Holy cow, it’s sort of with a modicum of joy that I realize my match.com membership ends tonight. After 2 years. Sorry, make that 2 loooooong years. I don’t need to recap the date numbers and douchebags as they’re all listed on my handy little ‘dickhead to grey goose’ dictionary conveniently divided by years for your reading displeasure up above and to the right.
I do believe I have purposely sabotaged whatever e-mail flirting *gag* I had going on with the guy that lives too far away, isn’t really my type, but is tall. Eh, I guess I can only be boring and disinterested for so long before they stop trying, right? 😉 Yup, I suck. No biggie, we all know this about me.
So before I regale you with stats, I will tell you that I’m a-okay today. Is it because I know that I will see TD sometime in the future? Is it because I had a wonderful friend invite me over to her house last night and proceed to bury me in compliments? Is it because I get to see another friend from out of town this weekend? Is it because I know for a fact that TD checks my FB page all the time and I have taken to posting status updates that make him think I’m doing awesomely and lined up with dates? Who knows. While I am far from great, I am good, and that is okay for now.
Now, back to my lovely friend from last night. Let me tell you that she is funny, and witty and kind and successful and beautiful inside and out. And doesn’t believe a word of that. Ya’ know what? She told me that I was funny and kind and beautiful and successful and good hearted too. And I don’t believe a word of that either. We’re two very different people, but so very alike in so many ways. I find it more easy to believe the good hearted parts than I will ever the beautiful parts. I guess I have to wonder, if I’m so terrific, why the hell haven’t I been snatched up yet? Oh yeah, I’m also a bitch ………never mind 😉
So before I logged off of Match.com for the last time tonight and saw that *gasp* TD was not logged on, nor has he updated his profile today (what? leave me alone, you all know I do this) I came to the conclusion that he has a) either already met someone amazing b) has a backlog of dates set up c) has gotten overwhelmed and is on a mini break or (my favorite) d) has realized that none of those bitches can hold a candle to me and is just trying to figure out an uber romantic and believable way to tell me. Yeah, I’m guessing it’s not D either. And truth be told, if he came to my doorstep tomorrow and told me that I was ‘the one’, I’m not quite sure that I would ever believe that. So much has been done and said to the contrary. Not sure I would ever feel like anything more than a consolation prize for him. That kinda sucks. Huh, I guess I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it. Me and my oxygen tank, that is.
So my friends, I will leave you with this. After 2 years on match. 1 year in which I paid for and 1 year which was made up of pity memberships, I have not much to show. Apparently this past year my profile has been viewed 8,105 times. Holy shit that’s a lot! In the past month alone I have received 68 e-mails (to which I responded to 3); I actually sent out 2 e-mails all on my very own; I’ve been the sad recipient of 172 winks and have sent out 13 of my own.
Sigh………….I will certainly
NOT miss you match.com. That is, until I decide to dive head first into the cesspool again. 😉 Save me a spot please!