No, I’m not giving you my body measurements people. Geez. What sort of a tramp do you think I am? I wish I were a better one actually, but that’s besides the point. Anyway, although wordpress was nice enough to send out a recap of 2011 for me regarding blog hits, blog posts, subscribers, most popular posts and all other things numeric, we all know those aren’t the numbers that really count in a blog about internet dating. What really counts is the number of tools, douchebags, idiots, assholes, pervs and losers that I met. Sadly this number far outweighs the number of nice guys that I got to meet, but what can ya’ do? And yes, before anyone opts to point out that the only common denominator in every single one of my shitty dates was me, I’m well aware. Really, I am. I do feel that I’ve let everyone down in a sense though. Besides my one hour long coffee date with the little man who assumed that would mean he got to talk dirty to me (via text, of course) in December, my last official ‘date’ (aside from my 2,478 faux ones with TD) was on September 14th. I missed out on more than 3 months of douchebag fishing! Darn. The fact that the following stats are really for a scant 9 months makes the whole thing even sadder.
2011 started with me dating Irish Guy (I would post a link back to him, but honestly, I’m just sick of even thinking about him). He has yet to truly figure out that I want nothing more to do with him and although the frequency has diminished, he still calls and hangs up on my vm at least once a month. I went out with
tons several guys after that before landing on Webster. We were all convinced, based on my blind assessment of him, that he was a good one. Save for all the ridiculous drama and addiction issues going on in his life or course. As I came to realize (after he informed me that he met someone else), it was more chemistry than compatibility with him. That boy could kiss like no ones business! I still miss those kisses. Just not anything else. Yey me. After that was another parade of time wasters bachelors until I met TD. No, stop screaming and don’t bother running for the hills or pounding your head against the computer monitor, I’m certainly not going to bore you with any of my ridiculousness regarding him. I’ve put you all through quite enough already. 😉
Basically 2011 brought me a bevy of men whose names and faces I can’t remember (yet ironically, most are still programmed into my phone to amuse and confuse me). It brought some amazingly funny times. Some exceptionally sad times. More tears than I care to remember. Lots of laughter that I try to remember. I started out the year on about 15 dating websites. Okay, slight exaggeration on my part, but it was more than anyone should ever be on at once. There was E-Horrorme; who I can thank for all of 2 dates as they were the best of the worst and stood over 5’5″ tall. There was Chemistry; who I can thank for a bunch of idiotic ‘ice breakers’, all of 2 dates, and a bunch of men that fell off the face of the earth before opting to meet (which can only be attributed to their being married and nothing bad on my part, right?). There was Plenty of Freaks who I can most likely thank for my overindulgence in all things vodka. I was, and still am, only on there because I can’t figure out how to delete my profile. Then there was OkStupid. The name pretty much speaks for itself. Although I met several guys off of there, it didn’t pan out any better than the others. That brings us to Match.com, which was nice enough to bestow upon me the 6 month loser membership for free. Yey me.
You don’t really care about all of this drivel though. It’s so much more fun to see concrete numbers. Try not to be too impressed with my ability to date so many different men and still be single, but please feel free to use me as a ruler in realizing that your luck isn’t nearly as bad by comparison! 🙂
2011 Dating Stats:
1st Dates: 34
1.5 Dates (fucking Fancy Pants): 1
2nd Dates: 6
3rd dates: 1 (finally)
actually got up to a 6th date before the shit hit the fan
‘Views on Match’: 6,347
Free drinks consumed : at least 70 🙂
Number of penis pics received : 0 (thank goodness)
and our newest category; bike rides in 2011: 3
Now, all this being stated, my outlook on finding ‘the one’ has taken a bit of a beating however I refuse to stop searching. Sure, it’s depressing and discouraging and pretty much a big huge pain in the ass to keep looking, but he’s out there. I just know it. And it’s my job to find him. However hard he’s trying to hide from me. 😉