43 & Single – Heaven Help Me, I've Resorted To Internet Dating!

Ridiculous & Random Stories & Thoughts on My Experiences

No More Room At The Inn August 23, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 4:32 pm
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Okee dokey, so Fanny Pack guy keeps looking at my profile.  Let’s all hope he’s not doing anything dirty while gazing, btw.  He claims it’s to have re-read my ‘interests’ so that he can select an activity for us to do on Saturday (mind out of the gutter people, he wears a fanny pack/camera case!).  Apparently I didn’t put ‘drink’ in bold enough letters in my profile as he as selected the Chucky Cheese for adults (thanks click) and we are going to Dave & Busters.  Uh, I would like for him to point out where exactly in my profile it says that I enjoy going to really loud places with flashing neon lights and a shitpot of kids running around?  He says he picked it because they have both bowling and pool there.  Uhm, okay.  Any bar has pool tables.  Any bowling alley has bowling.  Does he think we’re going to do both in one night?  And how long exactly does he think this date is going to last?  Yikes.  It will be interesting to see what the hell he can find to eat there as I don’t think ‘bar food’ fits into his uber strict regiment of unseasoned lean protein with no fat, no carbs, no flavor, no imagination.  Oh wait D & B may be perfect for that ……. Anywhoo, I hope he doesn’t think that I’m going to respect his decision to never drink (due to said regiment and no ‘step’ program thank god) by not drinking myself.  Hello?  You take me to a seizure inducing place where we’re basically going to have to yell at one another in order to be heard over the bells, whistles and screaming kids and hold me hostage and expect me NOT to drink?  No way.  Said torture is scheduled to begin at 5pm on Saturday.  Who wants to be my emergency ‘oh my god, your house is on fire’ call at 5:20pm?


I talked to Red Onesie on the phone a couple of times today.  He’s really funny.  I very much like his sense of humor but I think there may be something a bit ‘off’ with him.  Not sure if he’s a closet perv (or an uncloseted one) or what.  He was looking at my pictures while talking to me (always kinda creepy) and commented on my lips.  I have great big ones, yet don’t really appreciate guys commenting on them as I assume they are thinking something uber un pc about what I can do with them besides kiss.  Ick.  He’s got a definite case of ADD and a penchant for over sharing.  As in telling me about when he was on AdultFriendFinder.  Uhm, ick.  And yes, you know me well enough to know that I basically called him a slutty perv for going that route.  He wanted to meet for coffee today.  Ha, right.  I told him coffee dates were lame and I would much prefer meeting for drinks on Friday.  He got a little pouty and said that it shouldn’t matter the location, and he likes coffee dates because if there is no attraction, it’s a done deal in 10 minutes.  Yeah thanks buddy, I’ve got this down to a science.   I explained that the same rules applied in meeting for drinks, I just prefer alcohol to coffee.  No clue if he was being a weenie for my sake (as if I need an ‘out’ for a bad date – haha, silly rabbit), or for his.  He’s not happy about waiting until Friday either, but those are the breaks kid.  He does go to California a lot though and has already invited me to drive along the coast with him (me+ocean=very happy me!), so let’s hope he’s not hideous.  Or wearing the onesie.  We are meeting for happy hour at 4pm on Friday.  No need for an emergency call on this one.  He’s a big boy and will just have to deal should I decide to turn tail and bail on him.  If he does the same to me however, expect a few disbelieving texts my blog pals.


Still waiting on Sunday guy to let me know the plans.  He asked what type of food I like and I left it up to him.  If this one actually happens, it will be very interesting as we have not exchanged any sort of information about one another.  Eh, what else do I have to do on a Sunday evening?


So funny that one of my new favorite bloggers just today made a post about online dating.  She goes about it on the whole other side of the spectrum.  She won’t go out with ‘just anyone’ and we all know that I pretty much will.  She is waiting for someone to blow her socks off before she wastes her time meeting them.  She is much more respectful of them (or just annoyed beyond belief) in that she doesn’t post about her online suitors.  We all know that I stop just short of giving their home addresses and phone numbers.  I sort of like her way of going about it, but yet, I don’t dislike mine.  I really do like meeting new people.  Sure, the disappointment is probably 10-fold going out with so many guys and not loving any of them (yet), but it entertains me and we all know that I’m overly concerned with accidentally passing up on a good one (which hasn’t happened yet, but still). 😉 Regardless of how differently we go about it though, we’re in the exact same place.  Single and looking.  I’ve just scored a lot more free drinks than she has. 😉


9 Responses to “No More Room At The Inn”

  1. Emilie Says:

    mmm…. We all been in those scenarios where you just need an emergency call to save your but and 8 out of 10; I am the emergency call that I do for my friends and for some reason forget about me…. So I came up with the perfect way to do the fake emergency call… I would set up the “alarm clock” part to a certain time (x number of mints past the start of the date) with the same ring tone so that when you press the off button, you simply pretend to answer with a fake conversation and scenario…. One tip tho… don’t use the house burning one has that one does back fires often as it is so used in movies and the movie buffs will catch that one a mile away, and for those who don’t catch that, they will offer you to stay at their place till you “can get back on your feet” … even if you know it’s not true!!

    If you need a “text blog buddy”!! I’ll be up for it 😉 with a few drinks… hehehe …. Anyways good luck on your dates this Friday and Saturday!!

    • Wow Emilie! You’ve put some thought into this! Impressive! I’ve never actually resorted to the emergency phone call. If he’s a douche, I’ll just tell him. If he’s a nice guy, I’ll stick it out as long as possible before stomping on his heart and telling him I don’t think we’re a good match. 😉

  2. Well..turns out I am available as a back up if needed. I know…shocker! D&B is an interesting choice on his part for a date AND on a Sat night – Enjoy! p.s. Thanks for the shout out. What a nice surprise!

    • I’m sure we’ll be having equally as fun a time on Saturday! 😉 I’m thinking about telling him to pick somewhere else. Have I happened to mention how much I can’t stand Dave and Busters?

      And you’re welcome …….. I love your blog 🙂

  3. Caroline Says:

    I’m still at the ‘hit delete’ stage for most of the internet dating sites I’m on! It’s no good they all look like would be ‘mass murderers’ or ‘serial rapists’ or just plain old and boring!!!


    • I still do that too, but a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do for free cocktails! 🙂 Oh wait, I mean in order to find ‘the one’ (the one that doesn’t annoy the crap out of me) 😉

      Old and boring, huh? You must have been contacted my attorney friend …. haha

  4. Online Dating Circus Expert Says:

    Huh – not sure about the snuggie guy…..your paragraph about him, may be on purpose, kind of made me feel icky. Hope it is better in person!

    • Yeah, we’ll have to wait and see on him. He is funny as hell, and maybe I’m just a prude, but I don’t think it’s ‘normal’ to bring up anything having to remotely do with sex during a 1st phone call ….. then again… 😉

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