So last week was the Jewish New Year. Don’t ask me how the Jewish calendar works, I just know that it’s the opposite of the ‘other’ one. What? Don’t judge me. There was an awesome playground across the street from my Sunday school. It’s really not my fault that my bathroom breaks would usually take an hour or so and I missed out on learning any of the pertinent information.
Anyway, we’re all well aware that i’m a bad Jew. No, not in the sense that I’m a bad person, i’m just your average run of the mill non religious jack jew. If such a thing existed.
None of my dating profiles state my ‘technical’ religion as I chose ‘spiritual but not religious’ on all of them as that’s the closest to what I am (’cause non religious kissing whore is not an option). Well creepily enough, that boring old Jewish Doctor that was messaging me on Match last week before I opted to admit defeat in that boredom trumps being able to tell my mother that I’m dating a doctor and stopped responding, wished me L’Shana Tova yesterday. Which is hebrew for happy new year. Uhm, I never told him I’m Jewish. My profile doesn’t state that I’m Jewish. Being a tall, blonde, blue eyed gal I am pretty much the antithesis of what Jewish women look like. So unless he’s running around wishing random gentiles a Happy Jewish New Year, he either did some sort of creepy religious google search on me or somehow knows me or my family in real life.
Let’s say it all together……..creepy!