43 & Single – Heaven Help Me, I've Resorted To Internet Dating!

Ridiculous & Random Stories & Thoughts on My Experiences

So How Did You Two Meet? December 25, 2011

Filed under: bad dates,dating,internet dating,online dating — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 9:39 am
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Well, yesterday was Christmas Eve (yes, I know, I have an amazing ability to state the obvious, you’re welcome).  I was faced with a couple of options.  Go to TD’s house to spend it with his extended family or stay home and try not to kill Finger Foods.  Yeah, not sure which would have been more uncomfortable, so I chose the option with really good food.  And a mother.  And father.  And 2 brothers.  And 2 sister in laws.  And 5 kids.  And aside from the whole ‘what the hell is the strange blonde non family member doing here’ factor, it was a nice day.  Now against all that I claim to be with my ability to talk to a wall or strike up a conversation with a random homeless person, I get a little nervous in groups of people.  Especially when I’m not quite sure where I ‘fit’.  Awesome.  This scenario played on both of these insecurities.  As it was at TD’s house, I knew at least it would be familiar surroundings.  And as TD doesn’t get along all that spectacularly with his family, I knew we could be kinda uncomfortable together.  And drink covertly thru the entire day as his family doesn’t drink and well, we all know I do. 😉

Mom and dad were fine.  Fairly personable.  Middle brother and wife were very nice in a new age-y sorta way.  Oldest brother, wife and socially awkward kids were pleasant as well.  I chatted, I smiled, I played hostess and then it hit me.  What the hell was I doing there?  I’m not family.  I’m not a girlfriend.  I’m just in this sort of grey area.  So I did what I do best in situations such as these.  I retreated to the kitchen to putter around for an extended period of time.  When I was able to get my nerves back up (and another cocktail ingested), I rejoined the masses and no one was the wiser.  Until it came.  The question.  The same question that gets asked most times we’re out together.  No, not the ‘how long have you been dating’ question that is so near and dear to my heart, but the ‘how did you two originally meet’ question.  Uhm, really?  He swore to me that his family knew all about me.  According to him though, who knows what that exactly means.  I got the awesome opportunity to explain that we originally met on a dating site, but are just ‘friends’ now.  To which no one believed.  Including me. 

One of the sister in laws announces ‘it’s about time you met a nice girl TD.  I like her.’  To which I promptly laughed and paid her $20.  Okay, I did laugh though.  Apparently the family is as confused as I am as they certainly don’t believe the ‘just friends’ moniker.  As one of the sister in laws was putting my number in her phone (apparently I have a new hiking buddy), she asked what she should ‘label’ me as.  TD’s ‘friend’?  I told her it depended on what week she was referring to.  Yup, eggplant ……….

Strange aside though;  before the family got there, a friend of TD’s (that I had not yet met) stopped by.  As we were all out front, his psycho key wielding ex bitch from next door hops in her car and speeds past TD’s house.  And then back again.  And again.  She went back and forth 4 times in the whopping span of about 3 minutes.  Very odd.  That’s not the shitty part though.  Apparently I made a face (hard to believe that I could make a bitchy/annoyed face, I know) and TD’s friend made some snide comment about ‘not being mean’ to her.  Uhm, fuck you?  The bitch keyed my car and treated TD like shit.  I’m the one that’s sticking by him and am really good to him (no, really), why the hell are you worried about her???  Stupid asshole.  I hope Santa brought him coal.

Anywhoo,  after everyone left (and I hid in the kitchen doing the dishes while everyone opened presents), TD and his kids and I went downstairs to watch a movie.  Yeah, I’m thinking movie watching isn’t such a good idea for us anymore.  I slept on TD most of the time and then the kids went to bed when the movie was done.  And as par for the course, my handsy “friend” was doing his best to drive me nuts.  And it worked.  So when I reciprocated (minds out of the gutter people, just a little and all above the waist!) 😉 , right after he announced that ‘I was driving him crazy’, he announces ‘I need us to be friends’ and backs off.  WTF?!  We ARE friends, but c’mon!  I was following his lead and then he backed out.  I didn’t want to sleep with him (okay, kind of a lie), but really DID want him to kiss me (so NOT a lie).   As I felt a little stupid at that point, I did what I do best.  Acted like it didn’t matter while being PISSED inside.  With an extra helping of feeling kinda like an ass.  Did I forget to mention that he suggested earlier in the evening that if I slept over, I could just wake up and do X-Mas morning with all of them?  Yeah, I declined that offer…..

This whole thing is just so strange.  I chickened out on making him explain to me exactly how he thinks we’re ‘just friends’.  Or anything else for that matter.  I guess it is what it is and I need to figure out how I want to handle it regardless of what’s going on in his fucked up head.  Oh, and my ‘friend’ got me a DVR for X-Mas.  And a $50 GC to the place I want to be buried when I die.  Crate and Barrel.  What?  Is that so odd?  And his kids got me a really cute apron.  I didn’t really expect/want anything.  I just like buying gifts for others but for some reason feel odd accepting presents.  Unheard of a for a Jew……… 😉 Was kinda hoping Santa would bring me a big ole’ smack in the head with a side of common sense.

Oh, and he, the kids and I are going up to the White Mountains together in March …….. his idea, not mine.  Friends.  Really???

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6 Responses to “So How Did You Two Meet?”

  1. Serena Says:

    My advice….and feel free to trash it at any time, lol….

    Next time you see him wear a short skirt, and a really feminine blouse…..flirt shamelessly with him from across the room, but when he comes to try and be all “handsy” with you….pull out the friend card and remind him of what he wants to be.

    Then lie and tell him you have a date with someone (or actually have one!!!) and leave him lusting for more. Hahaha!!

    Don’t be there for him when he wants you GG, and let him throw you when he doesn’t. The nerve of him! UGH! Can I visit you and smack HIM upside the head with common sense?

    PS: I LOVE Crate and Barrel!

    • You’re hired! I wasn’t planning on letting him know about my dates as I didn’t want to hurt his feelings, but I guess that’s what I need to do if I want him to wake up and realize that someone else may win me over (ha, fat chance, but he doesn’t need to know that).

      What’s not to love about Crate and Barrel? 😉

  2. Isobel Says:

    I lust over Crate and Barrel too, I did the interior design thing for a bit in college, and got hopelessly devoted to that store… It’s inhumane not to. On the TD side this is how I feel… He is getting his cake by having you for companionship, and apparently he is on a diet and simply not *cough* eating it… You either need to decide if him *cough* eating his cake is important to you. Or if he is aware that another man could *cough* eat his cake for him if he doesn’t soon.

  3. lifeandothermisadventures Says:

    Seriously? She keyed your car. That gives you the authority to make any kind of facial expressions you’d like, I’d say.
    P.S. don’t worry, you’re not the only one with a weird relationship situation 😉


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