43 & Single – Heaven Help Me, I've Resorted To Internet Dating!

Ridiculous & Random Stories & Thoughts on My Experiences

Glad To See Absolutely Nothing Has Changed…… February 3, 2012

Fine, so I mustered up the energy (not enthusiasm) to update my match.com profile so it would send me to the top of the shitpile of single women in my town and all the losers single men in my area would be struck dumb by my stunning beauty and sparkling personality.  Okay, to be honest, they’re pretty dumb on their own so they didn’t need my enthusiasm. 😉

After summarily deleting multiple winks and e mails from random tool bags (and their grandfathers), I came across a semi decent one. Could have been a form message, but he was 6’3″ and didn’t make me want to stab myself when I looked at his pictures, so I responded.

As I can’t possibly put into words how fucking amazingly astonished I was to see him go from ‘possible’ to ‘ugh’, I’ll just post our witty message exchange for your reading displeasure.

Him: 

I love your profile.   Looking to find the right person.  I have recently moved here from Atlanta and am having a house built.  If you are up for some drinks and hanging out later let me know.

(yes, I must be fairly desperate for male companionship to think that this ice cold message with no signature or anything of interest included might be worth actually showering for)

Me:

 Hello,

Thanks for the e-mail.  You neglected to tell me your name though and as I can’t pronounce ‘*****’, I’m hoping that’s not it. 😉

I liked your profile and your list of what you’re looking for in a woman.  I’ve got most of them pretty much covered.  Right down to the ‘must like watching sports or at least act like it’ part. 🙂

Drinks sound great.  I much prefer meeting face to face and having a conversation over messaging back and forth forever…….. just sayin’.  Welcome to Arizona!

Looking forward to hearing back from you.

Him: 

When

We’re meeting tomorrow at 7.  No, not really.  I may be desperate for male companionship, but with witty banter like that, I’d rather stay home and talk to my dogs.

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9 Responses to “Glad To See Absolutely Nothing Has Changed……”

  1. “When” … OMG. So thoughtless. Not even punctuation!

    Delete & Block forthwith.

  2. Janet in Philly Says:

    Geez..if he’s that “message-challenged”, he must be a real firecracker face-to-face.

  3. […] of course I couldn’t just let it go when Mr. Dickhead sent me a one word response to my e-mail.  I could have been the bigger person and just let it go […]

  4. Ya…guys are pretty bizarre online. I either get answers like that, or they write me a freaking novel and put this at the very end of the conversation…

    “Looking to connect with quality people Donna, I don’t have time for the bad girls”

    Now how the HELL do you take that? I am covered in tattoos, I have stuff pierced and I am very probably ONE of those bad girls…

    I am good with that….

    I would probably kill him in an hour.

    NEXT!!!

  5. Matthew Says:

    And now I’m a moron. Read that completely out of context on who said what. (Ugh, Monday). I thought he made the comment about the dog.

    Just save me the embarrassment and delete my above comment. 😉

    Oy.


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