So of course I heard from Red Onesie yesterday (like I knew I would) via text. He sent me this ridiculously romantic message:
How is your day going? Are you as sexually frustrated as I am?
To which I proceeded to stare at the phone with my mouth hanging open and steam coming out of my ears.
I batted around several possible responses or maybe not even responding at all. Ever. Far be it from me to not get the last word in, so I send this:
‘Uhm, my day was going well before some guy I just met last night, who I’m sure I could have fun with, decided it would be okay to talk to me like I was a whore. It isn’t.
I honestly didn’t expect to hear back from him, but as I intentionally left the dangling carrot, he responded with this:
‘Sucks to be him. Things said in jest are not to be taken seriously. I know him and he meant no disrespect’
Kinda cute, kinda douchey, kinda ignorant. Maybe he’s just an idiot who has no clue that speaking like that to someone he just met is entirely inappropriate? Maybe no one has ever put their foot down with him? Maybe he’s just an ass. As my grand plan was just to sleep with him anyway, I guess I don’t get to sit atop my high horse on this one. Still, I was on the fence. I mean really? So I decide to send a very noncommittal:
‘Let’s hope you’re right’
Still amazed that he is fucking things up all on his own. Duh. He wants to sleep with me. Not a big secret. The big dumbass had no idea that that was my plan as well and proceeded to shoot himself in the foot. Anyway, as I was still deciding what to do (if anything), I see that I have 2 more texts from him. As he just might be the world’s shittiest texter, I have no clue what they even mean, but am pretty sure they are crappy petulant insults. You decide:
‘I am abt u needing thicker skin’ (uhm????)
‘Don’t look for the worst when clearly the best is right in front of you’ (once again, uhm???? and quite Hallmarkish)
I am thinking/hoping/assuming that this concludes our tale of the Red Onesie wearing filthy talking idiot who managed to fuck up a pretty sure thing all on his own….
What a dumbass……….