43 & Single – Heaven Help Me, I've Resorted To Internet Dating!

Ridiculous & Random Stories & Thoughts on My Experiences

The Cleanest Dirty Text Exchange Ever September 2, 2011

Hell no, I’m not referring to Red Onesie.  The title of this post would be something like the ‘The Most Disgusting and Offensive Text Exchange Ever’  or possibly ‘Now Seeking Trauma Therapy’ if I were.  That overly short chapter is closed.  I’m sure there is some sort of lesson to be learned about not expecting less from people just because you only want to tandem bike ride with them but I guess it’s one of those ‘you reap what you sow’ kinda things.  Not even sure if that cliché applies but whatever.

Anywhoo, onto more entertaining topics.  We all know that I text with TallDark almost daily.  We all know that I’m fairly full of shit when I say I never want to be anything more than friends with him.  We also know that I am totally okay with just being friends with him right now.  We also know that he absolutely only thinks of me as a friend and has no desire to date anyone, much less me, right now.  Now that we’re all on the same page here, let’s delve into our text volleys over the past couple of days.  We usually just text at night, but for the past couple of days we’ve been texting throughout our non-productive work days too.  Our texts cover everything under the universe.  Work, my bad dates, his kids, past relationships, the weather, total nonsense and everything in between.  Some are serious, some are snarky, some are supportive and some are just really funny.  He’s always there with sage advice and a sympathetic ear. I do the same for him. He asks lots of questions about me and I do about him as well. He probably knows more about me than I’ve shared with anyone in a very long time. I know just about everything about him as well, yet still want to know more (minds out of the gutter people, I didn’t mean in a carnal sorta way……….yet).  Full conversations are had via text (thank goodness I finally learned how).  Come to think of it, we’ve never actually spoken on the phone.

Anyway, Wednesday’s topics were all over the place. They covered my getting stung by a bee (1st time ever – obviously I’m not allergic as I am still alive – yey me) to tennis to work to the horribly hot weather to strip clubs, porn and adult entertainment stores.  And he started it.  He slipped the name of a er, ‘gentleman’s club’ in town into a conversation and I didn’t know what it was so asked and pointed out that just the name made it sound like not the most wholesome of establishments.  What followed were 2 full days of jokes, comments, questions, comparisons and critiques that were not always in the best taste.  We all know that I have a really dirty mind and often ‘go there’ in random conversations with friends as it’s just f*ing funny to talk about random stuff in poor taste sometimes.  I have never shown my dirty minded side to TD as he’s just such a nice, good conservative guy.I didn’t want to traumatize the poor guy after all.  He just so happens to also be ridiculously funny, can absolutely play word games with the best of them (me) and seems to have a slightly deviant side.  Now while these topics could lead to a very graphic and crass exchange, it hasn’t been anything like that.  It’s been the cleanest dirty exchange ever.  Damn funny.  Damn entertaining.  Yup, I like the guy.  He’s one of the best people I’ve met.  Ever.  No clue if this is appropriate ‘friendship’ conversation, but it’s fun.

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8 Responses to “The Cleanest Dirty Text Exchange Ever”

  1. everevie Says:

    Heeheehee…that’s cute. Of course, this comes from the ScarJo/Mashed potato queen herself.

    I knew I liked that you kept the TallDark guy around as a “friend:. He seems very fun and down to earth. 🙂

  2. Online Dating Circus Expert Says:

    Oooo…interesting. Do you dare tempt his devious side to come out and play?

    • weird, right? i have no idea what to make of any of this. i honestly think he has no interest in me, but it’s just a strange thread of text exchanges. he mentioned the other night that he regrets never having a one night stand (to which I congratulated him). of course the 1st thought that popped into my mind was to offer to remedy that situation 😉 but I don’t do one night stands ……….. anymore.

      i’d love to be able to somehow figure out what his thought process is on all of this, but don’t want to risk looking like a big ole’ idiot ……..


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