43 & Single – Heaven Help Me, I've Resorted To Internet Dating!

Ridiculous & Random Stories & Thoughts on My Experiences

Maybe I Should Just Try Minding My Own Business September 15, 2011

Filed under: bad dates,dating,internet dating,online dating,single — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 9:32 am
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What a novel concept!  Who knew?  Crazy that I get so invested in other peoples’ lives.  Pretty sure I do that so I don’t have to deal with all the crap that goes on in my own, but whatever.  No clue why I get so righteously indignant (nope, I don’t even have that word a day toilet paper, i’m just kinda smart like that) when friends do stupid shit and don’t listen to me but who am I kidding?  I do stupid shit all the time and don’t listen to anyone.  Until after the fact.  When it’s too late.  Why do I get so frustrated with people for not seeing things as I do?  How amazingly conceited must I be to think that my way is the right way?  For everyone.  Absolutely ridiculous on my part.  Yet I continue to do it.

I get all pissy when someone doesn’t agree or ‘see’ what I see and then that charming passive aggressive side comes out.  Which only serves the purpose of making me feel horrible for potentially hurting someone’s feelings.  This is a terrible cycle that I find myself doing.  I speak without thinking (damn that filter of mine that’s been on the fritz for close to 30 years) then instantly feel bad.  Then I end up apologizing.  Which makes me feel like an even bigger loser.  I really really really need to pay less attention to other peoples’ lives and trying to ‘help’ or ‘fix’ whatever is going on and concentrate on my own.  I mean really people, I’m 44 years old.  Shouldn’t I be able to mind my own business?  Shouldn’t I be able to offer advice and empathetically listen without feeling the need to blurt whatever it is i’m thinking out? 

Huh, I guess not.

Here’s a little secret about me.  Although I will spew whatever nonsense comes to my mind here in my little safe haven of a blog (ha, notice the newly password protected posts), I do not talk about myself to my real world friends.  I do the same thing with them that I do with my stellar dates.  I ask a million questions and get them to talk about themselves, but don’t often share much of me.  Even my best friends in the world know very little about me.  I think they’ve all given up trying to find out.  Is it hard for me not have someone appear ‘interested’ in what I have to say or what’s going on in my life?  Yup, I get upset by that all the time.  I am fully aware, however, that this is a result of my own doing.  I continue to do this as well.  Someone will ask me a direct question and I will automatically turn it back on them, thus avoiding answering.  Still trying to figure out why I do this, but I guess I haven’t actually gotten there yet.

Awesome to know that my shitty/weird/annoying mood from yesterday has continued on!  Yey you! 😉

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