43 & Single – Heaven Help Me, I've Resorted To Internet Dating!

Ridiculous & Random Stories & Thoughts on My Experiences

Thanks Evan Mark …….. August 18, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 5:01 pm

Uhm, so I read the blog of a ‘relationship expert’ (whatever the hell that is) and he timed today’s post just for me:


A favorite relationship expert named Alison Armstrong says that when you’re lucky enough have your chemistry dialed up to 10 with a man, you should probably run in the opposite direction.


That sounds so counterintuitive. But consider this:

When you’re crazily attracted to some guy, doesn’t that feeling actually make you a little bit…crazy?

You start to obsess about when he’s going to call.
You become weak and needy because you’re so consumed by him.
You can’t stop thinking about him and have trouble focusing on work.

And this is supposed to be a good thing?

Take a second and think about who you are at your BEST around.

It’s probably not the person you lust after the most. More likely, it’s your best friend. Or your sister. Or your mom.

These are the people around whom you can truly be yourself – at both your best AND your worst. So why do you always choose men where you’re walking on eggshells?

“But I can’t help what I’m attracted to!” you might say.

You’re right. Attraction’s not a choice. By the same token, attraction isn’t a very good predictor of relationship health.
I’ve been attracted to HUNDREDS of toxic women. Most times, I was so driven by this attraction that I was willing to overlook their considerable negative qualities.


Huh, sounds sadly familiar……… I’ll keep this in mind for next time (before throwing it out the wind, of course) 😉


9 Responses to “Thanks Evan Mark ……..”

  1. JaneDoePhx Says:

    OMG he is talking to me about Lame. (Yes GG, you named him for me. Lame name. Lame guy,. LOL) So….I’m supposed to start the counterintuitive process of finding a guy who DOESNT give me butterflies and diarhhea and sends me lurching off crazily hunting down the last Xanax? Not sure if I want to do that…..

    • Maybe there’s a happy medium? Like REALLY attracted to him but still being able to see and recognize potential challenges?

      Yeah, although I do agree with what she said, do I want to date someone that I’m not wildly attracted to?

      Eh, as that rarely happens anyway, I’d guess i’m safe for a while…….

      Sorry about Lame, Jane 😦

  2. Surrey gal Says:

    But you see, it’s a no win situation. If you opt to run away from chemistry and all the downsides of it mentioned above, you have to opt for a “reason” instead, and this is a very sad way of living life, with somebody chosen for a reason. I tried, it is bloody hard work not to start disliking this person, and not to let anything they do annoy you.

  3. Online Dating Circus Expert Says:

    Very interesting – a good read for me too

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