As I was walking out the door for work this morning, an e-mail from TallDark hit my mailbox. *cue big goofy grin* Until I read it. Although it was a lovely e-mail (very sweet and kind), the gist of it is that he’s not over his last relationship and isn’t ready to date again. He cancelled his Match membership and apparently has cancelled me. 😦
He paid me the very nice compliment of restoring his faith in dating and I can pretty much say the same for him. It’s really too bad that the one guy since Webster (yeah whatever) that I’ve met that I truly enjoyed meeting, who I was excited to get to know better and who I didn’t compare to W in any way shape or form (nor did he even cross my mind while with TallDark) is now unavailable.
Damn. Since his message to me was so nice and I could tell how badly he felt, I responded back to him. And he responded back to me, and well, here they are:
From Him To Me:
Good Morning, hope you had a good weekend. I was very busy with kids and doing a little soul searching. After 2 weeks on Match I started avoiding phone calls, postponing email responses, avoiding chats, and not wanting to set up anymore dates. Basically I have come to the conclusion that I have not gotten over my previous relationship. It was long and heavily involved my kids, so its hard to start over….and my actions have told me that I’m not ready. I will be leaving Match today and not wasting anymore people’s time….especially yours. I’m sincerely sorry for not following thru, but my heart is not in this right now. I wish I would have realized this sooner, but its all new to me. It was a pleasure meeting you, and I felt more comfortable with you that anyone else in a long time. Best of luck on your search and maybe our paths will cross again someday. For what its worth, it was very, very hard for me to write the email.
From Me To Him
Well, I’ll be honest in that this wasn’t what I was hoping to read from you today, but very much appreciate you letting me know. I’m sorry that you’re having a difficult time moving on from your past relationship, I know how that goes.
You didn’t waste my time at all. You paid me the lovely compliment of giving you hope in dating again; probably one of the nicest things that someone has told me. I can absolutely say the same thing to you. It’s been a long time since I’ve met someone that I enjoyed meeting so much and was looking forward to getting to know. I don’t write this to make you feel bad in any way, but quite the contrary. From what I do know, I think you’re pretty terrific and when you’re ready to date again, someone’s going to be very lucky.
I too hope that our paths meet again in the future. You’re more than welcome to keep in touch if you’d like. You can never have too many friends, right?
From Him Back To Me:
Thank you for being very gracious. I was scared to open your email thinking you were going to rip me a new one. Cause I feel like I have that coming. I wrote an email to only one other person who I felt I owed an explanation. Same response. Very appreciative of the honesty. I feel bad for everyone if there is that much dishonesty out there. But this is me being naive again.
Ditto for me on the communication. Feel free to contact me anytime. If you want a man’s perspective, need to vent, have a horror story to share….its all good.
Well Im off to rehab for 6 to 12 months (thats how long im told i need to wait to date), so take care and keep in touch.
As someone needed to break the e-mail cycle, I did not respond to his last one. There’s really nothing to say. Why did I suggest we keep in touch? Well that would be because if and when he decides that he is ready, willing and able to date again, I’d like a shot. But it sounds as if there was another person in the running too, so damn her and I hope she doesn’t keep in touch. 😉
Oh, and can I just tell you that both TallDark and Webster have now told me that I’m gracious. I can only deduce that ‘gracious’ is some sort of dating codeword for ‘I like you, just not enough to actually date you’ ………. awesome. So glad I have such a fan club started out there ……..