43 & Single – Heaven Help Me, I've Resorted To Internet Dating!

Ridiculous & Random Stories & Thoughts on My Experiences

And You Thought Sundays Were Boring September 26, 2011

Filed under: bad dates,dating,internet dating,online dating,single — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 1:10 pm
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Correct me if I’m wrong, but Sundays are supposed to be a day of rest, right?  Nope, not for me.  Let’s see, I woke up early, sent a crappy e-mail, went to work for 9 hours, came home, received a response to said crappy e-mail, received a really funny message from a guy on Match, did some laundry, got to watch some of my favorite reality TV and then went to bad.  Whew.  Lots went on.   So, what would you like to hear about 1st?  What I had for dinner?  Nah, I didn’t think so.

Let’s start with laundry, shall we?  Okay fine, how about the guy from Match.  Sent me a very short, very funny message giving me a link to something that I mentioned in my profile.  You know what that means don’t you?  He actually bothered to read my profile!  And still opted to contact me. Go figure. 😉 He has a nice smile, so I wrote him back.  An equally short message, but really, his profile was all of about 4 lines long, so not much to go on.  Now we all know how friggin’ picky I am about guys and how I’m all about looks and personality (yeah, yeah, it’s already been decided that I’m superficial, so get over it).  Let me list Mr. Onion’s (in reference to The Onion, which I love) stats, in decending order of my excitement, or lack thereof.  He’s got a very nice smile,  he’s a doctor, he’s 50, he marked ‘slender’ as body type (awesome), he’s only 5’11” (which I hope doesn’t mean 5’8″)  and ……….. wait for it …………. ready?……….. he’s Jewish.  As all the guys I’ve been excited about meeting over the past 2 years have turned out to be shit, maybe it’s time I try something new?  So taking into consideration that I prefer tall guys under the age of 50 who are not ‘slender’, I think I’m taking a chance.  Toss in the fact that I have never ever dated a Jewish guy and this is me expanding my horizons.  Actually I just want to be able to tell my mom that I’m dating a Jewish Doctor ……. I bet she cries. 😉

.

Shall we discuss e-mails next?  Of the TD variety?  Of the response to the e-mail I sent him earlier variety?  Of the TD responding to my earlier e-mail by actually dumping me as a friend?  Yeah, awesome.  I didn’t even know that could happen!  Who the hell ‘breaks up’ with a friend?  It was nicely worded, but what it comes down to is that if/when he gets back together with his icky neighbor ex, he planned on dumping me as a friend anyway.  Uh, what?  ‘She’ wouldn’t allow it.  Just like he assured me he wouldn’t do.  Sadly, instead of just coming out and telling me this, he has intentionally been pulling back and being somewhat rude to me and letting me think that I had done something wrong for the past few weeks.  Not sure how I feel about that.  He thinks I’m jealous of the ex as well as the gal from Friday night.  Well gee, if you wouldn’t have let me think I had done something wrong, told me to leave you alone for a few days and then rubbed my nose in the fact that you were hanging out with and confiding in someone else, maybe you would have gotten a different reaction.  Ever think of that?  Parts of his message don’t even make much sense (to me at least).  Surprisingly, I am taking the news quite well.  Kinda sad, kinda mad, kinda meh.   Maybe I should thank him for being a little shit at the end in order to make it easier?  I’m thinking that he, his neighbor & her ex sorta belong together.  In one totally dysfunctionally codependent love triangle.  I haven’t decided whether or not to even bother responding.  Oh hell, I post every other e-mail in the universe, so here you go:

So much of what you say is true, but I would never knowingly throw something in your face. What happened friday was a chance to help someone else instead of me being the sad sap for once. And I felt really good about it. But now Im getting the same treatment from her, silence, even though she promised to let me know how things worked out with her boyfriend. Oh well.

You are right that I changed. Two reasons: one, work picked up and I truly could not spend the time txting as I did the first few weeks. Yes, I should have told you that. Second, and more importantly, I saw myself getting closer to my ex. And I knew that if I got back together with her, I could not communicate with you openly anymore. She would not accept you being in my life. I could say that it is just jealousy on her part, but when I found out she was constatnly texting someone from Match (even though she was never going to meet up with him) it really hurt me. Then I saw what I was doing with you, and how that would not be fair to mindy if we got back together. Im still on a break from her, but I dont know whats going to happen, and I certainly dont feel justified in stringing you along as a friend if I feel I might have to break it off when/if the ex and I got back together.

Thus my hesitations the past few weeks. I am truly sorry I disappointed you. You have been a wonderful friend. But I also feel like you would get jealous when I talked about her or even last friday. Am I wrong? I feel I need to settle this thing with my ex before anything else happens in my life. I love to have friends, but its not fair to you if I have to pull away at some point. I  know I have already done that to some degree and look what I have done to you. Im truly sorry and hope you understand.

Uhm, is it even possible to ‘string along’ a friend?  I’d actually like to hear your thoughts on this one as I think I might be in a little bit of shock……..

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9 Responses to “And You Thought Sundays Were Boring”

  1. Serena Says:

    Wow, I haven’t visited in so long that I am way out of the loop, lol. Sorry…..

    First, how are you GG?

    I don’t know what advice I can give you other than you deserve so much better than what’s been happening with you. TD was not a ‘true friend’ if he could just push you aside like that for his ex. I’m sorry that people (men!) seem to use, and or take advantage of you for THEIR time being. Match seems to have only given you matches-made-in-hell. Dang girl, I hope you find that special one soon….

    Let these people who only bring negativity and unhappiness into your life go…without a second thought….because that’s what they did to you and you shouldn’t spend even another minute wasting your time thinking of them. I know you had feelings for TD in the beginning, but really, even if he sent a message and said his eyes were opened and he realizes you are the one….is this *really* the type of man you want?

    • Serena! I’ve missed you! It’s good to ‘see’ you! 🙂 I’ve been same as always …….. a bit of a mess. 😉 How are YOU?

      Thank you for your wise words. Funny how simple it all seems when I read it, yet I wasn’t able to see it. I still had in my head the amazingly nice guy from when we 1st met (and really, up until a couple of weeks ago). The problem is, I know he’s still an amazingly nice guy, just a bit too big of a project for me and his game playing the past couple of weeks (that I let him get away with) shows a side of him that I’ve not seen before…..

      Yeah, I don’t know what’s up with me lately. I seem to fall into the same pattern of taking on ‘projects’ …….. I think I need a new hobby 😉

  2. Serena Says:

    If you’re a mess then I must be a disaster, lol. Nah, GG, you just have a good heart.

    I have been okay but my husband had to go overseas on Sept 5th for 6 months and I am missing him like CRAZY! I haven’t had much time to blog or even read blogs because I’m in the middle of starting a business, and studying, and spending all my available time on Skype with the one who says he is “incredibly homesick”. Awww! 🙂

    I think I was a lot like you in the past with taking on “projects”, only I started at the age of 18 and got sick and tired of them at the ripe age of 37. I then gave up and said to hell with those projects and decided life was better on my own…..then I met my husband and within 3 months we were married, lol!

    When the right man comes along you will know because HE will take YOU on as the project, and the relationship will feel effortless and rewarding. Not draining as TD and the ‘dictionary’ were prior.

    TD will probably try and get in touch with you again when the going gets tough for him, but ignore him. Trust me, it will make him crazy. Keep telling yourself that YOU should be the priority…and nobody deserves the best more than you do.

    If all else fails, I know a really good guy in Georgia who I know would treat you like a queen. He’s 44 and 5’10”. Are you willing to relocate? 😉

    • You are far from a mess. You are one busy lady though! OMG! Sounds exciting though and I’m certain you’ll be a great success at all of it! Sorry the hubby is overseas for 6 months but very sweet that he’s homesick. He knows who he’s got waiting for him when he gets back! 🙂

      You’re sweet. Damn, it would be nice to have someone take me (and my steamer trunk of baggage) on as their project for a change ……

      Oooh, I’ve always wanted to live in the South! I’ll pack up my dogs and be right there! Does your friend know that you are pimping him out to strange women on the internet? 🙂

      • Serena Says:

        Lol, not yet! I’ll tell him though….

        If you come to the south you’ll only be a 5 hour drive from me, and I’m only 2 miles from the beach in Pensacola, FL. He’s got a great job, his own house, a new car…he doesn’t like bars but enjoys bbq’s and drinks on the weekend. His family and friends are awesome and crazy, and I heard he’s a good kisser. I think he was on match for a while too, lol! He’s not a home body and always loves to travel and do things.

        Oh my God, I sound like I am trying to sell him to you, haha! Sorry….

        Thanks for the compliments *blushing* LOL! I’m up working at 6 am, and go to sleep after midnight so I hope it all pays off in the end. I’ll have to send you the link to my new blog as soon as I set it up.

        By the way, we all have steamer trunks of baggage. When I first started telling my husband about my life he jokingly took out a pen and paper and said we needed to put it in a novel. Gah, I love him, lol! 🙂

        • Serena Says:

          Oooh….I forgot to mention. He’s been divorced for almost 6 years and has NO kids. Good, eh? AND, if you love Doo Wop music then you are in. He’s a huge fan and wants to meet a woman who loves it as much as he does. 🙂

          • your hubby sounds awesome Serena! I guess I could learn to love Doo Wop (I don’t hate, just don’t listen much). That would be quite the blind date ~ me showing up on his doorstep, complete with luggage and dogs! 🙂

  3. Surrey gal Says:

    I think that maybe he knew/thought that you want something more than friendship and he didn’t want you to have any hopes which wouldn’t be met?


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