43 & Single – Heaven Help Me, I've Resorted To Internet Dating!

Ridiculous & Random Stories & Thoughts on My Experiences

It Worked! January 8, 2012

It worked!  It worked!  My powers of persuasion are actually starting to kick into gear!  If only I could harness this gift of mine in order to be able to play puppet master with certain someones, then life would be just peachy!  Baby steps though, and I’ll take what I can get I guess.  Anyway, yesterday I posted a mini rant on winking.  As in, I’d rather shove a rusty fork in my eye than respond to your lame assed wink that you deemed me worthy of.  I said how I went so far as to write in my profile to please not send a wink, but an actual message instead.  Well, guess what I had waiting for me this morning?!  Go ahead, guess!  Not one, but TWO actual messages!  Along with 8 winks, but that’s besides the point.  I was so impressed!  These guys had already earned brownie points in my book for being able to follow directions (*sigh*, how my standards have changed).  I was excited that is, until I actually read the messages.  Please enjoy:

Hi, how are you? I really took time to read your profile as well as admire your pretty picture.
I love Colorado, and I have enjoyed the opportunity to see many places like Black Canyon National Park, Ouray, Telluride, Buford, The Great Sand Dunes, Manitou Springs, and so much more. I love learning, and I have spent time developing myself through higher education, and learning from others. There is a quote that I love that goes like this……”a man that works with his hands is a laborer, a man that works with his mind is a teacher, and a man that works with his hands, heart, and mind is an artist. I like to think of myself that way…as an artist. I work with my hands as a guitarist, I work with my mind as a teacher (college professor), and I work with my heart as a psychologist (yes really I finish my doctorate in May).

I consider myself to be simple in many ways, but I have an affinity for the path of versatility. I crave variety and new experiences in life, and I am thankful for each day I am alive.
I think a man and a woman must genuinely like each other to have a chance at anything long term. Physical desire and chemistry are truly important, and liking someone for the person they are is equally important. I am thankful for all opportunities and blessings in life, and I am confident in who I am in this life.

Maybe you will read something special between these lines, and we can chat soon.

Yeah, aside from the fact that I don’t actually live in Colorado, I’m wondering what his success rate actually is with this rambling cut and paste job?  And, off topic just a bit, why the hell do I care what his favorite national parks are?  He may as well has written ‘I love camping’!  ‘Cause as we all know, unless he’s referring to a 12 year old Holiday Inn with questionable cable reception (my idea of roughing it), I’m not a big fan.

As a bonus, here’s the 2nd message I received this morning:

Hello,Hope your having a good new year so far. I was looking at your profile and think we have some things in common. You are very gorgeous and I would like to talk and get to know you. I’m pretty new to this and just looking to see what happens. Well, let me know if you would like to talk more. Get back either way and talk to you soon. Have a good rest of your weekend.

Not quite as painful as the 1st (and he called me gorgeous – granted after using ‘your’ instead of ‘you’re’,  but still strikes me as a cut and paste job), but at least he lives in state.   I haven’t actually bothered to read his profile yet, but I may actually write back to this one.  Maybe.  It depends on how bored I get.  Oh whoops, never mind.  I just read his profile.  He loves camping and reading books on spirituality.  Awesome!  Sadly, the fact that he has a picture of a dirt bike mixed in with his pics doesn’t help.  Nor does the fact that every picture but one of him is taken from a pretty far distance (never a good sign) and the one that is close enough to almost be able to discern facial features sports a pretty prominent unibrow.


5 Responses to “It Worked!”

  1. OMG I love it! But hey….Number one plays guitar!!! Always a plus in MY book!
    I always love me a guy who thinks I’m so dumb I won’t recognize a good cut n paste. Especially when I take my profile down, then put it up a while later, only to get the exact same message! Really? Really!

    I’m currently in “down” mode – taking a much needed break…trying to brew some coffee with Mr. Coffee……

    • I’m excited about your Mr Coffee and to hear/read how things progress! Just remember; take deep breaths, enjoy yourself in the now and most importantly realize that guys are kinda dumb/oblivious when it comes to communicating and that their minds don’t work like ours (i.e. neurotic, worrysome, whatever) 😉 Keeping good thoughts!

  2. Matthew Says:

    The first guy sounded like he was writing a college thesis paper.

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