43 & Single – Heaven Help Me, I've Resorted To Internet Dating!

Ridiculous & Random Stories & Thoughts on My Experiences

1st Kiss? November 4, 2011

Filed under: internet dating — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 12:53 am

So TD comes over after work and of course, all I’ve thought about for most of the day is how friggin’ awkward it is going to be at 1st.  Do we shake hands?  Hug?  Cheek kiss?  What?  Before he got there I sucked down enjoyed a cocktail and then I hear the doorbell and decide that before he enters my house and my dogs basically maul the poor man to death, that I’ll meet him in the driveway.  Yeah,  awkward in broad daylight is actually worse than awkward inside or awkward at night.  Who knew?  So we do the lame ole’ friendship hug (boo me).  And he comes in.  And we stand there.  And look at each other.  And hesitate.  And then ……….. nothing.  Awesome.  I offer him something to drink and he excuses himself to the restroom which I totally took as the perfect opportunity to text my Doppelganger and update her on the awkwardness of it all.  Ya’ know what sort of support she offers?  She wants to make sure that I have landscaped the bike path.  WTF?  Uhm, I went out of my way to wear the most hideous lime green ugly undies I could find to help ensure that, should the opportunity present itself, that I would be a good girl.  At the rate we were going however, I’d be lucky if he held my hand. 

Anyway, he comes out of the bathroom and is standing across from me and we’re looking at each other and I, in all my suave glory, say ‘can we just get this out of the way?’ and lay one on him.  I’m such a lady.  Not.  It was a totally tame kiss just to break the ice.  Whatever, don’t judge.  I asked if that was okay to do and he says that he thought of doing the same thing but didn’t want to offend me.  Uhm, hello?  So we head out to happy hour and have a great time, as always.  We talk about things and he mentions how much he’s going to miss me on my trip.  He then asks me when I thought it would be okay to ask someone to take their profile offline.  Uhm?  Did he want permission to keep it up?  I gave the uber (and totally BS) response of, I guess that’s up to the person in question as to when they want to take it down.  To which he tells me that he took his profiles down that morning.  Yey me!

There was some hand holding.  A small kiss in the parking lot.   A very sweet hug in the restaurant.  A ‘thanks for sticking in there for me’.  A ‘i’m so sorry for what I put you through’.  And pretty much anything else he could say to make me wonder what the hell I’ve been doing dating such dipshits for so long.  As he had to pick his son up from basketball tryouts, we cut the evening short and he brought me back home.  Where we proceeded to stand in my driveway for the next hour or so.  Talking.  Or not.  Actually there was very little talking going on.  He’s a really good kisser and not at all the ‘shy’ guy that Doppelganger, and I, thought he would be.  Just in case he was ‘testing’ me to see if this is how I act on all 1st dates, I brought it up 1st.  I said that all of this was totally unexpected and he says ‘what? you don’t normally do this on a 1st date?’.  I then explained that the last 3 months were our 1st date and this was, well, something else.  We kinda fit.  Well.  Pretty sure he thinks I’m only a semi whore instead of a full fledged one. 🙂  No, no clothes were removed (we were in my driveway for shit’s sake), but some hands wandered and some comments were made …… what?  I’ve been waiting a long time for this, and it wasn’t just me anyway!

He finally had to leave and I text messaged him with ‘saying thank you for tonight doesn’t seem to cover it’ and he responds ‘I feel exactly the same way’.  Thank fucking god for my lime green granny panties or heaven knows what else could have happened.

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18 Responses to “1st Kiss?”

  1. It has taken me approximately 4 hours to get current with where I last left off reading your blogs. Hell, I was even sneaking reading them while I kept my phone in my desk drawer and pretended to be reviewing records on my desk.

    I feel as if I know you on a “blog friend” level and not in the creepy kinda way.
    My response to all of this after catching up…and I feel I can now say this to you.
    “Bout the f#*^k g*d damn time!”

    • Heels! You’re too funny. I can only imagine the headache involved in reading all of my latest posts back to back. Quite the trooper you are!

      Awesome comment and I couldn’t agree more!! Thanks so much! Good to ‘see’ you again 🙂

  2. Kat Richter Says:

    Haha, I’m glad I’m not the only one who does crazy shit (ugly green granny panties) to avoid crazy shit (first date sex). Glad you had a good time!

  3. So glad to hear that it went well despite the awkward moments.. and so glad to hear that he’s a good kisser. That’s important, ya know! Yay you!

    • Don’t you know it! I don’t know what the hell I would have done had he been a bad kisser or we were totally out of sync on stuff …….. thank goodness I don’t have to wonder about that any more. Well, until ……… 😉

  4. Matthew Says:

    *throwing arms up in the air*

    Success!

  5. Online Dating Circus Expert Says:

    OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why do I need to work? 1) So sorry I have been MIA and 2) OMG!!!!!! I just read through all your posts since that last time I commented. Wow. I am in shock!!!!

    What an amazing turn of events that I really never in a hundred years saw playing out. Congrats to you for being honest with yourself and him. And yay for you for last night!!!!! Wow!!!!! I am excited to hear more 😀

  6. Fristal Ann Says:

    I love this! I really look forward to reading your posts. Congrats on the first date, although, it wasn’t nearly as awkward as some dates I have been on. I went to one date at a restaurant and the guy was texting the whole time!

    • Thanks so much! Yeah, I’ve been on plenty of craptastic dates with guys who text, are rude and then there’s the one that actually ran out the door mid date yelling behind him ‘I can’t take this, I feel like you’re mad at me’. 😉

  7. stevesw Says:

    OK, so did you landscape the bike path?
    Took you long enough in thepost to get to The Kiss! GREAT!
    BTW, from a man’s perspective, discovering lime green granny panties would make no difference if we had progressed that far, and I would not say anything during or after.

    • Haha, pretty sure the lime green grannies wouldn’t deter a guy, but would make me think twice about allowing access onto that bike trail. 😉 And yes, the kiss was great. As were all the ones from last night. 🙂

  8. Pammy Girl Says:

    Hooray! I once read that you had to go on 17 bad dates to finally get a good one. I feel that you’ve been on 357 bad dates but now (finally) you have your reward. Congrats!!!

  9. Oh Goose! I just read and caught up with you. I am truly so happy for you. No one I know has worked harder and deserves love more than you. I am so very happy for you Goose..you made my day. I hope you won’t stop writing now that you have a man in your life.


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