43 & Single – Heaven Help Me, I've Resorted To Internet Dating!

Ridiculous & Random Stories & Thoughts on My Experiences

Full Moon Monday August 23, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 7:59 am
Tags: , , , ,

I don’t know if Match had a ‘take pity on the 44 year old single lady’ day or what yesterday, but I was quite popular.  And while that should normally make a person who internet dates very happy, I couldn’t help but wonder why.  I was at happy hour with a friend last night and while she had to take a call, I checked my e-mails and apparently had a very strange look on my face when I did as she asked what was wrong.  I was actually staring at messages from 5 guys.  FIVE.  No lame winks, no one line lewd comments, but honest to goodness messages.  Including 2 dinner invitations.  Uhm….

Now, my Doppelganger and I have figured out that a dinner invitation is the kiss of death.  Not for him or for me, but for ‘us’.  By and large, I do not accept dinner invitations.  I like to meet up for a quick drink and have an escape route pre-planned before meeting.  Dinner dates are just awkward.  They last long, you actually eat in front of someone new and you have to come up with conversation while not talking with your mouth full.  Never a good combination.  I have only gone out on dinner dates with 3 guys I think.  And those ‘relationships’ ended in a shitstorm sorta way.  There was Lemon Zinger from last year (asshole),  there was sweet Paul (dear john letter) and there was craptastic Webster.  I need not remind anyone how well that one worked out for me. 😉

Mean or not, I’m testing my theory again.  I have accepted a dinner invitation.  From the guy who winked back at my wink!  When I didn’t respond to his stellar winking, he wrote me a message.  A very sweet one.  And as I like to eat, I figured what the hell, I’ll accept.  That will be taking place on Sunday.

Red Onesie (it’s like I have the special ed world of online dating courting me this week) wanted to meet for lunch or a drink.  I opted for a drink, but we have not set a date yet.  He keeps writing me silly messages though.

Gun Range Guy sent me a message yesterday informing me that he had finally read my profile and didn’t think we had much in common.  He said he was ‘okay’ with just hanging out if I wanted.  Gee, thanks.  I didn’t respond.  I guess that got his competitive juices flowing as he sent me a really long and funny message backtracking on all he said and sending me his phone number.  He wrote me 2 more messages last night and they were both very funny and entertaining.  I guess he’s just a boring stick in the mud until he figures out that the person he’s talking to is not, in fact, a ring chaser?  Who knows.  Not sure what I’m going to do with this one.

Fanny Pack Guy (sorry, too late to change his name to camera case guy) texted and e-mailed throughout the day.  And is entirely smitten.  Which we all know does not bode well for him.  Poor thing.  We are set to meet on Saturday, but not sure exactly where, when or what we’ll be doing.

The last message was from some random guy on Match who’s profile I have yet to read.  My schedule is crazy busy this week (yet, I still find time to blog – you’re welcome), so none of these dates can take place before the weekend and as I seem to now be booked for Saturday and Sunday, they may trickle into next week.  When inevitably, I will have scared them all off by then and will start this cycle over again. 😉


Now, in pat myself on the back impressive news, I want you all to know what a stellar text messager I am becoming.  No really.  We all know how much I used to hate texting.  I’m getting really good at it now.  And to prove my awesomeness at it, I was texting, simultaneously mind you, 2 blog friends, 1 work friend, Tall Dark and Fanny Pack at the same time last night.  With NO misfired text messages!  Duh, not sure why I’m always on the receiving end of messages meant for someone else, but I guess some people are just better at this than others. 😉

Don’t take any of this to mean that I am now going to move on to IM as I will forever think that it is (along with Facebook) the root of all evil and reserved mainly for perverts and pedophiles online.


8 Responses to “Full Moon Monday”

  1. JaneDoePhx Says:

    OMG You are hilarious. Loving the rush of suitors! So much fodder for the blog, and your witty repartee. Remember stay away from men named Lame and those who bring fat calipers on first dates. I have a guy on one of the sites who I was “matched with” whose photo looks like a mugshot and the first sentence in his profile says “first attempt at dating since my wife died suddenly in her sleep last year.” Uhhh…anyone want to wind up on “The First 48”??? Scary! I am wayyyyyyyy icked out on internet dating lately. I shall live vicariously through your wild ride……

    • OH! I forgot about superfit! Too bad, his loss. 😉 And I will never date a man named Lame or that killed his wife and shoved her in a freezer……

      Oh geez, I hope I am able to keep you entertained with my escapades! 🙂 I think I shall title this week ‘Dork Week’ ……….

  2. stevesw Says:

    If Fanny Pack Guy, who is ‘wearing a camera case on his belt guy,’ gets to take some ‘personal’ pics of you, will you share them with us? 🙂

    • er Steve, that sounded a bit pervy ya’ know. Let’s all hope he doesn’t wear the offending camera case hooked to his belt on Saturday. You know it’s going to take a hell of a phenomenal date in order to get any ‘personal’ pics out of it. As I rarely have ‘phenomenal’ dates, don’t hold your breath. 😉

  3. Surrey gal Says:

    Gun Range Guy seems like somebody who want’s to pull all the strings. And who can’t take rejection. He can hang out with you, but then when you don’t reply he’s back on to you…
    I’m with you on IM! 🙂

    • Grey Goose, Dirty Says:

      You’re so right about Gun Range Guy SG! He’s been pushing to meet ever since I ignored his message. Haha. Sent me practically his entire week’s schedule!

  4. Online Dating Circus Expert Says:

    See! And a few weeks ago, it was all quiet. There is always one, or in your case, 5, guys around the corner! Nice! Super happy to hear you are busy 🙂

    Yes, dinner on the first date – very tricky. Hope this one goes better than expected. It’s about time you meet some decent guys and have some decent dates!

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