43 & Single – Heaven Help Me, I've Resorted To Internet Dating!

Ridiculous & Random Stories & Thoughts on My Experiences

Hand Cramp, Thumb Cramp, Guns & Sarcasm August 21, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 3:57 pm
Tags: , , , ,

Interesting weekend so far.  No, not in a get drunk and fall off of a bar stool kinda way (dammit).  I worked yesterday.  A party where the toddlers outnumbered the adults.  Guess what that means?  Yup, by the end of the party, I was pretty much covered in cake.  As I was pretty much wearing so much of it, as delicious as it looked (I didn’t make it), I didn’t even try a piece.  Shoot.  I did partake of the frozen margarita machine before I left though.  🙂

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I got home and had a text waiting from my new pal, TD, so we proceeded to text back and forth until about 1am.  Kinda strange.  If I didn’t know any better, I’d think that maybe possibly he was interested in me, but I honestly don’t think that thought could be further from his mind.  I know he thinks I’m pretty damn awesome (as he keeps telling me).  He keeps encouraging me not to give up on dating (as if).  He couldn’t be less interested in dating anyone right now and he actually shared a lot of things last night that I wasn’t aware of before (no, no rehab or ‘steps’ for this one) that really explain his trepidation about dating.  He’s never really done it before.  Married young, divorced, then married a coworker, divorced, then dated a neighbor long term.  No random dates with people.  I can imagine internet dating scared the living crap out of him!  I’m thinking/guessing that in addition to not being ready/willing/able to date, that he’s most likely just not attracted to me.  Eh, that’s fine anyway as we’re just friends.  I wonder how I’ll like it when he does start dating again and I lose my text message buddy though.

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So, back to my ‘5 a week’ deal.  Still messaging with Mr. Gun Range, however his entire realm of interest (or at least what we’ve bothered exchanging via stellar match messages) has to deal entirely with guns and shooting.  Not sure if he’s even bothered to read Click’s my profile.

Mr. Fanny Pack has written me back several times and he’s actually very witty.  Of course, he would probably be the least attractive of the 5 that I chose, but whatever.  Uhm, and yeah, his ‘hobby’ is competing in body ‘physique’ competitions.  Not body building, mind you, but those amazingly lean and well defined fitness model body competitions.  Uhm ……… yeah, that shouldn’t do anything to encourage my body issues.  Not one bit.  I couldn’t manage to undress in front of chubby Webster, I’m thinking there’s no way in hell that I would consider getting naked with someone who has 2% body fat.  Eh, i guess we should actually meet 1st before I start worry about all this nakedness. 🙂  Oh, and he doesn’t drink!  and of course,  has food issues as his diet is very restrictive.  But he’s funny, remember?

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Lastly, in the world of online dating as of 3:58pm on Sunday afternoon, Mr. Rigor Mortis Tongue messaged me to wish me a happy belated birthday.  Uhm, hello dipshit, I was out with you the night before my birthday.  You couldn’t manage to remember that the following day was my actual birthday but instead waited a week to wish me a belated birthday?  Yeah, I’m going to pass on responding.

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Oh and never heard anything more from Boring Old Attorney or Shiny Forehead.  I think I’m hiding my heartbreak over the both of them well, don’t you? 😉
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edited to add: 20% return on investment so far. Date with Fanny Pack set for Saturday. If I don’t scare him off between now and then 😉

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