43 & Single – Heaven Help Me, I've Resorted To Internet Dating!

Ridiculous & Random Stories & Thoughts on My Experiences

Way To State The Obvious September 17, 2011

Filed under: bad dates,dating,internet dating,online dating,single — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 6:05 pm
Tags: , , ,

So the midget pushers are at it again.  The brain trust that is the collective staff of E-Horrorme has obviously invested several hundreds of seconds putting together their latest ‘helpful’ article with which to spam the inboxes of every unfortunate soul who was ever dumb enough to join their craptastic site.  Oh wait, did that sound bitter?  Their latest masterpiece is on ‘The Benefits of Kissing’ and I can’t for the life of me figure out why they would need to even come up with any reasons over and above that it’s just good plain fun.  And I mean a LOT of fun.  If the guy possessing the other set of lips has any clue what he’s doing that is. 😉

Their reasons are so amazingly earth shattering that I feel the need to inflict share them with everyone.  Yey you!

1) Stress Reliever ~ uh, duh…..

2) Increases Emotional Connection ~ really, you think?

3) Increases Physical Connection ~ wow, who knew?

4) Releases Pheromones ~ if he’s doing it right it does

5) Prevents Cavities ~ never thought of this one

6) It’s a Pain Killer ~ or a pain in the ass if he doesn’t kiss well

7) Burns Calories ~ who needs a membership to the gym?

As if these pithy little selling points aren’t enough to make you want to run out and grab the closest good kisser, they have gone the extra inch and included the most obviously non-insightful blurb about the mindset behind said kissers, according to the sexes.  Ready?  You better grab a seat as this information is amazingly earth shattering.

Women emphasize kissing as a means of evaluating a potential mate and to monitor the ongoing status of a relationship. Meanwhile, men employ kissing as a precursor to sex and to effect conflict resolution.

Really, E-Harm?  Well it’s entirely too bad that during my 3 months prison sentence membership on your site I couldn’t find ONE single person that I wanted to kiss.  For anyone that knows me and is familiar with what a kissing whore I am, that’s really saying something.  And not saying anything good ……..


6 Responses to “Way To State The Obvious”

  1. Emilie Says:

    Mmm… that study sounds why to fulmar to me… wait, I’ve this article on msn about this study about 10 years ago… So I think that E-Harmony has just coped and pasted it to their site, which we all no that’s not a good sign when their employees have to re-take out an old article that someone else wrote.

    As for the points they make it in that article, well lest just say I agree with 6 out 7 of them…. See if the number 7th point was true, we would all be skinny or anorexic one or the other.

  2. The T Says:

    I keep wondering when the last time you’ve really been kissed… like for real and it’s curled your toes… set your fucking bra on fire kinda kisses… you need some of those ellen… If there was a way to reach you….


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