43 & Single – Heaven Help Me, I've Resorted To Internet Dating!

Ridiculous & Random Stories & Thoughts on My Experiences

I Did It, Part 3 ………. The Texts November 2, 2011

Filed under: bad dates,dating,internet dating,online dating,single — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 3:37 pm
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So I’d just gotten done listening to TD seemingly try to talk himself out of wanting to date me the night prior.  The evening took a somewhat odd change in direction when I realize that was in fact what he was doing.  It’s like I then gained the upper hand as I knew he was doing it, but he had no clue.  So I told him to take as much time as needed but that I wasn’t waiting around for him, yadda yadda.   Had no intentions of contacting him like he wanted me to.  Was going to get thru this week, go on my cruise and whatever.  Until 6:48am the very next morning when I start recieving a string of texts that go something like this:

I know you didn’t expect to hear from me but I need to tell you something ……I thought it would take about 2 weeks to figure things out but apparently all I needed was one night ……… I thought long and hard about everything we talked about last night and have re-read your letter 3 times ………. I know we have a connection, I can feel it when we hug and I’ve been convincing myself I needed to ignore it ………. I don’t want to ignore it any more …….. Just give me the word and I will clean up all my loose ends and delete my profile from Match ………you’re the one that I want and see a future with…….. if you’ll have me………..what do you say? 

There were many more texts (and some pretty fucking amazing ones at that) spanning from 6:48am thru until I opted to respond around 7:30 (just to be a bitch), but you get the gist.  My reply to him?  Well that went along the lines of ‘what has changed between last night and this morning?  How can you feel you don’t know what you want and aren’t ready less than 12 hours ago to this?  You’re just afraid to be alone and it’s feeling like I forced your hand in this, so my answer is no’.  I know!  Can you believe it? I actually said no.  To him. 

What has ensued has been 2 days of him texting me reasons why he is ready.  Reasons why he is choosing me.  Reasons why I am the right one for him.  Explaining that I was always the right one, but he just didn’t want to admit it to himself.  He thought he needed to ‘comparison shop’ but decided that was ridiculous and couldn’t risk losing me.  Ways he will make me happy.  Ways he will create time for ‘us’.  Ways that I just ‘fit’.  Ways that I am better than ‘the others’.  He dumped Sunday night whore last night.  He apologized for being an idiot.  He thanked me for working around the kids’ schedules this past month and assured me he isn’t usually so ‘busy’ and will have much more free time to devote to me.  And tons of other things that I never even questioned.

Fact being that he did respond to each and every one of my concerns and many that weren’t even concerns.  He seems sincere.  I don’t think I’m the ‘easy fix’ to avoid being lonely.  As he explained, if that’s all he wanted, he would have stuck with Sunday whore (you all do realize that he doesn’t actually call her that, right?).  I don’t think I forced his hand as he didn’t have to text me the very next morning.  Do I think he possibly panicked about losing me?  Yeah, kind of, but I think that’s a valid concern of his.  He has seemingly already written me into he and his kids’ lives.  As his kids mean the world to him, I think that is what sticks with me most.

Have I changed my response to him yet?  Nope.  Will I?  You’re damn right I will.  This is the man that I want.  The emotionally retarded basket case that he is.  You all know how I love a good project. 😉 Truth of the matter is, he’s good for me.  I read back to before he started dating.  Before he started freaking out about the ex.  We do just get along and he feels ‘right’.  He’s good for me.  He cares about me and I think will do his best to make me happy.  I deserve that.  I told him we could spend some time together tomorrow night and we will see…….

How odd is it going to be to finally get to kiss the man that I’ve wanted to kiss for so long?  Yikes!  I’ve never been nervous about kissing anyone in my life……….. Is it possible that I have actually met (and not scared away with all my annoying theatrics) the man that I really want and was looking for?  On the *gasp* internet??????

.

I can’t wait to hear what my intuitive has to tell me in the morning!  Should be good!

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14 Responses to “I Did It, Part 3 ………. The Texts”

  1. Kat Richter Says:

    Finally! I’ve been on edge ever since reading your post about his reaction this morning. I’m SO GLAD he’s finally gotten his act together, and so glad you’re going to give yourself (and him) a shot at being happy together. Good for you for laying your cards on the table 🙂

    • Thanks Kat! Hahaha, I did the whole ‘suspense thing’ in your honor as you’re so good at it!

      I now have to deal with a whole new can of worms in my head on how not to freak out and fuck it up ……. I’m a mess, we so deserve each other 😉

      • Kat Richter Says:

        Haha, I hear ya! I can’t tell you how many times I find myself sitting their just saying, “Don’t fuck this up, Kat. Don’t fuck this up!!!” I can’t wait to hear about tonight’s date– now I know why everyone always complains when I leave them with a cliff hanger!

  2. Cousin Bette Says:

    Wow! I’m going back on line then after the CBA hiatus. Coz if you can manage it, perhaps, perhaps, perhaps so can I! Good luck, GGD!

  3. ifUseekAmy Says:

    Holy crap! I’m really glad he came to his senses and that you’ll both give it a shot. You deserve to be happy and if being with him is going to do that, then I am thrilled for you. I only hope and wish the best for you both, but mostly you 😉 xoxoxo

    • Thanks Amy. It’s certainly worth giving it a shot I think. I guess I’m just not used to getting what I want as I’m not quite sure what to do …… damn that’s sad! 😦 I so appreciate the good wishes! xoxoxox

  4. stevesw Says:

    KISS HIM! and stop over thinking, or we will start calling you the ‘engineer.’

    • Oh Steve, do you know so little about me as to think I could manage not to overthink anything? 😉 I will kiss him. I just have to see him 1st. Keep your fingers crossed Thursday night!

  5. TikkTok Says:

    ♥ this! Squee!!! 😀

  6. You do realize I am 100% living through you right now right? Good luck tomorrow night my friend 🙂

  7. […] those of you that have been stupid bored insane  reading me for a while, you might recall that this day last year was one of the happiest days for me.  Ever.  It was the day that I thought I was finally going to […]


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