43 & Single – Heaven Help Me, I've Resorted To Internet Dating!

Ridiculous & Random Stories & Thoughts on My Experiences

Why I’m Single + The Worst Words Uttered……..Ever February 4, 2012

So of course I couldn’t just let it go when Mr. Dickhead sent me a one word response to my e-mail.  I could have been the bigger person and just let it go knowing what a douchebag he was and most likely always will be, but that just wouldn’t be my style, now would it?  Instead I opted to take the uber mature road and send a concise response of my own that went something like this:

Thanks so much for your very wordy response.  As you still didn’t bother to tell me your name or even go to the effort of phrasing your stellar one word ‘when’ in a complete sentence in response to my agreeing to meet for a drink, I feel that you deserve an equally stellar reply, so how about ‘never’.

Yup, I’m going to be single for a looooooong time to come.


So as for those words that I hope no one ever has to hear.  Please refrain from yelling at your computer when you hear the very abbreviated back story and sending multiple ‘I told you so’, ‘You’re an idiot’, ‘You deserve it’, ‘Pull your head out of your ass’ comments.  I know.  I also know it will come as no surprise that TD came back into the picture after our craptastic spectacular New Years Eve.  We spent pretty much every day of January together.  When my brother in law was killed TD was there for me every step of the way and honestly, I don’t know how I would have made it through things without him.  Sure, I knew he had told me that he will be dating again, but I chose to pay attention to his actions instead of his words.  Huh, who knew that neither are mutually exclusive.  This time around though, he fooled not even himself and me, but everyone that saw us together.  I gave up trying to explain that we’re ‘just friends’ to everyone around us as they all would shake their head and explain why I was the one that was mistaken.  TD had even said that having had to go to yet another funeral with me has put a new perspective on things and how he really knew what was important now.  Silly me assumed that meant regarding me.  Actually it did.  In that I’m not who he wants.  At least not yet until he comparison shops around.  As that makes absolutely no sense to me, I asked him yesterday, point blank, why it was that he was so quick to discount me as an option without even ever giving us a real chance at dating?  How he was going to know when he had dated enough to know what it was that he was looking for?  How, if you’re always looking for something better, you’re never going to be happy.  Through tears, and explaining that he would in fact be comparing all of his internet dates to me, how it wouldn’t be fair for him to ask me not to date while he did, how it did bother him that I was dating others, then he uttered the most horrible phrase I’ve ever heard.  And hope to never hear again.  And yes, I should have known all along, but he runs so hot and cold and there is much more that I haven’t shared with any of you in regards to things he’s said, done, inferred, implied, whatever.  This man is terrified of commitment and making a mistake.  This man has honestly treated me better than anyone ever has in the past.  This man has made me happier than anyone else in the past.  And has made me the saddest.  Things are a bit convoluted at the moment, and although I know I’ve said it in the past, I mean it this time.  I need to let him, it and my hopes of a future with TD go.  So, what was that horrible phrase?  What did he say to me that pretty much crushed any lingering hope I might have held onto?  He simply said:

I’m just not excited by the thought of having a relationship with you


11 Responses to “Why I’m Single + The Worst Words Uttered……..Ever”

  1. keepingitrealembassy Says:

    Dont give up! Its his loss. Yes, its gonna hurt, but remember what he has to explain. To his kids and family, that he broke it off with you, and wanting to know why. Not a great position to be in. Its when you stop looking is when they come out the woodwork……..lol

  2. Serena Says:

    Okaaay……the first 3 words that came to my mind, and excuse the language, were….

    No fucking way.

    Are you serious?

    First of all, I am so sorry for everything that’s been happening in your life, and for the loss of your brother-in-law. I know, I’m late to say anything…..but life has left me bewildered recently. I hope you are doing better, aside from the TD crap.

    And I really hope that you mean this time when you say you’re going to let him go. It’s really hard to do when your heart is involved, but this is just so unhealthy for you. I understand how he’s been good in your life in certain ways, but to say he’s not excited about having a relationship with you when he’s basically been having one anyway, is just sickening.

    Talk about having his cake and eating it too.

    He’s still treating you this way because you’re still giving him the time of day. Really let him go this time and ignore him. I know you probably needed him to get through the family crisis you had, but he was there, and you got through it….and you are still the sweet, wonderful GG you’ve always been…..and he is still the same dumbass (I know, nice guy, but…..still…..)

    On a lighter note, my husband has been overseas for the past 5 months, and tomorrow he comes home…..but for only 32 days…..so I don’t think I’ll be on the computer all that much 😉 i hope when I do check back with you that you have some dashing gentleman taking care of you, and you are about to be swept off your feet! It will happen……just open your heart to the possibility.



    • He did add ‘try not to take it personally, I fear I’m not excited to start a relationship with anyone right now’ in an attempt to discount the shitty factor, but yeah, nice statement. I know what I need to do Serena. What I’ve needed to do for a long time. And I will. I just need to figure out one slight business venture issue that involves him. Can’t really tell him to go away and then have to see him when we meet with people, now can I? That’s the tricky part.

      I’m sorry you’ve been going through some rough times, but I’m so glad your hubby is coming home! Enjoy every single minute of your 32 days with him!

      Thank you for always having my best interest at heart! xoxoxoxo

  3. Matthew Says:

    Even the bone-heads have their non-so-shining-moments where they can Eff everything up. This was TD’s.

    There are some things you can’t take back and that is one.

    As hard as it may be, I say let him go. Move on and get back out there in full force…the GG way.

    If/when he actually comes to his senses…make him earn every friggin’ ounce.

    His uncertainty is only holding to down. And though he’s been supportive as a friend in incredibly hard times all of this could end up hurting you more than helping you.

    • You’re so right Matthew, he can never take back what he said. Regardless of if he ‘really’ meant it or not, it is forever going to be stuck in my head. 😦

      Thank you for saying ‘if/when’ regarding him coming to his senses. I doubt it will be ‘when’, but you better believe if it were to ever happen that I would be very very cautious. What’s that saying? Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice and I’m just a big fucking moron?

  4. I feel your pain. I got told via text “you just don’t give me that spark that I’m looking for.” This is after making me think that we’d be engaged soon. Never again. I have nothing but anger right now. I kept the text. Just in case I get stupid and think I want back with him. I will read that text and it will knock me back into my sense. I’m sorry. I’ve been reading your blog and I feel for you. People keep saying oh your special one will come along. Don’t think so, I think mine got hit by a bus. lol!

    • Ouch. As if having to hear that isn’t bad enough; via text?!?!? That’s horrible. I’m so sorry. I wish I could be angry. I think that would make things easier (for me, at least). Good thinking to keep the text and re-read it for when that shit contacts you again and wants you back.

      Your special one IS out there. There is someone for all of us. Ours are just a little too well hidden at the moment I fear. 😉

  5. Pammy Girl Says:

    His one-word response told me everything I need to know about him… there is NO mystery about him. No, he is a douche bag and so not worth your time. Do NOT beat yourself up over that one. I thought your reply was witty… I don’t think he was smart enough to get it and that’s definitely a reason to run screaming the other way.

    Oh… I got a LinkedIn invite from someone I couldn’t place… until I saw his face. I went out on ONE date with him 4 years ago in LA. He yelled at the waiter and barked at me. He also told me he hit a homeless person with his car earlier that morning. I practically ran back to my car (thankfully we met at his hotel bar). No. I did not accept his LinkedIn invitation. Freak.

  6. lifeandothermisadventures Says:

    Oh, lady, my heart just BROKE for you.

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