 weeks on Match I started avoiding phone calls, postponing email responses, avoiding chats, and not wanting to set up anymore dates. Basically I have come to the conclusion that I have not gotten over my previous relationship. It was long and heavily involved my kids, so its hard to start over….and my actions have told me that I’m not ready. I will be leaving Match today and not wasting anymore people’s time….especially yours. I’m sincerely sorry for not following thru, but my heart is not in this right now. I wish I would have realized this sooner, but its all new to me.  It was a pleasure meeting you, and I felt more comfortable with you that anyone else in a long time. Best of luck on your search and maybe our paths will cross again someday. For what its worth, it was very, very hard for me to write the email.

From Me To Him

Hi TallDark,

Well, I’ll be honest in that this wasn’t what I was hoping to read from you today, but very much appreciate you letting me know.  I’m sorry that you’re having a difficult time moving on from your past relationship, I know how that goes.

You didn’t waste my time at all.  You paid me the lovely compliment of giving you hope in dating again; probably one of the nicest things that someone has told me.  I can absolutely say the same thing to you.  It’s been a long time since I’ve met someone that I enjoyed meeting so much and was looking forward to getting to know.  I don’t write this to make you feel bad in any way, but quite the contrary.  From what I do know, I think you’re pretty terrific and when you’re ready to date again, someone’s going to be very lucky.

I too hope that our paths meet again in the future.  You’re more than welcome to keep in touch if you’d like.  You can never have too many friends, right?

From Him Back To Me:

Thank you for being very gracious. I was scared to open your email thinking you were going to rip me a new one. Cause I feel like I have that coming. I wrote an email to only one other person who I felt I owed an explanation. Same response. Very appreciative of the honesty. I feel bad for everyone if there is that much dishonesty out there. But this is me being naive again.

Ditto for me on the communication. Feel free to contact me anytime. If you want a man’s perspective, need to vent, have a horror story to share….its all good.

Well Im off to rehab for 6 to 12 months (thats how long im told i need to wait to date), so take care and keep in touch.

As someone needed to break the e-mail cycle, I did not respond to his last one.  There’s really nothing to say.  Why did I suggest we keep in touch?  Well that would be because if and when he decides that he is ready, willing and able to date again, I’d like a shot.  But it sounds as if there was another person in the running too, so damn her and I hope she doesn’t keep in touch. 😉


Oh, and can I just tell you that both TallDark and Webster have now told me that I’m gracious.  I can only deduce that ‘gracious’ is some sort of dating codeword for ‘I like you, just not enough to actually date you’ ………. awesome.  So glad I have such a fan club started out there ……..


10 Responses to “My Luck Continues”

  1. everevie Says:


    Now I’m disappointed too. Not that this has anything, at all, to do with me…but you know how self-involved I am.

    Actually…I just want something to happen for you. Something awesome, with someone awesome. Sometime SOON.

    I do think it was shockingly polite of him to write that email…which, in the end, actually makes him even more desirable. I hope you do keep in contact with him…b/c one of these days, he’s gonna be ready to date…and if you haven’t been taken by the aforementioned “someone awesome”…you’ll be right there…easy pickins. Lol.

    • Thanks Evie. Makes my previous post about remaining optimistic a little tougher to convince myself of. If he wasn’t so amazingly nice and good hearted, I could convince myself that he is an ass, but he isn’t …….. my luck with ‘timing’ continues ……. I thought he was a really really good one ……. and he is, just not available 😦

      and yeah, i’m sure i’ll still be on the f*ing market when he’s ready; however long that takes ……. 😉

  2. jgavinallan Says:

    I think tall dark and goofy is a waste..sorry…that is my opinion

  3. ‘Gracious Goose’..that sucks. Although I respect him for sending you the email and not leave you hanging for days. Thank you for sharing the e-mail dialogue between the both of you. The exchange between both of you was very sweet. I hope you both do keep in touch..and the rest well…who knows right?

  4. Surrey gal Says:

    Oh, crap :(. Seriously, why is it like this all the time???
    At least he was honest, so that’s nice of him… and nice that it’s not you, it’s him 🙂

  5. Online Dating Circus Expert Says:

    Aww crap! 😦 Well, if anything is to be positive here is that you didn’t end up with him and THEN find out he wasn’t over her. Oops, I think that my was ex-marriage…

    It sucks for you 😦

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