43 & Single – Heaven Help Me, I've Resorted To Internet Dating!

Ridiculous & Random Stories & Thoughts on My Experiences

The Tale Of The Red Onesie September 1, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 12:36 am
Tags: , , ,

So of course I get to the bar early tonight (after he had texted earlier in the day to see if I could meet earlier, which I was okay with) and sidle up to the bar to befriend the skinny, yet adorable bartender.  I order water while I wait (i do have some manners – not many mind you, but some) and proceed to peruse the crowd.  Damn are there good looking guys that frequent this place!  I saw 4 right off the bat.  Tall, professional, good looking.  Me likee.  Whatever, as I wasn’t there to shop as I had already pre-ordered a date, I sat and waited.  And in walks a tall guy with a baseball hat and a toolish blackberry shoved in his ear.  I said a silent prayer that that wasn’t him.  He proceeded to sit in a booth and look around.  Shit.  Just as I was ready to resign myself to another shitty waste of time, my phone rings.  And it was Red Onesie calling to say he was running late.  Of course.  I gave him a hugely hard time about it and told him I was going to start drinking without him.  Which I proceeded to do.

He finally shows up about 15 minutes late and walks in.  Huh, kinda cute.  Fucked up teeth, but nice smile and good build.  Yeah, I could deal with that.  Aside from the fact that he was actually wearing black socks (to match his shirt, I guess), he wasn’t dressed too shitty either.  He gives me a big ole’ hug and says he has to go to the restroom.  Uhm, okay.  Was he ditching me?  Should I ditch him?  Eh, as I still had my drink I proceeded to continue texting TallDark (a whole other story as we had been texting all day some really funny and inappropriate shit ……. think strip clubs and porn …… yet a squeaky clean version of what those 2 topics of convo could entail) and JandDoe.  Well what do you know?  He came back.  He has a very big personally and is very outspoken.  And inappropriate.  He’s loud and witty and a bit pervy, but was fun.  We had drinks, we had apps, we flirted.  Thank fucking god I wasn’t stuck with another douchey tool.  Being the superficial bitch that I am I was trying to gauge if I would make out with him the whole time.  Duh, as if feeding me 2 killer martinis won’t sway my decision for most anyone, I decided yes.  And of course, I knew he wanted to the whole time as he was throwing out inappropriate comments about my freckles and my lips and some very leading questions.  Okay fine, so he’s not someone I would take home to mom, but he was funny, aside from the leading questions he was respectful (haha, that sounded like a total contradiction) and I was having fun.  After a couple of hours, he paid our not so small tab.  I offered to ‘help’ and he said ‘sure, you can put my credit card in the little bill holder’.  🙂

He walks me to my car and well, let’s just say I got to embrace my inner kissing whore.  I’ve missed her.  I haven’t been properly kissed since that shitbag Webster.  Now while Red Onesie wasn’t nearly as good a kisser as dickface, he wasn’t too shabby.  So we made out.  For a while.  And can I tell you that parking lot was like grand central station!  Damn, no less than 20 people walked past us.  I hope they enjoyed the show.  Although he tried to get a little further than kissing, I put the kibosh on that.

Summation of the night.  Fun, flirty, filled with LOTS of awesome kisses.  I would absolutely go out with him again.  I think he liked me (but then again he’s a guy, so who knows what the hell he was thinking).  I think we could have some fun together.  Do I see long term?  Hell no.  Do I see someone who would be great to hang out with?  Yup.  He may be just what I need right now.  Someone that I like, without being someone who I LIKE!  He could absolutely break my dry spell and I wouldn’t give 2 shits about it.  Lovely that he has awoken my ‘inner guy’ regarding dating.  Kinda glad I’m not all mooney and whatever over him. 

As he did have a good date with someone else the other night, who knows.  He did say he will call me tomorrow.  And now we wait………

.

Very funny aside:  at one point, I caught him just kinda staring at me so I asked him what he was doing.  He said he was trying to figure out my hair color!  LMAO!  Of course, I busted out laughing and explained what was going on.  He looked surprised and apparently had just assumed that with my strawberry blonde hair color, pale skin and freckles that I was of Irish descent.  Uh no.  I would be of the idiot descent who can’t color her hair properly.  Close though……. 😉

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12 Responses to “The Tale Of The Red Onesie”

  1. eM Says:

    Sounds like a fun night indeed! And the “sure, you can put my credit card in the little bill holder’…I hadn’t heard that one before. Clever. Hopefully you’ll have more dates like this..that get you all ‘mooney’ over a guy. Let the good times roll. 🙂

    Ps. First time reading you blog. Love your openness and honesty.

    • Thanks eM! I am nothing if not honest (just not always to myself) 😉 We’ll see what happens with RO. I’d rather not get all mooney over anyone. I’ve done that twice this year already and I didn’t handle things all that well, so I’d be okay with just not hating him. 😉

  2. Matthew Says:

    Well, a good date had to appear in here sooner or later. I mean, law of averages and all. 😉

    Though I’m disappointed he didn’t show up in a bow tie.

    Bummer.

  3. Glad you had a nice time and found a cute buddy. Have a good time.. 🙂

  4. JaneDoePhx Says:

    YAY!!! Love kissing!!! Go GG go!!!!!

    Also LOVE when men pay the bill and offer a chivlarous comment to boot “You can put the card in the holder for me.” I think that could make up for a lot in the way of whatever inappropriate comments he may have made…LOL.

    So glad you had a good time AND found someone to have fun with!!!! Vive la onesie!

    • uhm, yeah, his chivalry helped, however he has a FILTHY mind and I might quite possibly be a bigger prude than I thought but some things just aren’t said when you 1st meet someone. Temporary bicycle riding partner or not 😉

      I may act like a tramp, but I don’t talk dirty to people I just met – i have to keep some semblance of decorum …….. ha!

  5. everevie Says:

    I like the credit card comment too…although I never offer to pay on a first date…or help…or whatever. I just sit there. Because I’m a bitch like that. (The only exception is if I asked them out).

    I’m sooooo glad you found someone to make-out with! Yay for the return of your inner kissing-whore! I hope this guy can break the “dry-spell”. 🙂

    You certainly deserve to have some fun…after that shiz-bag, Pisces, Webster. 😉


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