Well first off, my deepest apologies to anyone landing here innocently looking for the words to London Bridges. Run, run away now.
Let’s see. I’ve compared dating to inkless pens. I’ve compared it to swimming in a cesspool. I’ve compared it to shoving a rusty fork in my eye. I’ve compared it to looking for the one shiny penny in a ginormous pile of shit. All are fairly accurate comparisons. Today I will be comparing internet dating to the seemingly innocent childhood game of Duck Duck Goose. Actually, it may be closer to that party favorite musical chairs, so let’s forget about duck duck goose for the time being.
The music starts and everyone basically saunters around in circles. One eye kept on the competing players and the other kept on the available seats. No one is ever completely relaxed as they know at any second they will have to pounce in order to be able to stay in the game. With each round of the music stopping and everyone fighting for a seat an additional chair is removed, making the following rounds more and more challenging. Which puts the players more and more on edge. Some people cheat and don’t ever move away from the chair they want. Others will try to shove another derrier off the chair that they have their eyes on. Some play nice; others not so much. In theory it’s a fun game. In reality, it’s a bit cut-throat.
This is just like internet dating. With each bad date, each race to a chair only to have it taken by another contestant, the subsequent rounds get more challenging. Literally and figuratively. As the good ones get picked off, new players join the game, the music window gets shorter, whatever. With each consecutive round, the nerves get higher, the tension increases and the desire to ‘win’ might even overtake the rules of good sportsmanship. In theory, it’s a fun game. Promotes healthy competition and the ability to roll with the unexpected. In reality, the game gets tiring after so many rounds. Sometimes you just want to sit the round out. Kick back and relax and have the winning empty seat come find you. That’s not how the game works though. It’s always down to 2 at the end. One triumphantly perched on the last remaining chair and the other, just sort of standing there trying to act like it doesn’t matter that they just lost.
I always sucked at these games. Kinda like dodgeball……. only less physically painful.
And thus ends Introspective Monday 🙂 As I technically wrote the last 2 posts Sunday night, I’m not sure whether I was being introspective then, or now, or always. 😉 I almost didn’t publish this one, but it seemed to follow a few comments I received on my last post, so what the hell. Let’s get all the boring shit out of the way in one fell swoop, shall we?