43 & Single – Heaven Help Me, I've Resorted To Internet Dating!

Ridiculous & Random Stories & Thoughts on My Experiences

But I Already Have a Library Card October 2, 2011

Okay, so as I’m sure everyone, including myself, is tired of reading stories of non-dates and is probably a bit confused as to why an internet dating blogger actually has nothing of interest to actually blog about, I have opted to make the supreme sacrifice of logging back into Match today.  For all of about 4 minutes.  What?  Baby steps, people!  Here’s the thing.  I always look at the ‘who’s viewed me’ section just so I can brush up on what all the ex cons and recent parolees in my area look like. 😉  Honestly though, I’ve never seen such a motley crew of guys before.

As I realize that I can’t just sit back and take a passive approach to this and hope that Mr. Kinda Wonderful magically appears on my doorstep, I know that I need to run my own searches and contact random hotties nice guys 1st.  And then sit back and see if they’re smart enough to respond.  This is how I’ve always done it.  I’m proactive in this impossible search of mine.  When I run my searches though, I do just as my Doppelganger told me and I don’t specify a lot of ‘must haves’, as I can just generate the list of ickies bachelors and weed out from there.  Here’s the thing though.  I have about 3 absolute non-negotiables.  I’m sorry, but I refuse to date someone who is 5 inches (oh who am I kidding, more like 1 inch) shorter than me.  I have no desire to have to plop my date up on the kitchen counter in order to get a kiss from him.  I have no desire to date anyone of an age range that is totally unacceptable and will result in my either getting arrested or having random strangers tell me it’s nice that I’m spending the evening with my grandfather.  I’m also a stickler for proximity in that I’m not so keen on ‘dating’ someone who lives 18 states away.  I have also always put ‘only show me profiles with pictures’.  As I keep seeing the same guys search after search, I’m wondering if I should really live on the edge and have them send me profiles that don’t have pictures?

Do normal, non hideous people actually have profiles up without pics?  I realize that some may still think there is a stigma attached to internet dating; some may have high profile jobs; or some may just be shy.  I also can’t help but wonder if it’s the exceptionally unattractive, prison inmate, married men that are the ones without pictures up.  Here’s another thing though.  I’d actually have to read all of the profiles.  ALL of them!  And decide if I even like what they have to say before I dive in and ask for a picture right away.  I really have no desire to spend any time messaging with someone who I have no clue if I’d even be attracted to.  Kinda like the internet dating version of that awesome, all too short lived show, Dating In The Dark.

I know there are other internet daters that read my drivel and am wondering what your experiences are with this.  Have you ever met anyone that you didn’t know what they looked like?  Have you ever contacted anyone with no picture?  I actually did once, many many many years ago when I first tried online dating (before running away screaming) and I did end up meeting him with never having seen a picture of him.  Let’s suffice it to say that he was NOT my type.  We ended up being friends for a few years though.  Until I figured out that he was a little more into me, and drinking until he’d pass out (apparently the 2 go hand in hand) than I was comfortable with.

So here’s my question.  Do I really want to spend hours weeding thru faceless profiles?


17 Responses to “But I Already Have a Library Card”

  1. Kat Richter Says:

    I love this line: “I always look at the ‘who’s viewed me’ section just so I can brush up on what all the ex cons and recent parolees in my area look like.” 🙂 Also, in my experience no picture doesn’t equal hideously disfigured or supremely unattractive. No. It equals MARRIED! Steer clear.

  2. eM Says:

    Hahahahhahahahahahahaahhah @ “I have no desire to have to plop my date up on the kitchen counter in order to get a kiss from him.” 🙂

    As for your question, it seems like a lot of work to flip through the faceless profiles. If you have a picture up, it’s not fair that they don’t. It probably won’t hurt to peruse a few of them but I would be much more cut-throat about which ones and request a photo within the first few days of communication.

    • I would absolutely be cut throat about who, if anyone, I would contact with no pic…

      and yeah, I once dated a guy who was 5’8″ and if he would sit on the counter, he would be the perfect ‘kissing height’! 🙂

  3. everevie Says:

    Umm…don’t do it. If you wanna open up your searches…I would think about profiles of men in Mozambique before profiles of men with no pics.

    It’s not fair that they get to see (and judge) you without having to put themselves out there too. Seems either self-indulgent or self-concious to me. Both options suck.

  4. silly_G Says:

    haha. The who’s viewed me section! Unfortunately its the same guys as the online now, who wants to meet ya sections. My city is pretty small, seems like alot of the professionals, or those lying about being professionals, hide their profiles… (ya sue me, I sometimes search by income).

    One of my more pro online dating friends says he contacts people without pictures, but if they don’t cough one up in the first conversation, he’s out. I say try it.

    • I’ll have to devise a clever way to work in the ultimatum of ‘send me a picture now’ or no more communication 🙂

      Too funny about the ‘who’s viewed me’ are the creapersons who never actually log off …….

  5. Online Dating Circus Expert Says:

    Do I really want to spend hours weeding thru faceless profiles?

    No. You don’t. I would be open to guys sending you a message first ONLY if attached with a pic….but otherwise, don’t waste your time. As you and I both know, even guys WITH pics can be less than hot in real life. Why hide? Seriously.

    Meanwhile, my suggestion? Join more dating sites! http://www.evanmarckatz.com/links.php

    • You have got to be kidding me ODC! Join MORE dating sites? Were you not around at the beginning of the year when I was on 7? That was quite the exercise in futility. 😦 What an exhausting waste of time. I think I still have my profile up on 3 …….

  6. If you decide to pursue faceless men then definitely narrow your search way way down to exactly what you want and go from there. You should try the singlesnet though 😉

  7. silly_G Says:

    Envious of you big city ladies! In my city, match.com has about 20 men in the age range of 36-45, I had one match on eharmony and so on. Only option here… the big old tailings pond! Large filter required…

  8. Back in the olde days I would not have my picture up, but I soon realised if the women are not going to talk to me once they see my photo (pretty much 100% of the time) then I may as well make it visible, just in case there’s some crazy women out there who like ugly men.
    Anyhow, turns out there are.

    Nowadays I assume the lady is cheating or is just dog ugly. It seems that ISN’T always the case. Apparently some very attractive women hide their pic so they don’t get hammered as much with emails. Not sure how this goes with men, I’m guessing the hotties still get a fair pounding. So to speak.

    • Nice play on words there are the end. 😉

      Although beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it only takes one good one to find us gorgeous, I still kinda think faceless profiles are cheaters. Glad you put your pic up!

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