So we all know that my eggplant self spent Thanksgiving with TD and his family. Yes, that in and of itself is probably not the best idea in the world, but it went okay. No really. Now I just need to be able to get through his birthday, X-Mas & New Years without turning into a complete whack job. Mind you, being on the wagon is not helping. Or maybe it is. For certain, the fact that I’ve already lost 8 of the 15 lbs that I want to lose has. HA! Take that TD! Oh wait, that’s not what this post is about ……
Anywhoo, I offer to help hang Christmas lights. Nice, right? Yeah, I’ve never done this before in my life and while I drew the line at actually climbing up the ladder (most likely only to fall off soon thereafter), I helped replace the itty bitty burnt out bulbs and ‘feed’ the line to him. No, thank you, I did not even try to look up his shorts while he was atop the ladder. 🙂 Look how mature I am!
So he explains easily enough how to switch out those stupid little annoying bulbs. Of course I can’t get a proper grip on the little suckers in order to pull them from the strand in order to replace so I ask for a pair of needle nose pliers. Oh stop, even I know what those are. Anyway, much to his oblivious delight, he thinks I’m doing a great job. Until I find that the pliers just shatter the stupid bulbs and leave the part that I need to pull out still firmly lodged on the line, so I grab a screwdriver to wedge the stupid thing out. Right as TD is warning me not to hold the screwdriver by the metal shaft (hee hee, I said shaft), which of course I ignore, and is mid warning about shock something or other, I was able to pop the little light base out……and shove the tip of the screwdriver inside the little electrified line. Yey me. Not really. What ensued what a very loudly yelled expletive (me), a screwdriver being thrown reflexively into the middle of the street (me again), a grown man rolling around the front lawn laughing his ass off (him), a look of total shock, pun totally intended (me again) and finally, after a good 3 minutes of Mr. That Was Fucking Hysterical almost wetting his pants, a highly overdue inquiry of ‘are you okay’? (him)
I will not be helping next year …….. but know I will forever be the family X-Mas light story that he will never tire of sharing ……. *sigh*