43 & Single – Heaven Help Me, I've Resorted To Internet Dating!

Ridiculous & Random Stories & Thoughts on My Experiences

Stop It! You Look Like You Have Turrettes January 7, 2012

Filed under: bad dates,dating,internet dating,online dating,single — Grey Goose, Dirty @ 10:02 pm
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So we’re all pretty aware that I think a ‘wink’ is the lamest form of initial contact on a dating website.  We also know that I’ve been known to use it from time to time.  Usually because the guy doesn’t interest me enough to actually read his profile or I actually have read his profile and find pretty much nothing appealing aside from the fact that I think he’s hot.  Don’t even act surprised to hear how superficial I can be; it’s no big secret.

Out of all the options for contacting and trying to win the key to my heart (or at least access to my lime green granny panties), a wink is the surest way to make sure that that never happens.  Is it that difficult to string just a few words together that show me that you actually read just part of my profile?  That you know the slightest something about me other than the fact that I’m tall and blonde? (well, auburn this week 😉 )  I guess so.

I got fed up (again) by the multitude of stupid winks I’ve been getting so being as passive aggressive is my primary language, I opted to add a special little snippet to my match.com profile.  What do you think?

I’m much more likely to respond to an actual e-mail.  Doesn’t have to be a long one, just needs to take a tiny bit more effort than a wink. I’m just sayin’….think about it; you wink; I wink back; now we’re right back where we started

Give me credit for not making it as bitchtastic as I could have. I actually thought it would be less than pc to write what I really wanted to.

 Don’t send me a wink.  It’s lame.  You’re lame.  Put some effort into this please.

Want to know how well putting this little gem in my profile has worked?  I got 12 winks today.  Yey me.


10 Responses to “Stop It! You Look Like You Have Turrettes”

  1. LOL, you got 12 winks because the douchebags don’t read. I actually responded to a wink once with a bitchtastic (thats an awesome word by the way) email that asked him to explain what the fuck the wink meant. He took a day to get back to me and then told me he was on the Match phone app when he saw my profile and all he could do was wink. Whatever.

  2. Silly (smart) girl… By updating your profile you just put yourself at the top of the radar of even more douchebags…. If somebody halfway, sorta, kinda decent winks then wink back and at least he knows you’ll respond to an email… Which, as I recall, I only responded to approximately 60% of my emails and that was only to “win” my six free months.

  3. What’s even worse is when you have to explain on your profile the lowdown on your thoughts of receiving a pic of their penis in your inbox. Really? Attaching that pic so when I open your message I see that first? Yeah, you had me at photo of your penis…true love…..

    • As many crappy guys/messages/winks as I get, I have been lucky enough to never have some idiot send me a picture of his penis! Crap, I hope I didn’t just jinx myself. 😉 Guys are kind of idiots sometimes …….

  4. […] Baby steps though, and I’ll take what I can get I guess.  Anyway, yesterday I posted a mini rant on winking.  As in, I’d rather shove a rusty fork in my eye than respond to your lame assed wink that […]

  5. Haha.. I have a message somewhat like that in my profile and they still wink and email me with my favorite line “hey, how are you doing”? …. LMAO

  6. I vote for clear and kind text: “If you want to contact me, please send me an e-mail. I will ignore all Winks and hope you understand why.”

    If they Wink without reading…they’re not alert enough for you.
    If they read and then Wink…they’re too stupid for you.
    If they didn’t pay and can’t send an e-mail…well they’re not going to be able to do anything further anyway.

    If they send you an e-mail, respond with either a proper reply or the “No Thanks” button. Simple and effective.

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