No, not to live you big sillies! 6 days left of your craptastic pity membership to match. 6 days left to have every inappropriate (read: short, unattractive, out of state)
tool bachelor contact you. 6 days left to revel in the amazingly sad statistic that my profile has been viewed 7,691 times over the past 12 months and I have not much to show for it. 6 days left to cringe scratch my head every time I look at the list of guys that have ‘favorited’ me. 6 days left to decide if I want to extend or not. 6 days left to decide that if I do decide to take my profile down, that I will not come in TD’s searches and he will not be reminded that I AM a good match for him. 6 days left to decide if that’s totally lame. 6 days left to decide if I really want to even date right now. 6 days left to send out as many winks as my little fingers can manage without spraining anything. 6 days left to bemoan the fact that this will be the 2nd year (YEAR people) that I have been online dating and have only a few sad highlights to show for it. I’m thinking the top 4 are Lemon Zinger, Paul (aka: dear john), Webster & TD. I don’t even know how to categorize these blips on the radar, but just for shits and giggles, here goes:
Lemon Zinger: SOOOOOO not my type, but made me laugh and wrote amazing e-mails. Had an awesome time in person when we met. He ‘really’ liked me and I really liked him. Then he turned into a flake. I turned into a neurotic idiot and that was that. All of about 3 weeks, 3 dates and 1 dear Grey Goose letter later.
Paul: Such a nice guy. So unsure of what he was doing as he was just coming off of a 12 year marriage. Had fun. Actually took him to a family function and he survived meeting the family. He was very slow with the physical contact but ended our 3rd and (unbeknownst to me) final date with a really awesome kiss. To be followed by yet another Dear Grey Goose Letter in the morning. Anyone else seeing a trend here? I converted him to a friend (this one actually was a friend), but haven’t spoken to him since before the holidays. Oh well.
Webster: Ahhhh, my favorite project boy. 7 months separated, 7 months sober, 7 months without kissing anyone. Had a penchant for using really long and pretentious words in the wrong context. Best kisser …….. EVER. Actually made me dinner. We had a pretty amazing chemistry thing going. So amazing that I didn’t take note of what a dick he was being. I think he made it to date #5 or 6 (don’t laugh, that was a record for me up until that point). Ended up getting a Dear Grey Goose letter from him too. A full month after he seemingly fell off the face of the earth. Awesome.
TD: yeah, whatever, read back over the past 7 months and he’s all over the place. Still don’t know how to categorize him. The one that referred to us as ‘friends’ but then tells me the other day that he considered us ‘dating’. What? I don’t ‘date’ guys without kissing them. Duh. Everyone knows that. Woulda been nice to know he thought we were dating so I could have actually acted like a date instead of trying to play by his ever changing friendship rules. I got to send the Dear TD letter on this one. About 3 different times. Shoulda named him ‘Mixed Signals’ for blogging purposes.
So anyway, what does everyone think I should do about my membership? Extend for a month? Extend for 3 months? Extend for 6 months and start saving for my funeral as I will absolutely kill myself if I am the recipient of the 6 month loser clause membership for the 3rd year in a row. 😦
Oh, and I do believe I have a date with the 6’4″ guy this weekend. Can you see me jumping for joy? Yeah, that’s ’cause I’m not. 😦